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BTDT Mom's: Sleeping through the night

Rowsdower85Rowsdower85 member
in April 2015 Moms
Hey ladies, I'm not a part of the July13 group on TB, but I really need some insight, and I didn't want to just barge into their group, especially since we have so many wise and experienced mom's in this group. Anyway, my 16 month old will not sleep through the night. There might have been a handful of nights when she's sttn, but she's up once, if not twice, a night still. I feel like I've tried everything. I follow a bedtime routine, I don't put her to sleep, I make sure she's awake when I lay her in the crib, but like clockwork, she's up around 11 or 12. And sometimes again around 4. At which point, I give her some milk and she puts herself back to sleep. I used to be against sleep training, but in a desperate attempt, we tried the Ferber method. Didn't work. Crying it out (holy crap I hate CIO) doesn't work either. She just works herself up and then she thinks it's playtime. I'll take any advice because I'm exhausted. Thanks in advance.
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Re: BTDT Mom's: Sleeping through the night

  • Rowsdower85Rowsdower85 member
    somerandomchick said:

    I have a july13 baby who's up once or twice a night too. Pretty normal really. They sleep through the night when they're ready, not when you're ready, unfortunately ;)

    That's actually really reassuring. People think I'm crazy when I mention that she still gets up in the middle of the night, so I guess I feel like it's abnormal. Good to know I'm not the only one.

    @QSB‌, I'll give the sippy cup idea a try. Thanks, ladies.
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  • MushibambooMushibamboo member
    My six-year-old got in bed with me last night ...

    But on the helpful side, my experience was similar to QSB's--my daughter started sleeping through most nights at around 20 months or so. Even then (and obviously now) she'd have the random off nights. I'd recommend trying to limit daytime naps a bit (and try taking some yourself if possible to get some extra winks). Good luck and sweet dreams for both of you!
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  • Rowsdower85Rowsdower85 member
    Wow, @QSB‌, that was a great article (the comments were a fun read too lol). I guess I am worried that I'm creating a habit that isn't healthy for her. I'm irrationally concerned that she'll go to college and still wake up to grab a glass of milk in the middle of the night. But it's been reassuring to hear that this is normal, and I do believe I'm doing the right thing by not allowing her to CIO or deal with it.
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  • nahawley82nahawley82 member
    Luckily, I never had an issue with this but to reassure you, my lo did it on her own. (She is exact same age as yours) We used to put her to bed at 11 at about four months and gradually it got earlier and she would sleep later; my sister is going through this right now and is constantly asking what we did differently. The only thing I remember is she wasn't a napper, she is now, but would never nap when she was smaller, but like pp said, it really varies by child, and you aren't doing anything wrong! Hope your baby finds her groove soon! Xo!
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  • BigAppleBiggerBellyBigAppleBiggerBelly member
    I have no advice as I'm reading this thread at 3:50 while my May 2012 "baby" refuses to sleep. He recently started new mess-with-mommy's-head campaign to sleep for a few nights and trick me into celebrating, and then have a week of every 1-2 hour wake ups again.

    They'll figure it someday, right? RIGHT? (desperately says the woman who sucks at STTN herself)

    Bonus: maybe a newborn won't be so horrible when we're already accustomed to not sleeping?
    Belly Dweller: EDD 04/22/2014
    Big Boy: Born 05/2012
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  • mrsmopar67mrsmopar67 member
    My first just started every few nights at 31 months. Don't rush your kid. It doesn't last forever and there's nothing wrong with still waking up at 16 months. My 16 month old wakes probably 5+ times to nurse still.
    image
    Tied the knot 2007 | Baby #1 2012 | Baby #2 2013 | Baby #3 EDD 4/2015
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  • ally3242ally3242 member
    DS is 18mos and still good for a wake up in the night. It's usually a quick little 5 minute diaper change and need for milk. He is getting better though, he is starting to STTN more than waking up and we haven't changed anything. They'll sleep all night when they're ready.
    BabyFruit Ticker


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  • CivilMommyCivilMommy member

    My DD is not a good sleeper.  She never was (up every 1-2 hours as a baby), first random 5 hour stretch at over 6m old, never really STTN until closer to 2 and very random at that, and at 4 years old, she still has a hard time.  We tried CIO, we tried cosleeping/bedsharing, sleeping on the nursery floor, her on a mattress in our room, gentle approaches including re-tucking into bed at every wakeup, snacks, water (bad idea when potty training)...everything.  She just isn't a good sleeper.

