When to announce you are expecting

geanencook · October 2014

This is my first pregnancy and my husband and I are struggling with when to tell certain people in our family. We found out on the day that I got my positive pregnancy test that my SIL is pregnant and due and week before me. It's hard to keep the secret when she is telling everyone and they are happy for her.

kayladawn91 · October 2014

Everyone feels differently about this. I am personally waiting until at least 10 weeks, but probably 14 to tell anybody. But some people tell their immediate families earlier and some even announce it to the world earlier than I am. Some wait longer. It really just depends on your comfort level, how close you are to your family, etc.

It is hard for me to not tell people too, especially when everyone around me seems to be pregnant and telling the world. My sister is actively trying and we all know so if she gets pregnant and announces before me I'll be DYING to tell people. I would personally rather wait until I'm out of the my first tri. But again, everyone's different.

opheliacantswim · October 2014

We told immediate family (our parents and siblings) pretty much as soon as we had the BFP. I also told my two best friends. I felt safe doing it, because if we suffered a loss, I would want our close family and my dearest friends to know--my loved ones not knowing would feel worse than having to tell them.

On the other hand, everyone else (friends, work, extended family) has to wait until around Thanksgiving. I will be ten weeks at my first appointment November 20. Assuming all goes well there, we will probably announce shortly after that (in terms of my boss, Facebook, etc).

dojo1 · October 2014

It's very individual. If my SIL told everyone and she was due a week before me, I might wait a bit anyway because this is my second and I would want to give her the spot light for a bit before announcing. That's all situation specific though. Some SILs will want a lot of attention to themselves and would resent if you told right after, while others would be overjoyed to be pregnant at the same time.

delujm0 · October 2014

My EDD is 6/25 so second tri would start at Christmastime...since we live far from our families and will be home for Christmas we're going to try really hard to wait to tell them in person.

We definitely won't tell anyone until after the first scan (11/11) no matter what. ..my husband won't even think this is real until he can see the baby I think!

holliberry28 · October 2014

I want to tell everyone just because I can't keep secrets and hate surprises, but after my CP, I'm scared that the moment I tell people, I'll have a loss. I know it's pretty ridiculous to think that way, but I told H and my sister and they don't feel like they can get excited because they're not sure I'm really pregnant. It's frustrating to explain to them that yes, right now, I am.

Question: How do you determine whether you go for your first scan? I know some go as early as 6 weeks but others wait til 8-9? Aside from what the OB says, are there any other factors?

delujm0 · October 2014

@holly628‌ it depends on your history and your doctor...this is my first pregnancy after trying for 4 months, and my only medical issue was a dermoid cyst and some fibroid that I had surgically removed 2 years ago (they should have been a one time thing) so the doctor won't see me until around 8 weeks.

For some people who are high risk, had trouble conceiving, or have had multiple losses, doctors usually will want to see them earlier. Having one CP when you're first TTC is pretty common and not generally cause for alarm, so your doctor may decide to wait until the 8 week mark. If you go in earlier you'll just have to go back again to make sure everything is progressing normally around 8-10 weeks. Depending on your insurance, some of that may be out of pocket, so unless you feel like something is wrong I'd suggest just going in whenever your doctor thinks is appropriate.

The wait for the 8 week mark is really hard! Good luck!

dkleid · October 2014

We were going to tell our parents on the 27th after my 1st U/S, but my FIL and his new wife will be out of the country so now we cant. We then go away the follow week for our anniversary so we are going to wait till the week of Thanksgiving. This way our parents will all be in town and we will be able to tell them in person. I will be 12 weeks the week of Thanksgiving so what we are planning on doing is telling our family and other "VIP's" the week of our anniversary (the 12th) telling work the following week, and then announcing it on facebook after that.

My sister knows because she is pregnant as well and I wanted to have someone to go to to ask questions. Luckily for her she doesnt have any morning sickness so one of my good friends also knows, who has been dealing with morning sickness her whole pregnancy and she is due next month.

megj2013 · October 2014

With DD we told close family a few days after we found out. This time around, only our parents know so far. We might tell my sister if our appt. goes well on Monday (we're moving near her in a few weeks, so she'd find out soon anyways), and probably more close family on Thanksgiving. It's been a lot harder for us to get excited to tell people this time around b/c of our loss in June

Schnurette · October 2014

Like pp's have said, you have to do what you are comfortable with.

Our best friends are pregnant and due not quite a month before us. They have told pretty much everyone, we are keeping it under our hats for now. They had a loss just a few months ago and she found it really helpful to talk to other people about it, whereas I would not, I would just want to deal with it within our little family unit.

tinybride717 · October 2014

We decided to tell our nearest and dearest as soon as I got good results from my repeat beta. Our logic is that, if I were to MC, we'd really want the support from the people we love most. Some of my coworkers figured it out, since I've had some bouts of dry heaving and races to the bathroom - but I won't officially tell work/HR until I'm solidly in my second trimester. We're planning to tell extended family at Thanksgiving, since that will be right about week 12. We had issues with IF, and I was diagnosed with PCOS, so it's silly, but I just want it to be recognized that we were actually able to conceive. Ultimately, it's all about what feels best for you

eburgmama · October 2014

I've told my Mom, BFF and SIL. Once we see a heartbeat at our 8 week u/s we will tell the in laws (DH's choice). Still trying to decide when we will tell the kids- my DD is dying for a baby brother or sister so I am very excited to tell her. I dont mind telling early, I have always felt the more people preying for you, the better. However, it is awkward to have to tell people you ended up miscarrying so I am only telling people who I wont mind telling that I miscarried.

hilgspritch · October 2014

First timer here!

