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Custody arrangement

Doubletrouble12Doubletrouble12 member
in Blended Families
Just curious for those with school-aged kids, what is your custody arrangement like?
We share custody- one week with BM, one week with us. SD has had some ongoing behavior issues at school. Someone mentioned
that some kids start having trouble switching back and forth when they are in school.  I'm just curious what other families do. 
Thanks!
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Re: Custody arrangement

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    sergeantb44sergeantb44 member
    We have them 2 evenings a week but they go home at 8 and every other weekend. I am not sure if it is the switching back and forth or if it is simply begin acting out...my stepkids behave much better with me but act completely different when their dad is around..to point i often have to give myself a breather..it's hard to tell him that but he saw it this am..
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    AstrabacusAstrabacus member
    My LO isn't of school age yet, but he will be staying with us pretty much full time once he does, since we live in a different country than my XSM (who is the person I share custody with), and as I'm the one with guardianship (though hopefully by that time I will have adopted him) he will be going to school over here.

    Currently, he does two weeks here, and two weeks with my XSM. He goes to Förskola here and Nursery in the UK (both the same as Pre-K), and he seems to be fine. He doesn't act up or anything, and just your average 3 year old really!
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    cole2144cole2144 member
    We have 50/50.Our schedule is week 1, one parent gets sun, mon,tues, fri, sat overnights and the other parent gets wed, and thurs overnight. The following week it switches. SD is in kindergarten.
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    dmndsr4evadmndsr4eva member
    My son isn't in school yet and most likely his dad will have EOWE because we live in different cities.  But my coworker has 50/50 and from what she says it works out well for them.  Their schedule is M&T with mother W&T with father and Fri-Sun is shared every other week.
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    hopankahopanka member
    I like the two days on, two days off. But, that may be because we are like a 2 min walk from each other. If there was a commute, it probably wouldn't work.
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    ImJessesGirlImJessesGirl member
    Just jumping in here.... thought I'd share our arrangements.

    My dd's father is active duty military so our arrangement changes every four years or so, lol.

    Currently, he is stationed an 8 hour's drive from us. Therefore, my DD sees him one weekend per month and every other holiday and the entire summer, minus two weeks of my choice. We meet halfway.
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    katie_cjkatie_cj member
    I have primary custody of my son. His dad sees him every other weekend and every other holiday. We live three hours away from each other, so it would be impossible to have another arrangement.
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    ImJessesGirlImJessesGirl member
    katie_cj said:
    I have primary custody of my son. His dad sees him every other weekend and every other holiday. We live three hours away from each other, so it would be impossible to have another arrangement.
    Same here!!! I have primary custody. My XH used to live four hours away and would see DD every other weekend and every other holiday as well.
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    +just+j++just+j+ member

    I have primary. My XH has EOWE. He lives 30 minutes away in a small town outside of the city that DD and I live in.   Our DD is 4. We will continue with this arrangement when she starts school in the fall because he feels he does not live close enough to DD's school to see her more and actively share the responsibilities of getting her to school or daycare.

    I have told him if he wants more time with DD he can have it, but it probably won't happen until we live closer. IF that ever happens. It's his choice. I'm not moving closer to him to make it more convenient for him. 

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    Sunday924Sunday924 member
    We have my SS EO Friday- Wednesday morning. He is in 1st grade and has no problems with it. One time he got on the bus when I was supposed to pick him up but that is the one and only problem we have had. He is well behaved and has no issue with switching. This has been his life since he was a few months old so it's all he knows....maybe that's why it's so easy?
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    nattyncbridenattyncbride member
    I just want to say thanks for everyone that replied b/c I am curious as well.  DS is 4, and we won't start school until 2015.  We do Mon-Tues me, Wedn-Thurs dad and switch weekends.  When we separated 2.5 years ago, we said we would go to week on/week off when school started b/c it seemed 'that's what people did'.  However, he's doing great with the schedule we have, so it's nice to see an array of schedules that seem to work for each family. We live about 3mi apart, so it's also not a big deal. Thanks again everyone!
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    stokesm21stokesm21 member
    I need to read up on the abbreviations lol!  BM has sole custody, we have SS EOW.  Surely not enough in my eyes and she is very reluctant to share holiday's or even let us keep him the extra day on long weekends.  

    I am seeking to change that.     
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    circe811circe811 member
    SD lives an hour away with BM so it's not possible for her to stay with us during the school year.  During the school year we do EOW and breaks/holidays. During the summer we split 50/50.
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    Amee12Amee12 member
    We have SS tues@5-fri@5. DH and I are pushing for 1 week on 1 week off switching fridays after school. BM refuses to switch because she doesn't want to take him to school that many days. He goes to school in our district, she moves A LOT and her newest BF lives 10 mins from us and school. SS started kindergarten this year
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    ambrvanambrvan member
    Amee12 said:

    We have SS tues@5-fri@5. DH and I are pushing for 1 week on 1 week off switching fridays after school. BM refuses to switch because she doesn't want to take him to school that many days. He goes to school in our district, she moves A LOT and her newest BF lives 10 mins from us and school. SS started kindergarten this year

    That's not really fair at all that y'all don't have any weekend time. I would be wanting to change that, too.
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    Amee12Amee12 member
    ambrvan said:

    Amee12 said:

    We have SS tues@5-fri@5. DH and I are pushing for 1 week on 1 week off switching fridays after school. BM refuses to switch because she doesn't want to take him to school that many days. He goes to school in our district, she moves A LOT and her newest BF lives 10 mins from us and school. SS started kindergarten this year

    That's not really fair at all that y'all don't have any weekend time. I would be wanting to change that, too.
    Exactly our thoughts!! And with a baby on the way we would like to be able to plan family activities with both boys and not have to "ask permission" each time.

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    stokesm21stokesm21 member
    We have SS every second weekend and it is not enough.  Not by a long shot.  And we live in the same town!  Also, my DH works a lot of weekends so that arrangement doesn't necessarily work out for us all the time.  I have been discussing with my DH to go for 9 off (her) and 5 on (us) that way he's here a few days during the week as well so that he can actually see my DH and spend time together.  

    We would never go for full or even joint custody because I know it wouldn't be in the best interests of my SS (he has siblings, we are currently child-less) but I also see how he has no structure in his life at home and feel he could really benefit from living with us more.       
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