UO

lrobi13 · October 2014

Well ladies, do we have any UO for today?

lrobi13 · October 2014

I hate it when someone tells me how lucky I am to be off of work. I have found that taking care of this baby is ever bit as hard as work if not harder (some days). While I love not having to get dressed being at the beck and call of an infant is no joke! Probably not an UO but at the moment that is all I have

pnwlover12 · October 2014

I have one.

I don't want to be buried. I find the whole process awful and to be an expensive burden on family. Dh already knows to have me cremated and not to hang on to my ashes. I should really get a will done.

*disclaimer* It doesn't bother me that other people choose this. It's just not for me.

lrobi13 · October 2014

I think being buried is a waste of space and looking a dead people is wierd to me. I am all about being cremated too! And don't keep me on your mantel or shelf, spread me out and be done with it.

lrobi13 · October 2014

FamousEa said:

I hate it when someone tells me how lucky I am to be off of work. I have found that taking care of this baby is ever bit as hard as work if not harder (some days). While I love not having to get dressed being at the beck and call of an infant is no joke! Probably not an UO but at the moment that is all I have
The struggle is real. Before I became a SAHM when I had time off after DD2 people would always say" must be nice to not have to work" Right. I have absolutely NOTHING to do. I'm not being pooped on or thrown up on. I'm not eating while standing, holding the baby and brushing crumbs from her head and I'm not peeing while holding my infant or worse waiting until Someone gets home so I can take a shit. Yep so nice to be out of work ::eye roll smiley:: don't get me wrong I love love love being a mom but some people need to STFU.

Amen to the bolded! I was rocking lo this morning and telling him how he needed to go to sleep so I could go poop! Thankfully he complied!

pnwlover12 · October 2014

TicketTuesday said:
On the same topic of burial (I think) I don't really understand why someone wouldn't want to be an organ donor? I hope that's not offensive, feel free to enlighten me if it is.

This!!! I will happily donate any useable organs I have. Take it all, if it can help someone else. I'll be dead, won't miss them.

MollyC20 · October 2014

FamousEa said:

TicketTuesday said:
On the same topic of burial (I think) I don't really understand why someone wouldn't want to be an organ donor? I hope that's not offensive, feel free to enlighten me if it is.

I'm an organ donor, if there is anything that in me that could help someone else I'm cool with that. I'm dead so I don't need a kidney but if a teenager or another adult needed it then they could have it. I don't judge people who aren't organ donors I just like the idea of it since I won't be using them anymore.

Ditto. I'm an organ donor and I've already told DH to donate everything they can use.

ETA: donor not diner

windwithfingers · October 2014

pnwlover12 said:
I have one.

I don't want to be buried. I find the whole process awful and to be an expensive burden on family. Dh already knows to have me cremated and not to hang on to my ashes. I should really get a will done.

*disclaimer* It doesn't bother me that other people choose this. It's just not for me.

I don't want to be buried either. The embalming process really freaks me out.

And as someone who has a box of ashes that were once DH in my bedroom, I absolutely cannot bear the idea of spreading him somewhere. It's all I have left.

Liss1481 · October 2014

pnwlover12 said:

I have one. I don't want to be buried. I find the whole process awful and to be an expensive burden on family. Dh already knows to have me cremated and not to hang on to my ashes. I should really get a will done. *disclaimer* It doesn't bother me that other people choose this. It's just not for me.

I think the whole embalming, wake, etc is creepy and wasteful. I either want to be cremated and have my ashes spread or do one of the natural burials where there's no embalming, expensive casket, or wake. You're just buried in a cardboard casket in a plot in the woods or a meadow

bumpuser10309732 · October 2014

Kaylajade8911 said:

Take all my organs!

I think it sucks that some hospitals don't allow the baby to go to the nursery and require rooming in. I had been up for 28 hours by the time I got to my PP room. I was so sore that I needed help from DH or the nurses to change positions in the bed or get our of bed to use the bathroom. I was up all day with baby the first day and unable to nap due to too many interruptions and too much pain.

Sunny went to the nursery the first PP night for 3 hours and that was the only 3 hours I slept for the first 50 hours. We would never have gotten through that first 2 days without that.
I guess it's my UO that personally i dont like the idea of my baby going into the nursery in the hospital. With DS1 i didnt let him out of my sight. No judgement on others using them! I just don't want them away from me that soon.

I didn't see the point of the nursery. I guess DH could've gotten more sleep and that may have been selfish of me but they were checking on me pretty much every hour taking my vitals and stuff so for me it was pointless from that stand point.

bumpuser10309732 · October 2014

Liss1481 said:

pnwlover12 said:

I have one. I don't want to be buried. I find the whole process awful and to be an expensive burden on family. Dh already knows to have me cremated and not to hang on to my ashes. I should really get a will done. *disclaimer* It doesn't bother me that other people choose this. It's just not for me.

