Am I being a crazy FTM?

Roses87 · October 2014

So My mom is suppose to watch DD coming up one of these weekends during the day. Well she is a HS teacher and their football team made it to some play offs and they are playing downtown at the NFL stadium. Anyways the game is the day she is suppose to watch DD. Today she asked if I minded if she took DD with her downtown to a stadium. #1 downtown IMO is not the safest place. # 2 its going to be noisy. #3 it will be nap time while she is there and she is not the best sleeper (very light and hard to get to sleep in public) When she asked me I smile and nodded and was like oh let me talk to Matt about it first, we will see. In my head I was like "Uhhhh, no". But I know she is going to be totally piss when I tell her no, and also we will have to look into a different sitter option for that day. When I brought it up to DH, (I just mentioned it to him without sharing my thoughts) He was like "no, what do you think?" and I was like "the same"...

Thoughts? Feel free to flame if I need it ; ) Thank you ladies!

I also want to add, I do trust my mom. I just don't think it would be a good enviroment for DD.

somewierd_person · October 2014

I'm with you for the napping and environment reasons, I would just reschedule with your mom soon.

SandFHasse · October 2014

I would say no. I might be crazy, but DD is 2 and I wouldn't want her to go either.

Roses87 · October 2014

@somewierd_person My mom sees her all the time. But she would just view this as me not trusting her and will get all offended.

jhjocelyn · October 2014

I wouldn't be cool with that either, I would use the "It's cold and flu season and that's a lot of unneccesary exposure" excuse. I use that a lot though, most people are terrified of exposing dd so it works great for us.

worleygirl · October 2014

STM here and I wouldn't be ok with it. I'm strict with naps. I'm also pretty weird about germs during flu season.

precious72381 · October 2014

I think if you aren't comfortable with the idea then that is your answer!!

I don't think I would be okay with it either. But my reasons are that I'm a control freak and want to take Abby every where new or anywhere I am not sure how it would go. So I would have to take her first to see how comfortable I was with anyone else taking her. I trust most family with her but I have extreme anxiety issues and control issues. But that is a whole different post.

NenaMarie84 · October 2014

Go with your gut. If you wouldn't be comfortable with her being there then your mom should understand that. I'm a stickler for naps too so I doubt I'd want her to go either.

mommabird77 · October 2014

We really try not to mess with nap time. It messes up their whole day. Viv loves being out places and seeing things, so that wouldn't bother me, but not being able to nap would. Also, if your mom is a teacher, you know all the teenage girls will be all over your baby with their germs. So, I would say no.

Roses87 · October 2014

Thanks ladies for your thoughts. Yeah she won't be going downtown. I talked to my sil and she agreed to watch her that day. My brother said he wouldn't let my mom take his 3 yr old down there and my mom takes her to many places. So now I just need to figure out how to say no without her getting pissed.

umma4babes · October 2014

STM here... First off, no your concerns are not crazy. That said, I am not super strict with nap times or places that DD can go (within reason, obvs) because we have a 4 year old DS and we pretty much follow his school/activity schedules at this point... So DD naps whenever/wherever at this point... We have been to a sports game before and did the best we could with sanitizing gel and ear covers like these - https://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B004ZMRDDQ?pc_redir=1412270290&robot_redir=1

Regardless, you need to go with your gut and let no one question your judgment call. As far as your mother's feelings, I hate to say this but you'll just have to let her deal with it. There will be SO MANY instances in the future where your judgment will be questioned by others, and you might as well let her get used to the idea that it's your child, your rules.

3JTMom · October 2014

I can understand your reservations about letting your mom take her. It is different when they are older. Can you let your mom know that you would rather not? Just tell her another day would work and you worked something out so she could enjoy the game. Can you let her know that you appreciate her willingness to take your DD, but you will be glad to change the days? Sometimes when we word things gracefully, people accept them better. You are a great mom, you think through these things with your DH, you are doing a great job. Hugs!

J&L4Him

Rebis58 · October 2014

I don't think it's crazy for you not to want LO to go to the game, I probably wouldn't either. I think honesty is the best route here with talking to your mom. Just tell her your reasons for feeling uncomfortable (naptime, noise, safety issues in the area, exposure to flu). I would focus on it being outside factors out of her control that concern you, not her, and reinforce that you trust her.

If you want, you can kind of laugh at yourself and be self deprecating, make a joke about being a FTM or having mom anxiety (although I don't think this is necessary, just something you can do if you're worried your mom will take it personally and you want to make it more about you than her to avoid that).

ChuggingWater · October 2014

esd said:
Honestly, it wouldn't bother me. We've taken the kids to crowded football games before and they've been fine. And it's a high school game. Much diffenrent type of crowd vs an NFL game.

This.

Roses87 · October 2014

Thanks ladies. I spoke to her. She didn't seem mad to my face. Maybe she was expecting me to say no. I told her I made other arrangements so she could still go support her school. She said she would watch her in the morning then they would go to the game from my house. My sil could take the afternoon. I think this works better because now one person doesn't have her all day.

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