Second and Third Trimester Discussion (10/13)

footprint · October 2014

Hey, ladies. This is second and third trimester discussion -- discuss away!!! Feel free to ask anything or to answer anything that anyone has ask -- it's a free-for-all of knowledge and education! If you have a question that you would prefer not to have associated with your SN, please feel free to pm me and I will post it, as I have no shame. If you have suggestions for this post, let me know. Would people who answered last week like to be tagged from week to week?

KMW08 · October 2014

I'm ok without being tagged, that's JMO.

Just a rant: I'm 33w4d today and am having a time with my bmb. I've never had a late loss but there's crazy ton of PTL! Nov. has had at least 1baby born every day this week. Most of the ladies are close to 35-37wks, but cue a huge omfg moment!!

Swelling question: my feet have been fairly swollen for a few days, it doesn't go into my legs and resting them elevated helps some. I know I'm a bit dehydrated due to my cold, should I focus on drinking more water or break down & try compression stockings out?

HorseLover11 · October 2014

@KMW08‌ I would drink tons of water and if the stockings can help why not try and see. I hope your cold goes away soon!!

dragonfly1809 · October 2014

@KMW08‌ Definitely keep up with water, but the sock are awesome - they help, but also relieve the pressure in your feet. They feel fantastic! You'll be so much more comfortable with them (though you'll probably need help getting them on

)

I'm terrified of pre term labour. :S

dragonfly1809 · October 2014

Hmm, like @KMW08‌ I'm really fearing PTL.. I actually find the final weeks harder than the first trimester for fear of losing baby. I was the same with Finn.
I'm so invested now. Thoughts of something going wrong are so overwhelming now ... It's making me crazy.
I have 13 more weeks, with my c-section planned for 37 weeks. Longest 13 weeks ever, I think.. and even then there are no guarantees.
I don't know how to calm the paranoia.

:S

Eliz77 · October 2014

My question was going to be about swelling too...I went to my sister's wedding this weekend and after delays, plane needing something fixed fixed, a pilot change and a two hour trip home, my feet and fingers swelled. I saw my o/b yesterday who wasn't concerned and BP was normal, said to try to take it easy and drink a lot of water. I'm on my feet most of the day, so will see what happened. Baby is breech at 31 weeks. I'm assuming there's still plenty of room/time to flip, right? The U/s tech kept saying how cramped things are in there so of course later when I had time to dwell, I got worried...

footprint · October 2014

@Linden25 I know some women who's feet did go back to normal size after pregnancy and some women's who stayed larger. I went back to my normal size after my first. I am 22 weeks and already starting to have swelling issues. I swell up overnight no matter how hydrated I am and wake up with really swollen hands. I spend the morning drinking water (and then spend forever peeing) but am usually back to normal by noon.

@KMW08 and @dragonfly1890 PTL is quickly becoming a fear of mine, too

It's already starting on the Feb 2015 board and it makes me so, so upset for these women. I think it scares me how powerless we really are.

@mmheartspb I have not experienced that. I'm sorry that you are

Elevating your hips when you lie down? What about talking to your OB or MW about Tuck's medicated hemorrhoid pads to reduce swelling on the outside? I don't know if it would burn - I have never used Tuck's but have heard about people using them to reduce swelling of the bags under their eyes. But I am not sure Tuck's are pregnancy safe, so definitely check.

Mom2anAngel2 · October 2014

@Linden25‌ - my feet "grew" a half size when I was of with DS. It really isn't growth, but more a stretching of the ligaments and falling of the arch. Mine have not gone back. I'm hoping this time I don't have that issue because I really don't want to have to buy all new shoes again.

classicstar28 · October 2014

@mmheartspb Yeah, I've got some vaginal swelling. It's mostly not uncomfortable for me or I've gotten used to it. Not totally sure. The one thing that I do differently now for it is I use those flushable wipes after using the bathroom instead of toilet paper on days that I'm feeling particularly sensitive down there. They feel a lot less harsh to me and even soothe some of the discomfort. I get the store brand, generic kind of wipes. There are fancy ones made special for ladies out there, too (like Summer's Eve and Vagisil). I don't buy those because a) they are WAY more expensive and b) I already use Vagisil daily wash in the shower for my lady parts.

@dragonfly1890 I agree that the last bit of time is really hard, too. I don't find it as hard has first tri, but I definitely can feel my anxiety ramping up every single day that she's still in there. I worry so much about something happening at this point or at birth. And then I get freaked out about all the things that could happen AFTER she is born. I've talked to my mom about it several times and she told me that I will never get to a point where I'm not worried. Thanks, Mom. But I suppose she is right. It's a HUGE emotional investment and the worry will always be there. I guess the only thing to do is figure out how to deal with it so you don't go crazy. Not sure how to do that yet, though.

About the swelling... did your fingers go back to normal? I cannot wear my wedding rings and my cheap, one size up rings don't fit anymore either. I know I can get my rings resized if need be, but I would rather just go back to my little size 6 fingers.

classicstar28 · October 2014

Oh, and also, I thought I had decided on a monitor, but now I'm not sure. We got a really nice gift card from the math department at DH's school and we are going to use some of the money to finally get a monitor. I was thinking I wanted to get a video monitor because it sounds like a good idea to be able to actually see her. However, it also seems a bit frivolous and like something we wouldn't really use. What do you think? Is a sound monitor enough or is it really worth it to get the video monitor?

