Am I mean?

daystardreams · October 2014

There is a family in our neighborhood and I commented the other day on the family's names and everybody said that I was being mean. I thought maybe I'd get an opinion from you guys. I'm not sure on spellings here but the mother's name is Shanna (Shan-uh). She has two daughters named Shonna (Shawn-uh) and Anna. She also has a son named Shane. All three of her children pretty much just have her name with a few letters changed, added or subtracted, right? This is tacky and strange, am I right?

[Deleted User] · October 2014

The user and all related content has been deleted.

Ladymouse · October 2014

Tacky and strange, but not something you say to people/mutual friends. The bad choices were already made.

ChelsiAnn13 · October 2014

It is odd and some could call it tacky. Others may like it. The ladies on thei form can be mean. That's a fact. You guys go over board because you have a particular passion about names being a certain way. It's an online form. That's fine. But if I met someone who did what you girls do In real life I would call it mean. Remember there are many other groups online who have completely different tastes as you and would think your nuts. You see ladies come on this board all the time that are taken aback by your passion and comments.
It is what it is.

portiafizzel · October 2014

@ChelsiAnn13‌ I hope you're ready for the impending sh*t storm coming your way. These ladies don't take criticism like that well.

conradraging · October 2014

ChelsiAnn13 said:
It is odd and some could call it tacky. Others may like it. The ladies on thei form can be mean. That's a fact. You guys go over board because you have a particular passion about names being a certain way. It's an online form. That's fine. But if I met someone who did what you girls do In real life I would call it mean. Remember there are many other groups online who have completely different tastes as you and would think your nuts. You see ladies come on this board all the time that are taken aback by your passion and comments.
It is what it is.

There's also a huge difference between giving opinions on potential names to those who come here and ask what people think, and making comments about a person's children who are already born and named.

And just because you're butthurt that people gave you criticism on names when you asked a public forum what they think, doesn't make everyone on this board mean. You get what you ask for. Differing opinions. If youre looking for everyone to pat you on the back and barf up rainbows and sunshine over every name you come up with, this is not the place for you.

Edited for spelling

[Deleted User] · October 2014

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PhilsWife07 · October 2014

Definitely tacky and strange.

DaisyZH · October 2014

It is definitely odd. More than all being variations of her name I feel like the names are so close I'd be stumbling over them all the time.

capulet · October 2014

It's definitely odd and I would side-eye it, but I probably wouldn't say anything in real life to mutual friends/acquaintances unless I knew them very well.

femmepink · October 2014

ChelsiAnn13 said:

It is odd and some could call it tacky. Others may like it. The ladies on thei form can be mean. That's a fact. You guys go over board because you have a particular passion about names being a certain way. It's an online form. That's fine. But if I met someone who did what you girls do In real life I would call it mean. Remember there are many other groups online who have completely different tastes as you and would think your nuts. You see ladies come on this board all the time that are taken aback by your passion and comments. It is what it is.

My nuts taste like what?

4N6s · October 2014

The names are quite terrible but I wouldn't say anything to her face... No point. The kids are already named.

ChelsiAnn13 · October 2014

conradraging said:

ChelsiAnn13 said:
It is odd and some could call it tacky. Others may like it. The ladies on thei form can be mean. That's a fact. You guys go over board because you have a particular passion about names being a certain way. It's an online form. That's fine. But if I met someone who did what you girls do In real life I would call it mean. Remember there are many other groups online who have completely different tastes as you and would think your nuts. You see ladies come on this board all the time that are taken aback by your passion and comments.
It is what it is.
There's also a huge difference between giving opinions on potential names to those who come here and ask what people think, and making comments about a person's children who are already born and named.

And just because you're butthurt that people gave you criticism on names when you asked a public forum what they think, doesn't make everyone on this board mean. You get what you ask for. Differing opinions. If youre looking for everyone to pat you on the back and barf up rainbows and sunshine over every name you come up with, this is not the place for you.

Edited for spelling

It's funny. You give criticism but can't take it. Sad. I don't have a problem with the way you guys criticize here. It's an online forum. Would I ask your opinions and even tell people not to apologize when they have said names like Fallon were terrible. No.

Facts are facts. One of the first comments, I believe, was that it's not quite acceptable to say what is usually said here to aquatinces out in the real world. And certainly not to a named child (which I wasn't even touching on).

The only one getting butt hurt right now may be you and who ever called the OP mean.

ChelsiAnn13 · October 2014

mermomo5 said:
Ouch, that hurt.. Honesty is the best policy. Should they say they like a name, if they don't?

I agree honesty is the best policy. But sometimes not saying anything is the best option unless you know the people well enough that they won't take it the wrong way.