I think the whole embalming, wake, etc is creepy and wasteful. I either want to be cremated and have my ashes spread or do one of the natural burials where there's no embalming, expensive casket, or wake. You're just buried in a cardboard casket in a plot in the woods or a meadow

I don't want to be buried either. I also find the whole wake process to be a little morbid and I hate remembering someone I love so much that way. It's literally the only thing I can think about forever after the person passes away. When my grandfather passed away last sept (2013) my grandma was trying to decide what to do and I told her I didn't want to remember him in that way and I'd prefer she kept the casket closed. She ended up doing that to save us grandkids from remembering that image.

bumpuser10309732 · October 2014

Kaylajade8911 said:

@MrsBabe614 I was left alone with DS pretty much all day in the hospital. He slept pretty well but I still didn't sleep a wink. After 30 ish hours . I was too wired and wanted to just look at him to make sure he was ok.

I'm glad I'm not the only one that did that. A couple times I asked DH if she was still breathing. I'm such a spaz!

staryb · October 2014

kfitzguerra said:

pnwlover12 said:

I have one.

I don't want to be buried. I find the whole process awful and to be an expensive burden on family. Dh already knows to have me cremated and not to hang on to my ashes. I should really get a will done.

*disclaimer* It doesn't bother me that other people choose this. It's just not for me.

I'm the exact opposite. I can't fathom being cremated. My father was cremated and I honestly couldn't even touch the box afterwards. The whole process and end result makes me shudder. I'd rather be buried.

To each their own...if DH wanted to be cremated, then that's fine. But I would have to do something with his ashes and not keep them.

I really hate the idea of being cremated! My dad was cremated too and while it doesn't bother me to have is ashes around the idea that his body was burned really upsets me for some reason. I used to be all for cremation but after my dad I just get this terrible image in my head of his body burning and it made me feel like I lost him twice if that makes any sense. I wish I had a grave to visit, ashes just aren't the same.

I have told DH that I'm not comfortable with either of us being cremated. He is very understanding of it.

I do agree, however, that spending a lot of money on a burial is crazy but I don't know if there's any getting around it for me.

lrobi13 · October 2014

I sent lo to the nursery because I was so tired and bein hooked up to the iv mare picking him up so hard. But I cried when theyes took him and was a nervous wreck until they brought him back the first time. However, the rest was much needed.

Dani0329 · October 2014

DH and I were disappointed during our class when they said, "we discourage using the nursery." Then went on to laugh and say no one would request to use it anyway. Our plan was to use it that first night to recover from the excitement of the day and give ourselves a chance to recharge before we go home without a nursery or sleep.

It made me feel like a bad Mom already, but I feel like after delivering and hours without sleep I will be no good to anyone. Hoping adrenaline keeps me going.

Jennifer18131 · October 2014

I originally wanted to donate my body to science and just have a memorial service. But H says that he will need the full ceremony and will need to see my body in a casket to have full closure. So, instead of donating my body to science I'll just donate my organs if I go first.

angeltennis3 · October 2014

TicketTuesday said:
On the same topic of burial (I think) I don't really understand why someone wouldn't want to be an organ donor? I hope that's not offensive, feel free to enlighten me if it is.

Agree completely. My uncle received a heart transplant about a year ago. Without it, his five grandchildren wouldn't be able to grow up knowing their grandpa.

MorganWP · October 2014

I'd rather be cremated as well. And also have my organs donated. I'm not sure about what to have done with my ashes. That can be left up to family.

** infant loss mentioned in the next part **
Speaking of keeping ashes, my auntie and uncle's first son died when he was a month old due to some complications he had. (They were expecting it but it was still hard) Anyway, they had him cremated and they have his ashes in an urn in their bedroom. Whenever they go away somewhere they get one of their really close friends to 'take care of him' because my uncle is incredibly paranoid that in the case of a break in, the urn would get damaged or stolen.

MollyC20 · October 2014

crawford411 said:
Take all my organs!

I think it sucks that some hospitals don't allow the baby to go to the nursery and require rooming in. I had been up for 28 hours by the time I got to my PP room. I was so sore that I needed help from DH or the nurses to change positions in the bed or get our of bed to use the bathroom. I was up all day with baby the first day and unable to nap due to too many interruptions and too much pain.

Sunny went to the nursery the first PP night for 3 hours and that was the only 3 hours I slept for the first 50 hours. We would never have gotten through that first 2 days without that.

