Is DD bored?

DCKate · October 2014

So, the throwing/hitting out of frustration/meltdown loveliness has finally happened upon our house. I think we are so startled because even with her occasional moments of going bonkers for no reason, she's a pretty laid back kid.

She also seems bored lately. I'm wondering if part of her new frustrations are happening because of that? Trust me, she gets angry because I won't let her drive my car or pull the wine out of the fridge to play with. Some of this is definitely a toddler tantrum.

But we just moved into our new (and much bigger) place, and she has her own playroom in our den. We bought her a toy kitchen, put away baby toys, and I think she has lots in there to keep her busy. We also read a lot and go to the park, library, indoor play yards, errands, etc.

I know we've had threads about what your day looks like, but I would love to hear some of your ideas and go-tos again!

littleheaven · October 2014

not a sahm mom, but when she was transitioning between the infant and toddler room is when she did the most biting....when they took her out of the infant room permanently, she stopped....

she randomly hits now, but it's purely out of frustration-mostly because we're holding her and she wants to get down (i have a nice little scratch on my face from that....) but she seems to have been dealing with the terrible 2's for a while now....or if she's like really tired, but that goes a long with frustration...if we can distract her with something we will...unfortunately it's usually a movie or tv or something.....

wish i had better advice though...

ReeceFamily · October 2014

You can't engage with her all of the time, but do you sit down and get her engaged with her toys, etc. before leaving her to play on her own (if she's not easily playing on her own already, that is)? I know that DD is sometimes sort of aimless/listless and not sure how to play, and I'll get her going and then leave her be once she seems engaged.

On the other hand, a little boredom now and then won't hurt. I listened to a really interesting podcast that said children have two basic developmental needs: engagement/connection, and freedom/space. The most popular child-rearing philosophies right now tend to emphasize the need for engagement/connection and downplay a child's need for freedom/space (and learning how to deal with it). Not really directly related to your question, but I thought it was interesting and something I've been trying to keep in mind.

spainy17 · October 2014

Yeah, I try and balance engaged time with solo play because I feel like they have to learn to entertain themselves a little bit too but I understand that this isn't always easy.

I work but off days look like this...

Up, crib/room play

Breakfast, play in play room. I watch news and eat my breakfast and then we play together.

Upstairs to get dressed. If I can get her engaged in some self-play in her room I usually try and bathe, dress, put makeup while she keeps herself busy. Most days this works but some days are harder.

Run errands or go to the park.

Back home for lunch then nap

After nap we do snack and light play then outside or activity (play dough, art projects, library, visit friends). We always try and get outside every day.

Home to make dinner. Again this is when I try and get her playing my herself. Water play on the deck works, a little TV time with her sticker books out or play dough, etc.

After dinner we do quiet play in playroom then move upstairs for play in her room. Wind down, bath, books, bed.

this decaf life · October 2014

DD wakes up at like 7 AM. Eats breakfast and spends like 3 hours playing with her friends, I work in the morning so all the yayas get together and have the kids run around. I think they've been spending a lot of time in this clubhouse that has a big open space so they just run a lot, there aren't any actual toys inside the clubhouse. They play with a water table at least a couple times a week.

Then she comes back and eats lunch around 1130 and naps at 12-130. Wakes up, has some fruit and then maybe some coloring and outside time. All the kids usually go outside in this grassy field from about 4-5, there are usually 7 kids, a couple strollers & 2 toy cars to play with.

She usually spends 5-6 PM locked in the kitchen with me, I have her help stir whatever I'm making for dinner but her toy kitchen is in the big kitchen so she usually just plays by herself or tries to climb in the pantry to get snacks. We eat dinner at 545-6, quick bath and is usually in bed at 630 PM.

On the weekends we spend most of our time out of the house. Going to the farmers market, out to brunch, walking around the mall, grocery shopping, Kindermusik class. She has a toy workbench in her room that sometimes one of us will just take a book in so we can read while she plays by herself. Or we'll see if one of her friends wants to come over and play.

DD has never bit anyone, just a little pushing but she's crazy smart about it in that you almost can't tell why the other kid toppled over. She doesn't just run up and push them she gets really close like she's going to hug and then slowly elbows the kid until they move or topple over.

I can't wait until we're back in the DC area so we can get on the metro and go to museums or walk to a library! I think it would be a lot more difficult if DD didn't spend so much time with her little baby friends. The range in age from about 1 year to 2.5 years old so it's been good because the older boys already go to "school" in the early mornings and I think help keep the younger ones in line. DD starts school in January and we're so excited, she'll go from 830-1130 in the morning.

DCKate · October 2014

this decaf life said:
DD wakes up at like 7 AM. Eats breakfast and spends like 3 hours playing with her friends, I work in the morning so all the yayas get together and have the kids run around. I think they've been spending a lot of time in this clubhouse that has a big open space so they just run a lot, there aren't any actual toys inside the clubhouse. They play with a water table at least a couple times a week.

Then she comes back and eats lunch around 1130 and naps at 12-130. Wakes up, has some fruit and then maybe some coloring and outside time. All the kids usually go outside in this grassy field from about 4-5, there are usually 7 kids, a couple strollers & 2 toy cars to play with.

She usually spends 5-6 PM locked in the kitchen with me, I have her help stir whatever I'm making for dinner but her toy kitchen is in the big kitchen so she usually just plays by herself or tries to climb in the pantry to get snacks. We eat dinner at 545-6, quick bath and is usually in bed at 630 PM.