Edit: some people are more blunt though and if that's how you are then it's probably already accepted. It's personal choice I suppose.

daystardreams · October 2014

I'm not saying anything to her face or talking to the other neighbors or anything. I just mentioned that it was strange and my boyfriend and roommate said that they didn't think it was weird. I tried to explain that the names are all very similar and they just couldn't see it...

ChelsiAnn13 · October 2014

femmepink said:

ChelsiAnn13 said:

It is odd and some could call it tacky. Others may like it. The ladies on thei form can be mean. That's a fact. You guys go over board because you have a particular passion about names being a certain way. It's an online form. That's fine. But if I met someone who did what you girls do In real life I would call it mean. Remember there are many other groups online who have completely different tastes as you and would think your nuts. You see ladies come on this board all the time that are taken aback by your passion and comments.
It is what it is.

My nuts taste like what?

Lmao! Sorry I'm on my phone and make typos A LOT on this thing.
You're *

ChelsiAnn13 · October 2014

Also I want to say I said what I said also from experience. I have a very hard time find girl names, as you guys could see from my other posts. When I was pregnant with my daughter I couldn't think of anything so her dad started to throw suggestions out and he likes different names and throwing in those Ys. And at the time I didn't see a reason to change what he suggested. And the comments I got made me cry and doubt every name choice either of us came up with for a long time. They weren't even my names or names I truly loved and I was very hurt. Of course my hormones didn't help.

That said I learned a lot and you helped my see why I shouldn't accept the random weird letters her father kept suggesting. But even now that I agree with the general consensus on this board about names I still see some posts while just browsing that make me cringe because I still feel they come across as mean or at least a little harsh. But this is an online forum and maybe we could all use some thicker skin. Just wanted to put one of the reasons I posted what I did. Hopefully this will stop anyone else from feeling I was attacking this board.

Unknown · October 2014

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CogDis · October 2014

Sure it is strange but it is totally mean and not ever ok to make a comment on names that are already given. Did someone ask your opinion? Yikes!

PhilsWife07 · October 2014

daystardreams said:

I'm not saying anything to her face or talking to the other neighbors or anything. I just mentioned that it was strange and my boyfriend and roommate said that they didn't think it was weird. I tried to explain that the names are all very similar and they just couldn't see it...

In that case, no harm no foul. Obviously, they have bad taste in names if they don't see the obvious weirdness. You may need to re-evaluate that boyfriend.

Dr.Loretta · October 2014

Tacky? Not necessarily

Strange? Somewhat

Are you mean? No

There may be a reason she chose to give her kids those names, there may be a family tradition, etc. It wouldn't even occur to me to comment on it.

DH has relatives (B&G) named Christine and Christopher. One of them named a child Christian. If anything, it makes me think they're not terribly creative when it comes to names, LOL

BunnyBerry · October 2014

dreadpiratebuttercup said:

It's definitely strange, and a bit narcissistic.

I would think a whole lot of this and some more about a mother who chose those names for her kids. But, I wouldn't say anything to her...what's done is done and those are little people now! But I'd definitely come here and share because it's funny in that painful way.

Beevol · October 2014

Different strokes for different folks. Lots of cultures think it's important that all children have aspects of their parents' names as part of their names - I've even seen folks on this board do that. I come from a culture that views juniors or naming a baby after a living person in any way as super tacky and a little creepy, but most people don't come from my culture, so I'm not going to think they're weird or even side-eye them (even if I do have to first suppress my heebie-jeebies).

That being said, even if she named her kids something truly bizarre, they're already named and it's rude to make unflattering comments about people in public, even if they're true. You wouldn't stand around talking about how all of her kids are ugly so you shouldn't stand around talking about how her kids have stupid names. It's only mean if you were making fun of her for naming her kids something stupid and trying to get others to do the same. Wondering about it out loud or making on off the cuff comment about how you think it's stupid, is more of a momentary lapse in civility.

We all say rude things and end up with our foot in our mouth sometimes. You live, learn, apologize, and move on.

erinms · October 2014

I would totally talk about names with my boyfriend, (DH in this case!) or sister/mom/BFF. That doesn't seem mean. The names are super similar, and I would notice it too. Obviously talking about her to neighbors/mutual acquaintances or being rude to her face are mean. But a side-eye comment to DH seems pretty normal.

Also, I always try to comment kindly but completely honestly on here. Sometimes honesty involves telling someone (if they are asking!!!) that their name choice is straight up terrible. That's why you go online with your names- people IRL won't always tell you the truth. Except my MIL- she'll tell you it's terrible.

DawnJM25 · October 2014

It depends on how you said it. If it was a nonchalant comment about names being similar, maybe that family is a bit on the sensitive side? But if you said it in a critical way, maybe they have a point. Personally I only discuss baby names with a really good friend who feels the same way I do about youneek and cre8ive spellings and my DH. The topic of baby names isn't in the same league as politics or religion, but still something I typically stay away from in everyday conversation.

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