I agree. I think hospitals being more baby friendly is great, but our hospital doesn't even staff the nursery anymore!

With DD one friend who had kids told my husband "good advice I got -- send baby to nursery. Y'all will both need good rest and she'll be in good hands"

But on the other hand, with DD when they brought the baby in to BF at 3am the nurse brought THE WRONG BABY! True story. It was a boy thank goodness or I probably would have fed the kid and went back to bed.

lrobi13 · October 2014

MollyC20 said:

Take all my organs!

I think it sucks that some hospitals don't allow the baby to go to the nursery and require rooming in. I had been up for 28 hours by the time I got to my PP room. I was so sore that I needed help from DH or the nurses to change positions in the bed or get our of bed to use the bathroom. I was up all day with baby the first day and unable to nap due to too many interruptions and too much pain.

Sunny went to the nursery the first PP night for 3 hours and that was the only 3 hours I slept for the first 50 hours. We would never have gotten through that first 2 days without that.
I agree. I think hospitals being more baby friendly is great, but our hospital doesn't even staff the nursery anymore! With DD one friend who had kids told my husband "good advice I got -- send baby to nursery. Y'all will both need good rest and she'll be in good hands" But on the other hand, with DD when they brought the baby in to BF at 3am the nurse brought THE WRONG BABY! True story. It was a boy thank goodness or I probably would have fed the kid and went back to bed.

Ahh, that is awful!!

MorganWP · October 2014

Our hospital is one of those that doesnt have a nursery. They do, but its mostly for if the baby needs extra care. Kinda like a stepping stone before going to the NICU. They're very baby friendly but I kind of wish they did have one because the first night with both my babies was pretty rough. My SO walked my daughter around the ward for two hours while she cried off and on and I slept. I'm sure the other patients really enjoyed that but it was only thing that kept her semi-calm.

trisharenee0316 · October 2014

The wrong baby?!?! My goodness, I'm glad I'm probably the only black person delivering at my hospital (just like I was last time--predominately Asian town) so my kid will be pretty obvious.

I also used the nursery the first time. After not sleeping for more than 4 hours (non consecutively) in almost 3 days, it was well needed because I was almost hallucinating. I like the idea of baby friendly maternity wards, but ultimately to be truly baby friendly, they have to be mama friendly too. Mama is the one who is the primary caregiver at that point and she should be well cared for. That means being somewhat flexible for different situations. Though I'm sure I'm preaching to the choir here.

archi35 · October 2014

Kaylajade8911 said:

I have one. I don't want to be buried. I find the whole process awful and to be an expensive burden on family. Dh already knows to have me cremated and not to hang on to my ashes. I should really get a will done. *disclaimer* It doesn't bother me that other people choose this. It's just not for me.
Totally agree. I think burials are harder for those left behind. I don't like the idea of me being in a specific place. I'm not there anymore, I don't want people seeing a grave as me. Memories are enough.

This for me too plus I think its an incredible waste of money and physical space to bury a body. Though it doesn't bother me that other people choose it, I just think its wasteful much like expensive jeans and 10K purses

golfingdarwinfish · October 2014

TicketTuesday said:
On the same topic of burial (I think) I don't really understand why someone wouldn't want to be an organ donor? I hope that's not offensive, feel free to enlighten me if it is.

Completely agree. One of my best friends died of cystic fibrosis while waiting for her second set of lungs. The first set have her an additional
5 years where she was was able to finish college, start a company, and get married. Much better use of a set of lungs than putting them in the ground or burning them.

Dani0329 · October 2014

Kaylajade8911 said:

Dani0329 said:
DH and I were disappointed during our class when they said, "we discourage using the nursery." Then went on to laugh and say no one would request to use it anyway. Our plan was to use it that first night to recover from the excitement of the day and give ourselves a chance to recharge before we go home without a nursery or sleep.

It made me feel like a bad Mom already, but I feel like after delivering and hours without sleep I will be no good to anyone. Hoping adrenaline keeps me going.
You shouldn't feel like a bad mom. It's whatever works for you. I didn't sleep at all anyway. I am just paranoid. But rest is very Important after such a big thing as birth.

@Kaylajade8911‌ Thanks, helps to hear my logic wasn't completely selfish.

pnwlover12 · October 2014

starla487 said:

TicketTuesday said:

On the same topic of burial (I think) I don't really understand why someone wouldn't want to be an organ donor? I hope that's not offensive, feel free to enlighten me if it is.

Purely a tin-foil hat, grassy knoll, theory, but someone once told me that if you sign up for organ donation and come into an ER on the edge of life or death, you'll have less of a chance of the staff working hard to revive you because your organs would be of value. Apparently some people are that scared.

