Paranoid about infertility while TTC

amelyse39 · October 2014

For starters...I'm new here so hello to everyone I'm 26 and my husband and I decided to start TTC this month, after several months of discussing it. I had a preconception appointment last week and my dr said it would probably take 3-4 months since I was on birth control, simply as birth control, not due to irregular periods or anything else. All of the sudden I'm just totally paranoid that I could be infertile. I'm obsessively googling signs of infertility or early symptoms of pregnancy, as well as taking pregnancy tests, even though its been less than 3 weeks since my last period started. I've never been diagnosed with anything that could affect my fertility such as PCOS or endometriosis. Is this a normal feeling? I feel like because I've always tried to prevent pregnancy, that it seems so unfathomable to ever see a positive pregnancy test.

JubilantSquirrel · October 2014

Don't borrow trouble and step away from Google.

It can take your body several cycles to regulate itself after stopping BC. It can also take a healthy couple with perfect timing a year to conceive. I suggest looking into charting your BBT. Fertility Friend is popular around here for charting, it will help you confirm ovulation and let you know when you can expect your next period. It takes the guess work out trying to know when you're "late" and when to test.

sandrabrooke · October 2014

I think its a natural feeling, honestly. It's good to realize that infertility exists and can cause problems, but there isn't any reason to fret about it. Statistically, its likely you are going to be able to get pregnant without intervention if you have well timed sex over the course of a year.

Do things like temping to figure out where you are. For me, my body was back to perfect right after I went off the pill. I ovulated (through temping) and was regular. For others, its not true. Just temp and learn about your body! The newbie blog noted by the PP is a good source.

CNYBride05 · October 2014

Um stop looking for issues? Don't borrow trouble? Stop Googling shit that you don't need to worry about? Getting pregnant can happen the 1st time you have sex or can take years. You are 26. You have no reason to believe you will have difficulty getting pregnant. Just stop. Stop.

hmwarner88 · October 2014

to be honest, i know the feeling. we plan to start TTC next month, and i have said to DH "ive been trying to prevent pregnancy for over 10 years now, wouldn't it be a slap in the face if i cant get pregnant?" he just tells me to calm down, relax and see what happens. easier said then done. I am trying to put it out of my head, but it is nice to know i am not the only one to think this way!

HannahT64 · October 2014

Don't worry 'til you have something to worry about. For now, just enjoy practicing!- start checking your BBT, and keep in tune with your body to monitor for ovulation. Other than that, just have a glass of wine (or whatever of your choice

) and enjoy time with the hubbs. Stress isn't good for the body- especially a body trying to get preg.

MKM2014 · October 2014

We are not TTC yet but plan to in the summer, and this has crossed my mind too.

DH & I just got married this summer, although we have been together for nearly 5 years. People are asking "when are you going to have a baby?" and I really don't mind them asking because we are more excited about this than they are, but I'm scared to share with everyone because I'm scared its going to take us a long time & everyone around us is going to be checking in "How's TTC going?"

I had my regular OB check up in the Fall & asked my doctor about things I should do to get my body ready for TTC since I will likely start before my next appointment. She also said she'd be "surprised" if we are not pregnant within the first 3-4 months. I'm glad I've been reading this forum so that I don't freak out if it doesn't happen in that time frame. (But, strangely enough, I've been reading TCOYF which is highly suggested here & that book also seems to state that after 4-6 months of temping/charting/well timed sex should lead to conception in most cases)

I would suggest temping/charting. I am going to do this mainly because I feel it will give me a better idea as to what is going on with my body- and if I can identify a pattern of anovulatory cycles or short luteal phases I can provide that evidence in order to seek help earlier (IMO a year of anovulatory cycles or luteal phases too short for implantation would be time wasted- if I know there is a problem now why wait a year?)

amelyse39 · October 2014

Thanks for the replies everyone! I only went off of my BC last month so I dont even know why I'm worried honestly. I've actually gone on and off of it throughout the year...off because we were thinking about TTC and I wanted to go off of it earlier to get any hormones out of my system. Then I would go back on it because I was afraid of conceiving while I was taking certain medications & also because my face started breaking out (priorities, I know). I know that it can take up to a year, but I specifically asked my doctor and he said based on my personal history, it should take 3-4 months and that because I was only taking BC for BC purposes, I should start OV right away (my first cycle off BC).