On the weekends we spend most of our time out of the house. Going to the farmers market, out to brunch, walking around the mall, grocery shopping, Kindermusik class. She has a toy workbench in her room that sometimes one of us will just take a book in so we can read while she plays by herself. Or we'll see if one of her friends wants to come over and play.

DD has never bit anyone, just a little pushing but she's crazy smart about it in that you almost can't tell why the other kid toppled over. She doesn't just run up and push them she gets really close like she's going to hug and then slowly elbows the kid until they move or topple over.

I can't wait until we're back in the DC area so we can get on the metro and go to museums or walk to a library! I think it would be a lot more difficult if DD didn't spend so much time with her little baby friends. The range in age from about 1 year to 2.5 years old so it's been good because the older boys already go to "school" in the early mornings and I think help keep the younger ones in line. DD starts school in January and we're so excited, she'll go from 830-1130 in the morning.

Soooooo jealous you will be back in DC!!!

ConstanceGoodspeed · October 2014

Just tell her that only boring people are bored!

I started having DS help me more around the house, which makes chores take longer but without fail after he sweeps or puts the clothes in the washer for a little while, he wanders off and plays by himself. I don't know if he sees that what I'm doing isn't that fun, or if it inspires him to go push his trucks but it works for us.

DCKate · October 2014

MichieU79 said:
Have you tried toy rotation to ease some of the boredom? It's less toys per week, but "new" toys every week as well.

I honestly have no clue if that could be part of the issue with the acting out. It could also be partly the move or maybe just her age. We relly are reaching that "golden age" now. Yikes.

Our days consist of:

8:30-9:00-wake, dress and breakfast.

10:00-Either one of his 2 classes, an errand like food shopping or a trip to the park next. Snack on the go.

12:30-Home for lunch

1:00Play together in his room for about 30 minutes before nap.

1:30-4:30-nap

4:30-milk and snack, walk the dog together, a little tv, then free time playing downstairs while I get things together for dinner.

6:30-dinner

7:00-TV for 30 minutes while I clean up.

7:30-8:00-playtime together in his room.

8:00-8:30-bath, pjs, books and bed with Daddy

On days where I don't feel like going out...which typically happens once a week, I do feel like he can get a bit bored in the am playing downstairs...I tend to let him play alone while I clean. He gets a little clingy...and if that happens, I'll engage him and direct play, then go back to what I was doing. I too feel like a little boredom is good for them. It encourages imagination.

I know there was an earlier thread about this, but will you walk me through your toy rotation?

spainy17 · October 2014

MichieU79 said:

I rotate his bedroom toys with 2 bins...I change those toys every other week. Those are quiet toys only...nothing electronic in there as this is where we settle down before bed.
I rotate play area toys every week. I have 4 bins total (enough for 5 but one bin is always out). I numbered the bins 1-4 and rotate in order.
Each bins has toys from every category in the website below.
It really has improved his concentration and it is helping me see which toys he gravitates towards and which he doesn't. In Novemebr I am going to start emptying the bins of toys he no longer plays with to make room for Christmas/birthday toys. It's really a great system. Especially for this age. And, since he gets "new" toys every week, he stays entertained longer and plays with more of a variety of toys each week. Here are 2 websites I used to help me...I took bits and pieces from both and left what I knew wouldn't work for us, like cataloging toys. No way was I doing that! Lol.
https://playfullearning.net/2013/09/childs-play-the-art-of-toy-rotation/.

https://intelligentnest.com/2012/10/11/toy-rotation-step-by-step-guide/

@DCKate - this is what we do too!!!

DCKate · October 2014

spainy17 said:

MichieU79 said:

I rotate his bedroom toys with 2 bins...I change those toys every other week. Those are quiet toys only...nothing electronic in there as this is where we settle down before bed.

I rotate play area toys every week. I have 4 bins total (enough for 5 but one bin is always out). I numbered the bins 1-4 and rotate in order.

Each bins has toys from every category in the website below.

It really has improved his concentration and it is helping me see which toys he gravitates towards and which he doesn't. In Novemebr I am going to start emptying the bins of toys he no longer plays with to make room for Christmas/birthday toys. It's really a great system. Especially for this age. And, since he gets "new" toys every week, he stays entertained longer and plays with more of a variety of toys each week.
Here are 2 websites I used to help me...I took bits and pieces from both and left what I knew wouldn't work for us, like cataloging toys. No way was I doing that! Lol.

https://playfullearning.net/2013/09/childs-play-the-art-of-toy-rotation/.

https://intelligentnest.com/2012/10/11/toy-rotation-step-by-step-guide/

@DCKate - this is what we do too!!!

Thank you, ladies!!!

Chappy_jr · October 2014

I LOVE looking at other people's daily routines/schedules for some strange reason, but I'll refrain from posting our own.

But I do want to comment on the original post and point out that if you recently moved to a new place, then that is probably a new emotional experience, one that DS doesn't have words or a frame of reference for and so hitting and biting may be a way of expressing her displeasure or just weirdness about the change. I would suggest to be patient but firm: reiterating that that is unacceptable behavior BUT playing up the excitement of "our new house" and DS's "new toys".

It is developmentally appropriate to have toddlers do "chores" (our DS throws away every diaper, "wipes" up spills, "checks the mail", and puts his napkins in the trash, for example). If there is a "chore" that she can have at the new place it might help her take ownership (an important part of their developing sense of self right now) of the home.

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