That said, I'm still an organ donor... though, I'm not sure if anyone would want some 30+ year diabetes aged kidneys. (Science donation has also crossed my mind.)

I don't believe that. ER nurses and doctors do everything they can to preserve life. They only call the donor team once time of death has been called. Or if they know the person is gone (severe head trauma, etc.)

MollyC20 · October 2014

lrobi13 said:

MollyC20 said:

Take all my organs!

I think it sucks that some hospitals don't allow the baby to go to the nursery and require rooming in. I had been up for 28 hours by the time I got to my PP room. I was so sore that I needed help from DH or the nurses to change positions in the bed or get our of bed to use the bathroom. I was up all day with baby the first day and unable to nap due to too many interruptions and too much pain.

Sunny went to the nursery the first PP night for 3 hours and that was the only 3 hours I slept for the first 50 hours. We would never have gotten through that first 2 days without that.

I agree. I think hospitals being more baby friendly is great, but our hospital doesn't even staff the nursery anymore!

With DD one friend who had kids told my husband "good advice I got -- send baby to nursery. Y'all will both need good rest and she'll be in good hands"

But on the other hand, with DD when they brought the baby in to BF at 3am the nurse brought THE WRONG BABY! True story. It was a boy thank goodness or I probably would have fed the kid and went back to bed.

Ahh, that is awful!!

Yeah I didn't tell DH about this until this year because he would have flipped the fuck out!!!

golfingdarwinfish · October 2014

dorothyzbornak97 said:

pnwlover12 said:

I have one.

I don't want to be buried. I find the whole process awful and to be an expensive burden on family. Dh already knows to have me cremated and not to hang on to my ashes. I should really get a will done.

*disclaimer* It doesn't bother me that other people choose this. It's just not for me.

Agree 100%. I want to be cremated and want my ashes spread in the ocean.

Also, FFTC: I could not tell you the last time I visited my mother's grave. It's been years. I just prefer to remember her as she was alive, and look at photos, than to visit a plot of land and a gravestone. Her death also significantly colors my opinion on this, as her burial was a financial burden that hit my family hard at the time, and I would never want that for my family.

All that said, to each their own, as I try to not judge how others grieve/handle loss.

We also let the nurse take our baby to the nursery for a few hours. He would not stop screaming, no matter what we did, and I was hooked up to all kinds of monitors and the IV and such and really struggling. Of course, with my luck, I still didn't get much sleep because the magnesium I was on made me so itchy. But, at least my H got a little rest.

FFTC:

Shane spent last night in the nursery (12am - 930am), and will likely do the same tonight. He was sleeping so peacefully this morning that they forgot to bring him to me! I also sent DH home last night, and will do the same tonight because he has to finish getting things ready for LO and I also want him to sleep peacefully one last time.

asarem93 · October 2014

Nursery:
I have an irrational fear of the hospital giving me the wrong baby. I am delivering at a birth center where the baby never leaves my side, but if I were in the hospital I wouldn't let them take him. Although, I do understand being a break and do not judge anyone who uses the nursery.

Cremation:
I am a donor and have a plan for the rest of my body. They will take EVERYTHING they can. Organs, skin, hair, eyes, anything that can be of use. Then they will take the rest of me and cremate it and plant coral in my ashes. It's used to regrow the reefs! I want my body to do as much good as possible.

bennikki · October 2014

DS1 was born at 9 pm after being in labor for over 24 hours. Once we had he and I cleaned up and fed, the nurse said, we'll take him to the nursery, you've had a big day, and we'll bring him in when he's hungry. DS slept from 11 pm to 7 am that first night (he was over 9 lbs), and it was glorious! I felt guilty at first, but the nurses were like, we love to rock and hold these new ones all night, and these nights may be your last of peaceful sleep.

Our hospital has the wrist bands for mom, dad, and baby, so on top of the lullaby that plays when they bring you your child, they also double check and scan the ID bands before handing you the baby, so I was not worried about my baby getting lost. Also, we're rural, so a busy night in L&D is like 4 babies, usually it's 2.

I want to be cremated mostly because I don't like the idea of my body sitting in the ground. DH wants to be burried, so our plan is to have him burried with a headstone that includes both of us. I guess he can take my ashes with him if I go first, if I'm the last to go, do with my ashes however you see fit will be my instructions to my family.

On organ donation, they can take anything that will help anyone including using them for experimentation. I had a former co-worker whose brother was "brain dead" do to some sort of accident. They were told he was an organ donor according to his license, so the hospital asked if they could take his eyes. The family was told it was not going to go to a person but would be used for scientific purposes, and the family refused to let them take the eyes. That just seems wrong to me.

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