So far, I've told my 2 yoga teachers and my 5 besties. And their husbands. Lol. We had a framily beach weekend (at 5 weeks) and it would have been so obvious/awkward for me to forgo a beach beer or toasting champs without letting the cat out of the bag! But they were all very happy for us and understood my cautious excitement.

After my first appointment at 8 weeks (Nov. 3), we will have our parents and siblings over for dinner and deliver our special announcement! Since my "announcement" at the beach was kind of lackluster, I'm really looking forward to do something fun for our families.

As far as the general public (aka social media), I'm not going to worry about it too much until Christmastime.

hetucker · October 2014

With my first pregnancy, we told everyone pretty much as soon as we found out. This time we have decided to wait until Thanksgiving due to the fact I now have a thyroid condition and have a high chance of miscarriage.

BostonGayGal · October 2014

Last ime around we told family before the pee stick dried. THey had known that we'd had lots of iu's and had started ivf.

This time, the reason we are waiting is because un-telling a toddler would be awful. If I were to tell her she's going to be a big sister and then something happened, she'd be confused and it would be miserable. I'm 39 so I'm eligible to take the diagnostic blood test after 10 weeks. I'm hoping to announce when we get those results, with any luck just before or at Thanksgiving.

But the secret is killing me. I am sooooo sick this time and I'd love to be able to explain why I'm not up for anything of late.

BylerMama · October 2014

We are in a tricky situation as well with deciding when to spill the beans. My SIL miscarried about 3 weeks before we found out about this pregnancy. We are trying to wait until November (maybe Thanksgiving) because she and her husband were cleared by her doctor to start trying again in November. I miscarried twice before my first daughter and I was devastated when others announced pregnancies soon after. I was happy for people, and I know she will be happy for us, but I know it will still be difficult.

Stormy61 · October 2014

We have been telling our immediate family and best friends because everyone knows we have been trying for over a year and this is our first pregnancy. I would want their support if there was a loss as well. I'm not sure when we will tell others - but definitely not till after my first Dr Appt at 9 weeks.

mandi921vh · October 2014

Everyone is very different when it comes to this. H and I are extremely close to our families and this secret has been extremely hard to keep! My family lives in the same town as us and we see them a few times a week. H's family lives 6 hours away and we don't see them very often, but H talks to his mom a few times a week. We want to tell everyone in person so we are waiting until thanksgiving when H's family is here to tell everyone. By then I will be 13 weeks.

prettysfgirl · October 2014

Because we suffered a miscarriage (@ 7 weeks) with our last (technically my first pregnancy) we are just telling people as it happens. When I MC I needed a ton of support and it turned out that all the people we were waiting to tell, we told anyway. We are waiting to tell our siblings and DH's parents until after the first ultrasound at eight weeks. We are waiting to make it Facebook official until Thanksgiving. The suspense is killing me!

JenniferG26 · October 2014

This is our first pregnancy, so since we were so excited, we told family right away. I've also told a couple very close friends, but we are waiting until December to officially announce. We have a wedding to attend this evening, so I'm kind of anxious that people will notice I'm not drinking.. And I'm a horrible liar so my plan is to have a virgin cocktail and just pretend to be tipsy so nobody will question me. Fingers crossed!!

aramirez1018 · October 2014

After finding out I was pregnant, I immediately understood how hard this news will be to keep to ourselves! I wanted to tell everyone because I was so excited! But after calming down a bit, we only told our parents and our siblings. If anything were to happen, these are the people I would feel comfortable talking to anyway and honestly, I would want/need their support. That was my reasoning for telling them right away.

We will probably wait until the 2nd trimester (around December) to tell other family members and friends. That feels like the right time for us. I know everyone does it differently! It's definitely fun and exciting to spread the news!

jpearson15 · October 2014

It's ultimately up to what you're comfortable with.
This is our first baby and we're 5 weeks along. So far we've told family and a couple close friends but probably will announce it to everyone in a week or two. There is no way we'll be able to wait until the 2nd trimester and honestly, I want to celebrate this little one's life with everyone ASAP. If, God forbid, something were to happen, we don't want to suffer the loss alone. I'd rather have the love and support of my family, friends, church, etc than suffer in silence. Plus having the prayers and advice from everyone at this stage of pregnancy is valuable to us.

Ladymouse · October 2014

A lot of people know because I was at a camping event and puking my guts out, so not a closely guarded secret (I let the woman who was cooking know beforehand so she wouldn't be insulted by my pickiness, and I let a woman with a bunch of kids know so she wouldn't worry for her kids with my dry heaving.) DH let it slip at work, so that's basically everyone we know locally. I'll tell the general population after we hear a heartbeat.

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