Honestly, I have a bit of an issue with health related anxiety in the first place, so I know that's where this fear is stemming from. I completely understand that it's irrational and not based in any logic whatsoever. When you're trying to not get pregnant, it seems so easy to. Miss a birth control pill, bad timing, whatever. But when you're actually trying and you realize that its not as easy as you grew up thinking, that's kind of an odd feeling. Plus, when you've never seen a positive pregnancy test before and whenever you've taken one, you've always prayed for a negative one....it's just hard to imagine getting a positive one haha. Huge mindset change.

amelyse39 · October 2014

MKM2014 said:

DH & I just got married this summer, although we have been together for nearly 5 years. People are asking "when are you going to have a baby?" and I really don't mind them asking because we are more excited about this than they are, but I'm scared to share with everyone because I'm scared its going to take us a long time & everyone around us is going to be checking in "How's TTC going?"

I completely agree- I know people who announced on facebook the exact month and week when they were going to start TTC and they weren't successful for over a year.

theholmanherd · October 2014

Impatience and anxiety =/= infertility. I have anxiety (and actual infertility, I'm a lurker from the Trouble TTC board), so I understand all the feels. You do not need to borrow trouble. It's rough enough when you actually hit that year mark, so enjoy the next few months. And yes BC can make your cycles wonky for a while, so just be patient. You'll be fine. Oh, and definitely read the newbie blog on TTGP. It's gold.

acurtin713 · October 2014

I understand your feeling. DH and I just started TTC and I have that feeling as well, but my reasoning is because my mother had infertility problems. After many tries and fails with IVF and miscarriages the doctor finally told her to be happy with the 2 babies she had, because she'd never have another one. But she says I'm her "miracle" child because she finally got pregnant, with twins, but she had a miscarriage with my twin. She didn't even know she was carrying twins until she had the miscarriage and the doctor told her there was still a heartbeat. Even though infertility isn't hereditary, it still makes me worry.

jennypolkadots · October 2014

It's been 3 weeks since your last period. Do you know when/if you ovulated? Try temping if this month you don't get a BFP.

I got pregnant the first month trying. It does happen. I was also concerned about "what ifs" just like pretty much everyone else. My cycle regulated immediately after coming off the pill. There is no norm for fertility or conceiving, and as others said just don't borrow trouble!

Good luck ttc! Just relaxxxx!

jennypolkadots · October 2014

Also you doctor sounds like a quack for telling your how long it should take you to conceive. A good amount of infertility is caused by the man. It is not all about your body or anything that can be seen by your cycles. Bleeding every 28 days doesn't even mean you ovulated. As Joy pointed out there are so many factors that I would be seriously weary of any doctor who said it should take 3-4 months.

Most healthy people will get pregnant pretty quickly. Some don't. This is just one of those things you have to wait and see. If ttc is stressing you out, just wait until you are pregnant! That's a whole 'nother ball park. I say that right now with my child kicking me sporadically in the cervix... so. much. fun!

amelyse39 · October 2014

I'm sure he threw out 3-4 months because I'm young, healthy, have a history of cycling regularly, and there's no real reason to think I would not be able to conceive (okay, just typing that makes me feel insane for my original post haha). Infertility is scary but in reality, it's not all that common and when it is, typically it's due to a cause such as PSOC or endometriosis. Obviously, that's not the case for everyone but those are the frequent, most common causes of infertility. And yes, you're completely right about how the husband could be the cause.

I have read a few times that a normal cycle is a pretty good sign that you're ovulating regularly. With that said, I'm pretty positive I did OV last Monday. I had taken a few OPK's a few days before that and got all negatives and decided it was in my best interest to just toss the remaining ones and stop worrying about it. I started getting crampy on Sunday evening and then it got worse on Monday and ended for the most part by Tuesday which would have been days 14-15 in my cycle. Of course I've take a couple of HPT's but they're been negative since I'm still about 6 days away from my expected period.

amelyse39 · October 2014

Whoops, meant to type PCOS not PCOC

amelyse39 · October 2014

Joy2611 said:

Have you looked into basal body temping, @amyelyse39? It gives a clearer picture than OPKs.

