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question about toddler behavior

pnwlover12pnwlover12 member
in October 2014 Moms
Help! The past two weeks DD has been crying/freaking out whenever we leave her; whether it's at school, or with grandma and grandpa (and she normally loves going to their house to play). She always stops crying about 5 minutes after we leave and ends up having fun, but it is a total meltdown when we try to go.

Her teacher suggested that she can sense the change about to happen with the new baby and it's making her anxious? This is new territory for me because she never used to do this.

Anyone have experience with this? Any tips or suggestions to make it better? I'm letting her stay home from school today because she instantly started bawling and hid from me when I told her we needed to get ready to go this morning...I just don't have the emotional strength to get through it today.





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Re: question about toddler behavior

  • roundabout2roundabout2 member
    I have a 2 yr old and we've been having some of the same issues. As well as the new baby (and prior to baby being here, running out of lap room, etc) we also moved last month. So, it's been overwhelming for her. We've just been consistent about showing her snuggles and spending extra time with her, as well as reminding her that we can't understand crying/screaming and to use her words. I just can't imagine what's going on in her little toddler mind with so much change. 
    And, it has gotten better. She's much better about using words to let us know what she needs, and sometimes just giving her lots of love helps everything. 
    As far as not wanting to leave, I get the same thing. She loves her daycare, and her daddy, but still melts down if I leave or she has to leave me. Basically all I can do at that point is to say I love you, I'll see you soon, and leave. 
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  • bumpuser10309732bumpuser10309732 member
    No advice here just wanted to say I'm sorry LB! That would be so hard! I know my mom said I went through a phase where she would leave me at daycare and I would wrap myself around her legs and just cry. She said she would go early and sit with me for 10 minutes or so until I was comfortable and distracted before she left. I can't imagine the stress that must make you feel as a mom. I hope she gets through it before baby brother gets here!
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  • LightBright515LightBright515 member
    Make drop offs quick and to the point.
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  • MuffinMom14MuffinMom14 member
    Nicb13 said:
    I would keep taking her and keep her routine the same, even though she's sad. I really think she just senses change or maybe a change in you perhaps. Give her lots of love but keep things the same. Try to talk to her a lot about how she's feeling.
    I know nothing, because I have no kids, but I'd be inclined to do the above. By her realizing if she cries, she gets to stay home, you might set a pattern. Or, at least, that is my completely unexperienced guess.
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  • pnwlover12pnwlover12 member
    Thanks everyone! Sorry to post and run, bur she decided last minute she wanted to go so we rushed to get ready. She was happy the entire way there and walking to the classroom. As soon as we went inside she wrapped herself around me and started crying. I was able to get out of there in about 2 minutes or so, and her teacher is awesome and really reassuring that basically as soon as I leave she stops crying and has fun.

    Ugh. I hope this passes soon.





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  • pnwlover12pnwlover12 member
    SPurp13 said:


    Nicb13 said:

    I would keep taking her and keep her routine the same, even though she's sad. I really think she just senses change or maybe a change in you perhaps. Give her lots of love but keep things the same. Try to talk to her a lot about how she's feeling.

    I know nothing, because I have no kids, but I'd be inclined to do the above. By her realizing if she cries, she gets to stay home, you might set a pattern. Or, at least, that is my completely unexperienced guess.


    I know. It was a weak moment on my part
    :-S





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  • MuffinMom14MuffinMom14 member
    pnwlover12 said:
    Nicb13 said:
    I would keep taking her and keep her routine the same, even though she's sad. I really think she just senses change or maybe a change in you perhaps. Give her lots of love but keep things the same. Try to talk to her a lot about how she's feeling.
    I know nothing, because I have no kids, but I'd be inclined to do the above. By her realizing if she cries, she gets to stay home, you might set a pattern. Or, at least, that is my completely unexperienced guess.
    I know. It was a weak moment on my part :-S
    No judgement here. I would have done the same. My husband and I have discussed how we will treat a kid who doesn't like what's for dinner, for example, and we are both like "well then she doesn't eat, because I'm not making two dinners," but I can tell you when my baby gets up at 2 in the morning because she's hungry, I will cave.

    All the plans in the world. I will follow none.
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  • italiangal1033italiangal1033 member
    My 3, almost 4 year old is going through the same thing. The advice we were given is to stick to whatever routine we were using before the behavior started. Also, to make things as predictable as possible for him. So by sticking to a routine, and telling him in advance what is happening he feels like he has some control over the situation. The last thing we've been doing is trying to give him some control over his day (within reason). For example, here are 2 outfits which would you like to wear to school? Or, we can have spaghetti or chicken for dinner tonight what sounds good to you? Things like that seem to help him be more excited about the day and feel better about it in general. It's definitely not a sure fix, but I can say it has worked for us! Good luck with your DD!
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  • Nichole7041Nichole7041 member
    I definitely think it's that she's sensing a change. My son is suddenly acting out and is becoming super clingy, and every time we leave him somewhere it's terrible.

    I'm definitely with you in hoping this passes soon because I've been on the toddler board searching and they just say the phase WILL end :(

    I hope things get easier for you soon!
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  • vrj0522vrj0522 member
    DS did this for about a month just after he'd turned two. Then he got over it and went back to his old self of being happy being dropped off. I agree to just keep it to the point and maybe on your way there or after you pick her up, talk to her about what is happening and the fact that you will always come back for her. 
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    Me: 38 DH: 36
    Married 8/27/2011
    BFP #1 9/28/2011 DS born 5/22/2012
    BFP #2 4/24/2013 m/c 4/25/2013 at 4w
    BFP #3 1/31/2014 DD born 10/14/2014
    BFP #4 1/20/2016 m/c 2/12/2014 at 7w2d
    BFP #5 8/19/2016 DS2 born 4/29/2017
    BFP #6 3/7/2018 EDD 11/18/2018


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  • badgererinbadgererin member
    Do you have any friends nearby with new little ones that your toddler can meet and see in person? Our toddler has seemed to enjoy meeting his brand new cousins and we think the experience with what a baby is has been helpful too... Good luck! Once baby arrives, we'd love to hear any advice you have for the toddlers!!
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