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November 2014 Moms
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Military mamas & others separated from their SO's

meeshybeemeeshybee member
in November 2014 Moms

I talked about DH's new job in the Wednesday and Thursday random threads but essentially he is being relocated (alone) 14 hours away and has to be there by the 27th. It's a take it or leave it kind of thing and for our family he pretty much HAS to take it. My EDD is 11/2 so the timing supremely sucks.

Anyway, we have 10 days not only to get him packed and any house/yard stuff done, but also to prep our other 3 kids (they are 9, 7, and 4) for Daddy being gone for quite a while. He'll be close enough that he may be able to come home on long weekends, those will be few and far between. We're not anticipating any real amount of vacation for him until his 6 mo training period there is up and before he gets transferred to his 18 mo location overseas.

We need to get a webcam set up so we can Skype with him, but what else can we do for the kids? I've been on Pinterest half the day looking for ideas. I really like the idea of making a video of him reading a bedtime story that the kids can watch whenever they want. Also thinking about getting those photo pillowcases done so the kids can snuggle him when they need to.

Did I mention DS has ASD? Yeah... so there's that.

Holy crap this is gonna be hard!

_____________________________________________
Married 6/16/01
Eeney 7/24/05
Meeney 3/23/07
Miney 9/15/10
Mo 11/4/14 
Wait, What?!? - EDD 11/1/19
Mothers get 1 day off

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Re: Military mamas & others separated from their SO's

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  • smboswell1smboswell1 member
    Hugs! I don't know how military mamas do it. Parker is 2 hours away and I'm freaking out! You are so strong. Skype is a good way to communicate. My sister is in china and won't be here for the birth, so we are going to FaceTime her!
    Baby "H" due November 7
    Fur mommy to Layla
    June 25, 2012image
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  • TC0514TC0514 member
    I have no experience with this- however I think the recordable books is a great idea! Big hugs and prayers for you and the family. I can't imagine what your going through. Will he be able to come for the birth?
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  • kayd8kayd8 member
    I've not been through this as a parent, but grew up with it.  Now having things like Skype is great being able to see each other!  But I think it could be nice to do some of the things we used to do, like send care packages.  My mom always baked cookies and sent other goodies that he couldn't get.  I'm guessing he won't be in a remote/isolated area, but the sentiment still applies.  And the kids can help and maybe make some art to send.  Mail printed pictures of you guys and the baby.  With flat rate boxes, it wouldn't be too expensive to do every month or two.  And on the flip side, he can send cards or trinkets back home.  I like the idea of everyone having something physical to hold and think about, not just stuff on a phone/computer.

    It won't always be easy, but I commend you for being strong and supportive!
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  • hellosweety18hellosweety18 member
    edited October 2014
    I was going to say the same thing about the recorded books! My mom had had my grandparents make a few and my 7 year old sister listens to it all the time and they are right next door! They also gave one to my son and he loves to "read" it too :)
    He is only 19 mo. but he think it's great.
    P.s. You are so strong! Best of luck to you and your family!!!
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  • lovingaddilovingaddi member
    No experience but I was also going to suggest recordable books. Sending lots of hugs your way!
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  • meeshybeemeeshybee member
    TC0514 said:
    I have no experience with this- however I think the recordable books is a great idea! Big hugs and prayers for you and the family. I can't imagine what your going through. Will he be able to come for the birth?
    @TC0514 - If she is not here by the time he leaves, he will probably not meet her until his first chance to come home. Maybe Thanksgiving? We don't know many details until his official orders come in next week.
    _____________________________________________
    Married 6/16/01
    Eeney 7/24/05
    Meeney 3/23/07
    Miney 9/15/10
    Mo 11/4/14 
    Wait, What?!? - EDD 11/1/19
    Mothers get 1 day off

    Report Reply
  • MillerBabyOneMillerBabyOne member
    My husband and I are both military, and while Im expecting my first now.. I understand how hard it is to be away from family during deployments and such. He should be allowed to take emergency leave to come home for the birth- I'd remind him to talk to his first sergeant about this. As always with the military-there are some situations where you just get kind of screwed... But maybe he'll be lucky and his supervision will work with him.
    This is my first baby, but knowing how hard it is to be separated from kids (which I will be come February) here are some ideas:
    - recordable books
    - build-a-bears with a recording
    - pillows with the pictures on them
    Also, I know communication over Skype/FaceTime isn't the same- but a lot of remote tours/short tours are in areas where Internet is available. Lastly, in case you didn't know you can send mail APO to APO free or MPS way cheaper- so it would be easy to send gifts from another base and wouldn't cost too too much.
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  • kayd8kayd8 member
    meeshybee said:

    @kayd8 - I was a Navy brat and DH was an AF brat so both of us have been through our dads being deployed. There's just so much more available now. And this was so sudden. At least with our dads we had a lot more warning.


    That's good that you are both familiar with this, and by extension your parents and in-laws.  It's wonderful that you have both close for support since (I'm guessing) you aren't living near a bunch of other people in similar situations.  For all the times my dad was deployed, or else my parents being stationed in different states, having good support from friends/family made such a difference!
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  • meeshybeemeeshybee member
    edited October 2014
    @WildFlower810- The email addresses for the older kids is a fantastic idea. It can be a special way to talk to Daddy. DS's teacher just sent us a note the other day that we need to do journaling with him to work on his writing skills. You are a genius!
    _____________________________________________
    Married 6/16/01
    Eeney 7/24/05
    Meeney 3/23/07
    Miney 9/15/10
    Mo 11/4/14 
    Wait, What?!? - EDD 11/1/19
    Mothers get 1 day off

    Report Reply
  • anlicsceaduanlicsceadu member
    Y'all will be in my thoughts and prayers! Separation is so hard. My husband has been Air Force going on about 6 years. He hasn't been deployed yet but training has taken him away for months at a time. In fact he leaves for a month long training again not even a week after the baby's due date (we're hoping she's early or on time otherwise he won't get to meet her till December). Will your husband at least get to come visit for holidays? That could be some much needed relief that military doesn't normally get during deployments. But still it's so hard. I agree with the book idea, so wonderful and keeps the kids connected to daddy. Like I said y'all will be in our thoughts and prayers. I hope the separation flies by!
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  • MillerBabyOneMillerBabyOne member
    You're absolutely right with your comment "they own his body but not his soul". Even as a dod employee it seems like the government can control your life. I wish you all the best and hope the transition goes smoothly!
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