KJsbabe · October 2014

classicstar28 said:
About the swelling... did your fingers go back to normal? I cannot wear my wedding rings and my cheap, one size up rings don't fit anymore either. I know I can get my rings resized if need be, but I would rather just go back to my little size 6 fingers.

My rings stoped fitting around 29 weeks with DD. They fit again a few weeks after she was born. I gained a lot of weight while pregnant, so they were still tight at first but became more comfortable as I lost the weight.

KMW08 · October 2014

@mmheartspb‌ @classicstar28‌ I had vag swelling off and on in my 2nd trimester. If it was really bothering me, I would try to sit in a cool bath and sometimes place cold rags on my vag.

Also, it made my pee feel like it was being contained. I found if I leaned forward I would have a more powerful pee stream.

songbirdsinging55 · October 2014

mmheartspb said:
Maybe tmi and I'm sorry if it is.

Vaginal swelling-anyone else have it and what have you been doing to help with it?

I can relate, I have been taking warm baths and that seems to soothe. Also it is difficult to get up when laying down because it is very sore.

dragonfly1809 · October 2014

@classicstar28‌ I hate to add to any fears about after birth, but Finn's story pretty much says it all. You can do everything "right" and babies still die. I could never have imagined he would die.
I'm not taking any chances this time. Before Finn we thought too many monitoring devices would just add to the stress and worry. I've learned that there is no such thing now.
This time we will have wifi video web cameras - that way we can link in with any device (phones, iPads, computers).. I already bought the Snuza (attaches to baby's diaper to detect breathing & movement) and I'll be using motion pads in every bassinet, crib, Moses basket.. Every possible device.

Even with all that I don't know how I'll ever close my eyes.

We will be having a slew of volunteers stay with us for the first few weeks. Somebody will always have eyes on the baby 24/7...

Finn died in the time I slept for two hours. My husband was meant to be watching him but he fell asleep. There are not enough monitors to make me feel safe this time.

I'm a wreck thinking about it. :S

songbirdsinging55 · October 2014

Sorry if mine is long. I guess it is more of a vent. So this entire pregnancy, I have been really calm and grounded. I have kept my anxiety at bay by being positive and visualizing everything but these last few weeks I have started getting anxious. I mean I am so very happy and excited for my rainbow. I feel like it has been such a long journey but the concept of labor sort of frightens me. This is kind of coming out of nowhere and offcourse people want you to hear all the horror stories. I did a hypnobirthing session yesterday and learned some techniques to help keep calm but I guess I am freaking out a little. I am working on the tracks she gave me so hopefully it will help but I wonder is anyone else worried about labor?

songbirdsinging55 · October 2014

classicstar28 said:
Oh, and also, I thought I had decided on a monitor, but now I'm not sure. We got a really nice gift card from the math department at DH's school and we are going to use some of the money to finally get a monitor. I was thinking I wanted to get a video monitor because it sounds like a good idea to be able to actually see her. However, it also seems a bit frivolous and like something we wouldn't really use. What do you think? Is a sound monitor enough or is it really worth it to get the video monitor?

I wondered the same thing but I feel like seeing your LO as opposed to just hearing them, gives peace of mind. I think it is well worth the assurance.

Mel&John2013 · October 2014

classicstar28 said:

Oh, and also, I thought I had decided on a monitor, but now I'm not sure. We got a really nice gift card from the math department at DH's school and we are going to use some of the money to finally get a monitor. I was thinking I wanted to get a video monitor because it sounds like a good idea to be able to actually see her. However, it also seems a bit frivolous and like something we wouldn't really use. What do you think? Is a sound monitor enough or is it really worth it to get the video monitor?

Loved, loved, loved my video monitor. I'm sure if I HAD to I could get by without it, but I hope I never have to! I loved looking at my little guy, especially to reassure myself in the middle of the night. It let me sneak a peak without full waking up and loosing sleep.

MoreThanSparrows08 · October 2014

For the swelling - I had it terribly with my first, and looking back, I realize it was because I wasn't drinking enough water. I never tried compression socks so I can't help there.

Never experienced vaginal swelling, but I know, at least post-partum, tucks pads were AMAZING.

I never did anything more than an old-school sound only monitor. Though I can see how I would do things differently if I were to experience a loss like dragonfly. I can't even imagine... Lots of ((hugs)) dragonfly!

As for labor - the pushing part is really not that terrible, at least in my experience. With my first, I labored for 19 hours, and the pushing was fairly easy and short. With my second, I labored for 6 hours, and only pushed for about 30 minutes. Your body just knows what to do, and you'll have a plethora of nurses there directing you on how/where to push.