OPKs work by turning positive with your body is having a surge of LH (lutenizing hormone). Your body will have a surge 12 - 48 hours before ovulation. Unfortunately, it will also have surges that don't end in ovulation. For this reason, OPKs only tell you that *might* ovulate in the next 12 - 48 hours. It's considered a secondary ovulation sign. Other secondary signs (suggestions of ovulation, but not confirmatory) are cervical mucus and cervical position.

A primary sign of ovulation is basal body temperature. If you take it every day (when you wake up before getting out of bed), you'll see lower temps pre-ovulation and higher temps post-ovulation. Because you are fertile five days before ovulation to one day after, pinpointing your ovulation day each cycle is really valuable. You can note when you have sex and then go back and see if you hit any of those days. If so, you'll know to test for pregnancy ~ 14 days later.

Many people will use OPKs to time sex and basal body temping to confirm that ovulation actually occurred. I will probably temp for the rest of my life. I love knowing when I ovulate so I know when my period is coming. I know my luteal phase is 13 - 16 days so I'll always get my period 13 - 16 days after I ovulate. Or, I'll get a positive pregnancy test.

You can look into it if you wish... here are three sources:

1. The book "Taking Charge of Your Fertility." It's available on Amazon.com
2. The tutorials on www.fertilityfriend.com. Most people around here input their temps on that website. All you do is add your temps and OPK info/CM info and the website interprets your ovulation day for you. It's quite easy.
3. The Newbie Blog. It's in a thread called "READ THIS BEFORE YOU POST!!!" on the "Trying to Get Pregnant" board.

There are other reasons for trouble getting pregnant beside PCOS and endometriosis. Blocked tubes, thyroid conditions, low sperm counts, short luteal phases (progesterone is too low).

The "Trying to Get Pregnant" board is a wealth of information. I recommend lurking before posting to get a feel for it, but you'll see women with all sorts of trying to conceive stories. Many are short and sweet but others are long and sad.

I'm not at all knocking the 3-4 month thing from your doctor to make you sad or angry. I'm telling you for your own sanity. If after 3-4 months you are not pregnant, it's normal. It's life. It's chance and pregnancy. In a million years, I never would've guessed that I'd be here: 12 months in, no viable pregnancy, and contemplating infertility testing. But, maybe you'll be one of the lucky ones where things are easy peasy. Who knows?

Good luck!

From everything I've read, cervical mucus along with BBT charting & cervix position are the primary signs of ovulation. I have not yet tried charting...I'm trying to put that off until I feel a need to. Maybe if I'm not successful six months or so down the road, I'll give that a try.

acurtin713 · October 2014

NariaDreaming Yes, I understand that just because she had problems doesn't mean I will. It's just a dark thought that stays in the back of my head. It has been since I learned she had IF problems, even way before I was married. That was mainly the point of my reply was to tell OP that I understand her feelings of it. And I am sorry about your own IF problems. I hope all the best for you and DH!

pizzababy15 · October 2014

@amelyse29 I completely hear you. I went off the pill in mid-August in hopes to start TTC. I had my expected withdrawal bleed in August and nothing has happened since then. No period, no anything. I have OPKs and such, but I'm trying not to obsess as it's only been 2 months off the pill (which I was on for 10 years). It's very hard to stay away from everything Google has to offer regarding going off the pill, infertility, etc etc. I understand some people might be upset that people like you and me are obsessing already, especially those who have been trying for a long time, but it doesn't mean our worries aren't real. Yes, there may be nothing to worry about, but it's hard not to know what's going on with your body! Right now I'm just trying to take prenatal vitamins, exercise, eat healthy, and have unprotected sex. Haha. I'm hoping my period will show up soon so I can start really tracking things. Take a deep breath, and find joy in harboring your super fun little secret - you're trying to make a baby!

I'm right there with ya, sister.

amelyse39 · October 2014

Update- I got a BFP six days ago

All the worrying and anxiousness was for nothing. Now I'm onto worrying about everything else associated with early pregnancy...it never ends!

Good luck to everyone TTC!!

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