    There was a point when #2 was born and she was still up 2-3 times a night - almost as much as the newb.  We were exhausted, but it did get better and 2-3x a night became 2x, then 1x, then as she got more independent - I'd hear her wake and she'd stay in her room until she fell back to sleep all on her own. 

    She is an early riser too...up before 6am.  We got an OK to wake clock when she was 3 - sometimes she obeys the green light - other times she just comes into our bed now.  Some days I find her in the living room coloring at 5:30am.

    I've learned that hard core CIO just breaks their spirit, makes them more upset, and doesn't really teach them anything but that you won't come when they need you.  It doesn't work for my kids - they just get more and more upset and carry on for much longer than a gentle hug, TwinkleTwinkle song, and a kiss on the head can accomplish.

    If CIO doesn't work - try something else. 


    _________________________________________________________________
    DD 7/2010, DS 3/2012, #3 due 4/24/2015


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  • Rowsdower85Rowsdower85 member
    mrsmopar67 said:

    My first just started every few nights at 31 months. Don't rush your kid. It doesn't last forever and there's nothing wrong with still waking up at 16 months. My 16 month old wakes probably 5+ times to nurse still.

    How (if at all) have the nighttime wake-ups affected potty training with your 31 month old?
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  • MitoRachelMitoRachel member
    Both of my toddlers wake up in the night if they don't have sippy cups of water with them. Honestly, I need a glass of water by my bed at night too! My May '13 daughter still wakes up on occasion for other reasons (teething, cold, lonely, etc). If my March '12 son wakes up crying it usually means he had a bad dream, but that is rare.
    Married to E on June 5, 2010
    Gave birth to baby boy, I, on March 25, 2012
    Gave birth to baby girl, A, on May 20, 2013
    Baby #3 due April 29, 2015

    Recovering from mitochondrial dysfunction and Addison's/possibly very severe adrenal burn out using food, medicine, and a large amount of garden therapy.
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  • JulieMarie21JulieMarie21 member
    I'd give her water and stop giving milk in the middle of the night unless she's malnourished.
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  • xuxachixuxachi member
    Sounds like you're one tired mama!  Since she's waking at around the same time every night, my feeling is that you've created that habit by going to her and giving her milk.  There is no reason that she should need milk at night, so stop.  Not even in a sippy cup (also, it's bad for teeth to give juice, etc. in the bed).  Water is a good option.  And if you are worried about hunger, then try and find a way for her to consume that milk during the day.  In theory, she shouldn't wake out of hunger in the night if she's getting enough calories during the day.  

    My DS hasn't been the greatest sleeper and when he was about your DD's age, my DH started to get him, bring him downstairs and then given him a sip of water.  Guess what?  He started to wake every single night and the pattern would repeat - of course he would keep wanting that night visit from daddy!  So we gave him a sippy cup of water in his bed, and my DH would go in, but not pick him up and no (or very minimal) talking.  After a bit, he stopped waking.  He's now 3 and wakes on occasion, but at least now we know that he's waking b/c something is wrong, not because of habit.  We had done a good amount of sleep training with DS before, so undoing this new habit was probably easier than if it had been going on for a longer time.  

