Leaving baby for vacation? Can I do it??

mrsmrkim223 · October 2014

My husband and I really need some quality time. We have a great offer for a cruise when baby is almost 6 mos old. But when I think if leaving LO I get sick to my stomach. We would be gone 9 days. Ughhh has anyone already been through this? How did you deal? And should we even go? She is only 3 mos now will it be easier when the time comes 3 mos from now??

littlemissmarla · October 2014

9 days seems like a really long time to be away, IMHO. Are there any cruises that are more like 3-4 days if you really need to get away. Who would be caring for LO and do you think they could realistically handle your baby for that length of time?

reils500 · October 2014

Everyone is different. DS1 is 2.5 years. The longest I've been away is 5 days. I think 5 days is my max. DH & I will be leaving the boys for 4-5 days in March for a wedding.
Who would be watching your LO?

shortstack930 · October 2014

I definitely couldn't. Could you find a shorter cruise? Or, I know it's a hassle to travel with an infant, but most cruises have daycare I believe so could you bring her along and leave her in daycare while you guys have some quality time? I don't know that I'd feel comfortable leaving LO with someone for 9 days.

Nichole8787 · October 2014

That is a big no for me. I couldn't do it. I'd be way more comfortable with a long weekend.

ashleymarie1027 · October 2014

Everybody incorporates baby into their lives in their own way, and you've got to figure out what makes your family happiest. I know for us, we really enjoy traveling and are planning a special trip next summer.

We have an opportunity to go to Denmark with a friend (who's Danish and has a condo for us to stay in Copenhagen); LO will be a year old. If we go, it will probably 7-9 days and LO will stay with grandparents. I will probably plan some days off work (if it's not a weekend) after we get back to just spend with the LO.

I'm not sure I could do this at six months - it just seems not that long from now! But like I said, everyone's family is different.

INmommy871278 · October 2014

Like PPs nine days would be too long for me. I have left DD twice, once was just for a few hours and the other time was over night when she was two months old to go out for our anniversary. We were 30 minutes away and I bawled my eyes out when we got back to the hotel room after dinner. My parents had the kids both times and I still lost it.

I left DS when he was 4 months old for the first time and didn't have the same reaction, but he was and still is a very independent child. He never wanted to be held or cuddled like DD does so I think that made a big difference in how I felt.

Do you have a way to leave LO for a night or two as a test run to see how you would feel?

cookiemomma14 · October 2014

There is no way I could for 9 days, especially since I breastfeed and wouldn't want to pump all that. I don't know your situation. Honestly it seems pointless for you to ask. You know you're baby and your situation. To each their own.

abundancenow · October 2014

I went away for 5 days when ds was 14 months and missed my son, but it was great. MIL cared for him and we had a live video set up to watch him online. He dud great and it was a good break. 9 days would be too long for me and if the thought is making you sick, its probably not a good idea.

livkight · October 2014

I couldn't do it-- bfing and pumping issues aside, I'd worry whoever I left her with wouldn't be as in tune with her needs/routines as I am. But I cried when I left DD with my parents for a few hours while DH and I ran errands. So clearly I have attachment issues!

ADC1979 · October 2014

I don't think I could do it. When I was home 24/7 I would have said YES PLEASE AND THANK YOU, but now that I'm back to work...I just couldn't. I miss him during the day. I may not currently appreciate our 3am feedings, but I know I would miss them if we didn't do them.

I've been thinking if DH and I take a vacation anytime in the next year or two, to make it a cruise since they do offer childcare. Or plan something where it's not too difficult to take a baby along on. I think I'd probably be able to more easily take a vacation without LO when he's older, like maybe 3 years or so. Peace of mind is what it is for me.

Jordanjkmr · October 2014

If you have someone who you know will love and cuddle baby to pieces while you are gone, go, go, go! Like you said, you and your husband need some quality time and that is a relationship you want to keep strong! You'll miss baby like crazy but that probably won't change even if LO was older.

This is coming from a mom who has an awesome sister in law that I know spoils my kids like crazy when they go there. I know that makes all the difference!

mamaloaf · October 2014

9 days is a really long time, especially for both parents to be gone. I personally wouldn't do that. I agree that you two scheduling a quick trip, like a 4 day cruise, sounds better.

That being said, I'm leaving town for 4 days when LO turns 4 months and while I'll miss her, I'm also looking forward to it. She'll be at home with her father and my mother-in-law, so it'll all be ok. I'm sure she won't even notice I'm gone.

Ekg688 · October 2014

I agree with all PP. The biggest thing that stands out in my mind is the logistical nightmare if, god forbid, something happened and you needed to rush home. If you were on a "normal vacation" (ie. Beach), you could just jump in the car/flight and be home.
I haven't been on a cruise in YEARS but I remember we couldn't use our phones (roaming/international rates) and we had to pay for the internet (which was horribly slow). I'm sure thats not the case now, but I'd make sure you're able to contact whomever would be taking care of LO whenever you needed to.

Artistmom30 · October 2014

Personally, I couldn't do it. It would be too hard. LO is EBF and it would be a pain to pump that whole time. Plus, I'd be a hot, sobbing mess. With DD, we didn't leave her for a few days until she was 20 months, and I missed her like crazy.

If you guys really want some time away, try just a few, 3 or 4, but I would be close enough so you could get home relatively easily, if need be. And you're already anxious about it. Do you think you'd feel up to being away for your LO that long, in 3 months? If you're having panic attacks about it already, I'd say no, you're not.

[Deleted User] · October 2014

It definitely depends on your comfort level. My oldest is nearly 4 and the only time I've been away from him overnight is when I was in the hospital having the baby. But that's just because we haven't really had the chance to go away. Even still I would struggle with 9 days away now with him, let alone the baby. It would be much easier but I think being on a cruise and not being able to get home right away in an emergency would personally give me anxiety. My sister and BIL won a free trip to the Bahamas when my niece was 6 months old. She was formula fed and STTN by 6 weeks so I think that helped my sister to feel more comfortable leaving her with my mom for a week. They had a nice vacation and my mom enjoyed the bonding time so ultimately it comes down to how you and LO's caretaker feel!

jamboree jess · October 2014

I'll be away for a weekend in November for an anime convention and I'm really worried about it

I'd say 9 days is a bit long, but if you're comfortable with it go for it!

EllaSmella · October 2014

I think it depends on why you and DH need this quality time. If your marriage is on the rocks and this is necessary to get things back on track - do it. If you're tired and need a break from the baby, I would think a long weekend would suffice.

You should also consider who you are leaving LO with. DS didn't sleep through the night until he was a year old and I didn't feel it was fair to leave him with anyone for more than one night if he wasn't consistently sleeping through the night. Nine days for someone who is not used to an infant is a long time, especially if they're not getting a full night's sleep.

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