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Working Moms
MommyAtty
member
Odd nwmr etiquette question
MommyAtty
member
I have an old boss who retired several years ago. We have stayed very close, and he's my "substitute father" in a lot of ways. He's not married and is childless. When he had a heart attack, DH and I arranged food delivery and people to visit him, and I flew from Texas to Virginia to check up on him when he got out of the hospital. We don't see each other often since he moved to Idaho from the DC area a couple of years ago, but we call and email and Facebook. I adore this man. He's also loaded. I only mention that part because of what comes next.
When DD was born, he mentioned that he wanted to start a college fund for her. When DS was born, he said the same thing. We said thank you and figured he had put $20 in each account and would add $10 or so for birthdays and such. Well, he moved recently and he moved the new accounts to a new bank that sent us the statements. There's almost $1000 in DD's account and $500 in DS's. I have no idea what to do or say. Thank you seems so lame. "Holy shit, that's too generous" seems ungracious. I am at a total loss. I cried when I saw the statements. We don't need the money, but it meant so much that my kids have someone out there who loves them so much when he isn't obligated to. Especially considering my own family isn't close to me. My mother and brother have never even bothered to meet my kids. Literally, I have one cousin (out of 27 just on my mom's side) who met my daughter but even she still hasn't seen my son. This gesture meant the world to me. So what do I say or do?
When DD was born, he mentioned that he wanted to start a college fund for her. When DS was born, he said the same thing. We said thank you and figured he had put $20 in each account and would add $10 or so for birthdays and such. Well, he moved recently and he moved the new accounts to a new bank that sent us the statements. There's almost $1000 in DD's account and $500 in DS's. I have no idea what to do or say. Thank you seems so lame. "Holy shit, that's too generous" seems ungracious. I am at a total loss. I cried when I saw the statements. We don't need the money, but it meant so much that my kids have someone out there who loves them so much when he isn't obligated to. Especially considering my own family isn't close to me. My mother and brother have never even bothered to meet my kids. Literally, I have one cousin (out of 27 just on my mom's side) who met my daughter but even she still hasn't seen my son. This gesture meant the world to me. So what do I say or do?
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Re: Odd nwmr etiquette question
I have no idea what the 'right' thing to do is, but I would probably go with a heartfelt letter saying most of what you said above. It is very sweet and I would think that anyone that went to that much trouble would like to hear it.
I am sorry about your family; I can't even imagine. I am glad that you are able to overcome all of that and find others that care.
BFP 1- EDD 2/09/11 Missed MC DX @11 weeks D&C- 7/25/10 BFP 2- EDD 12/22/11 Natural MC @ 5w 2d BFP 3- EDD 1/25/12 DD Josephine born 1/16/12
BFP 1- EDD 2/09/11 Missed MC DX @11 weeks D&C- 7/25/10 BFP 2- EDD 12/22/11 Natural MC @ 5w 2d BFP 3- EDD 1/25/12 DD Josephine born 1/16/12
If not, I would just continue keeping in touch and if you exchange holiday cards, write a sincere and thoughtful message demonstrating your general appreciation of him and your relationship.
I don't know, if he has as much money as you say he does, it probably doesn't seem as extreme as it does to you. I don't want to take anything away from his generosity, but he may think it is weird that you out of the blue make a big deal about 1500 bucks.
I am going to assume he knows you are getting the statements because I would think he would have to sign off on it. However, I doubt he expects you to thank him any differently than what you are already doing.
But if you really want to send a thank you then send a heart filled note and let him know how much the gesture means. I am sure he will appreciate it!