    If you're serious about wanting to sleep train, there are other options besides Ferber.  Here's a good website (https://www.mybabysleepguide.com/) that goes over a lot of the different methods with a good amount of detail on a few of them.  You can also search by age and get a lot of good info.  Regardless of what method you choose, it'll take a number of nights, even weeks, to get it to work, so you really have to want to do it because it's not easy.  Best of luck to you!!
    DS born 10/25/11 **  DD born 6/24/13 **  DS born 4/20/15
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  • xuxachixuxachi member
    Holy moly - This is the first time that I've come to the site online since my last baby, and I didn't realize that I'm 108 weeks pregnant!! I guess I should update that, eh?  And maybe not use the app so much :)
    DS born 10/25/11 **  DD born 6/24/13 **  DS born 4/20/15
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  • Critter015Critter015 member
    My kids STTN at 12 weeks and 9 months respectively and haven't stopped since. My DS is 14 months old, so not too much younger than your DD. Here are some things that have helped my kids sleep better. I let them have a few things in bed with them to help them soothe themselves back to sleep should they wake. This includes a sippy cup of water, one of those gloworms or seahorses that light up and play music (they stay on for 10 minutes or so), an A&A blanket in case they are cold or want something to snuggle with, and usually another toy like a favorite stuffed animal or Sophie the giraffe if they are teething. If you go in their room when they wake do not turn on any lights or talk at all, just give them their water, cover them back up with their blanket, and turn on their gloworm or whatver it is and leave. My kids quickly figured out that there wasn't going to be any interaction from me in the night and they learned how to find what they needed and go back to sleep on their own. DD is 2 1/2 and still turns on her gloworm when she wakes up. I never hear a peep from her but I hear the music. We also did do CIO but at a much younger age when it was clear that they were just fighting sleep/trying to get us to let them back out to play. Sometimes there are still tears at bedtime if they don't want to stop playing but they usually stop after just a few minutes.
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  • BabiesEverywhereBabiesEverywhere member
    edited October 2014
    What time are you putting her down for the night? We used to try to keep DD up until at least 8pm because it made sense to us that if she slept the same amount of time she would sleep in later if we put her down later. But nope, she would wake up even earlier the later we kept her up. I read an article about how most kids will sleep better if bedtime is sometime between 6 & 7:30pm. Something about their daily rhythm & sleep cycles & not being over-tired...So we slowly moved her bedtime up (now it's usually between 7 & 7:30, depending on what went on that day) & that actually helped her sleep longer.

    With that being said, my BFF's son sleeps in later if they can keep him up to 8pm. So obviously it isn't an easy fix for everyone.
    image
    DD - Born 8/12/13


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  • xuxachixuxachi member
    @critter15 we have similar things in both kids cribs: some stuffed animals, blankey, fish tank that plays music and lights up for 10 min and a book or two. DS had water. My kids love those fishtanks, I hear it on at night for my DS and he's almost 3. My 15mo DD plays it in the morning....she just hangs out there listening and waits for someone to get her. Mommy loves those fishtanks :)
    DS born 10/25/11 **  DD born 6/24/13 **  DS born 4/20/15
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  • Rowsdower85Rowsdower85 member
    I really appreciate all these replies, thanks for the great advice. @xuxachi‌ I can't believe you've been pregnant for 108 weeks, impressive ;) I will check out that site and see if any of those methods would work for us, I feel like I'm doing her a disservice by not helping her sleep better, but at the same same time, I don't want to neglect her needs. It's a fine line to walk.

    @MOtownMama‌ I am so bad at CIO... Like, I might last 7-8 minutes before I feel like I'm torturing her. Whenever I have tried this I'll go in to settle her and it just makes things worse when I try to leave.

    @BabiesEverywhere‌ She goes down at a 7 or 7:30... It all depends how nap time went that day. Which, lately, it's been a nightmare. And she gets up for the day around 7am... sometimes later. It's funny because she sleeps until 8 on Saturday's.. Haha, she knows weekends are meant for sleeping in.

    @Critter015‌ She has her favorite animal in the crib with her, but tonight I'm going to try the sippy cup and put her light up fish globe thing in there with her. Thanks so much for your advice!
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  • NcountrygalNcountrygal member
    I really think it's a developmental thing and not something you can control. If course things can help, like a good schedule and a comfortable quiet place to sleep but it sounds like you have that down already.

    Our DD just started sleeping long stretches at night and it took her a year. She slept like a newborn up until then, waking every 2 hours or even more frequently. We had tried everything but CIO and nothing worked until she cut 8 teeth, took a break from teething, and stopped easily nursing to sleep. At that point we did CIO because she was crying anyway. I think the timing just happened to be right and now she sleeps. I didn't expect such a turnaround. I guess just be patient, reevaluate the situation when something changes, and trust that baby will eventually start sleeping.

    I'm sorry you aren't getting good sleep. I know exactly how tough that is!
    Me: 27
    DH: 34

    Ticker id: Q1i7

    Lilypie - (qjIQ)

    Building a family since 12/29/12!
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  • miracle4xmiracle4x member
    My three have all slept through the night starting at 3 months old. They are now 8, 5, and 3. Haven't ever woken in all those years unless sick. I really value my sleep and just determined that they would sleep by then, and so I was motivated to train them. I'm not a softie when it comes to my sleep!
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