My question is in regards to a small rash I have. Maybe tmi - but it's sort of under my left breast. I didn't have anything like this with any of my previous pregnancies, and this one started essentially from the get-go of this one. It's right where my under-wire is, and at first I thought it was because I bought a new bra and didn't wash it before I wore it (my other bras were completely falling apart that I didn't really have a choice). So I washed it and wore a different bra for a few days, but it didn't help. It itches a bit, but really only when I take my bra off and it's exposed to the air. It's not spreading or getting worse, but it's not going away. Any ideas? I keep meaning to ask my doc about it, but since it doesn't bother me all the time, I keep forgetting about it... darn pregnancy brain!

Also, my random for the day - a very good friend of mine who has had 3 losses and has struggled with infertility just told me she is pregnant! The month before they were due to start fertility treatments!!! I was so happy for her that I cried this morning! I'm so praying that they get to keep this LO. They're staying positive and have already ordered their crib - said they don't want to waste any time on fear (though I'm sure it's in the back of both of their minds). Words can't express how ecstatic I am for them!!!

rox825 · October 2014

@dragonfly1809 I just want to send a hug and let you know how strong you are. Seriously- if I had been through what you went through, I don't know that I'd be able to do it again. It's so great that you have so much support and will have volunteers helping you out.

@songbirdsinging55 and @mmheartspb during 1st and 2nd tri I totally avoided all thoughts of labor and childbirth because I was completely terrified and in denial. I realized toward the end of 2nd tri that I needed to face it and figure out a way to cope, and I had read lots of recs for Ina May's Guide to Childbirth. I decided to read it and am so glad that I did, between that and my childbirth class and other reading that I've done I've totally changed my perspective. It's *very* crunchy so if that might bother you there are probably other books out there that could help, but if you don't mind that (I didn't), it's overall very positive and definitely helped me.

footprint · October 2014

@mmheartspb

I didn't even think of this when i suggested the Tuck's, but there is a fabulous company called Earth Momma, Angel Baby and they sell an "under carriage" spray for after natural child-birth. It's called "Bottom Spray." I bet it would work well for pre-birth too (but check with your doctor). After a few recommendations from friends I bought some, but didn't end up needing it because I had an emergency c. I did use the EM, AB nipple balm, which was awesome.

mandi195 · October 2014

classicstar28 I wanted an "old school" sound only monitor, because I felt the extra expense for a video one was weird. DH wanted video. Our decision was made for us when Babies R Us had a "spend $200, get this free video monitor) deal going on.

HorseLover11 · October 2014

I love the video monitor bc I can see if she broke out of her swaddle.

pushing was the easiest part after I got the epi. No pain at all!!

ToriGirl2014 · October 2014

dragonfly1809 said:

@KMW08‌ Definitely keep up with water, but the sock are awesome - they help, but also relieve the pressure in your feet. They feel fantastic! You'll be so much more comfortable with them (though you'll probably need help getting them on ) I'm terrified of pre term labour. :S

I love, love, love the compression stockings, but MH has to help me squeeze into them. IMO my legs just feel so much lighter at the end of the day when I wear them.

songbirdsinging55 · October 2014

mmheartspb said:
@songbirdsinging I'm totally terrified of labor and delivery - esp the pushing part. I'm so scared I won't be able to do it and something bad will happen. I am over educating myself with classes etc and we will see if it helps at all. I guess it might make things worse. I wish I had advice but I'm sorry I don't. Sending lots of hugs for peace of mind.

Thank you and I know when it comes to actual time, our bodies will know exactly what to do. It's just the fear of the unknown. Sending happy thoughts for you :-)

Samuelismomma · October 2014

I have just sound monitor but now that ds will have own play room and maybe naps there I'm thinking of video now. I had such fear when he was born I couldn't sleep , got depression and that was with monitors attached to him from hospital:(... Thinking angel mat or something similiar...

songbirdsinging55 · October 2014

@rox825‌ - I have heard great things about that book. I also picked up Dreambirth which has a lot of exercises for visualization. The imagery of the exercises is really quite beautiful and peaceful. I just have to work on drowning out the noise. Like quieting my mind and focusing.

megbmeg · October 2014

MoreThanSparrows08 said:

----snip------

My question is in regards to a small rash I have. Maybe tmi - but it's sort of under my left breast. I didn't have anything like this with any of my previous pregnancies, and this one started essentially from the get-go of this one. It's right where my under-wire is, and at first I thought it was because I bought a new bra and didn't wash it before I wore it (my other bras were completely falling apart that I didn't really have a choice). So I washed it and wore a different bra for a few days, but it didn't help. It itches a bit, but really only when I take my bra off and it's exposed to the air. It's not spreading or getting worse, but it's not going away. Any ideas? I keep meaning to ask my doc about it, but since it doesn't bother me all the time, I keep forgetting about it... darn pregnancy brain!

-------snip-----

Hmm....it sounds like it could be heat rash. That's really common in pregnancy, especially under the boobs. It's really just from heat & friction. Have you tried a non-underwire bra? I was really skeptical that giant preggo boobs would work without underwire, but I tried some soft bras at a maternity store and they are amazing. You can also try a little baby powder to help keep the area dry. There are some more tips here: https://www.whattoexpect.com/pregnancy/whose-body/heat-rash.aspx

Hope it goes away soon!

And congrats about the wonderful BFP news - that's so great

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