@shinyredsmartazz I forgot to mention it's not that I don't want so disclose where I am from, I honestly don't see how that's relevant. The general idea that I am trying to get out there is that different countries have different traditions and meanings for certain events, but people here keep acting like that's wrong (?!) What would I care to share further details about my life? I'm not trying to convince anyone here, just defending my beliefs that is all.
@msspeedymarie Baby showers are not only a U.S. thing. There may be countries that don't have them, but I can assure you that many other countries do.
@Happy_Yahoo_Personaler Please, look who is talking about being ignorant. And defense? I don't need any "defense" or a whole list of reasons to explain you why I think the way I do. If you think it's tacky to have a second baby shower, then great for you. I don't think that way.
@Bliss+Berry well you seem to be a very closed minded person, I've been raised by loving parents who have taught me respect and manners. I do understand that here in the U.S. A second baby shower is tacky but you see, I am not entirely from here and neither is a big part of my family and friends, where I come from we do things differently. Different is not always wrong, your way is not the only way.
Too bad your loving parents didn't teach you etiquette.
I'm curious what culture you keep referring to.
She's probably referring to a culture different from what you know. We are all different and not everybody's circle feels like what you are accustom to. It's the norm with my family and friends to give baby showers no matter what number pregnancy it is and they most likely will have more than one. People give showers at work, another at church, and a big one with family and friends. Open your mind before you judge and realize that we are not all the same.
Sigh. No, we are not all the same. But the very POINT of etiquette is to ensure the comfort of ALL your guests. Not just the majority. If you are getting a majority on this board saying that second+ showers are tacky and in poor taste, why do you assume not a single person you know in real life doesn't feel the same way? They just have enough manners to NOT tell you to your face. Which, since we don't know you, are not under the same societal norms to avoid doing. So please - open YOUR mind. Realize that yes. You may be putting a friend or family member in an awkward position, albeit inadvertently. The point of etiquette is to avoid that. And NO ONE needs an invitation to give a gift.
I care more about the majority that I KNOW feel it's normal to have showers for 2nd and 3rd pregnancies than the few that might have a problem with it. If they have a problem then don't come. No hurt feelings. Showers are more than just giving gifts, it's just a time to come together, have fun and celebrate.
Believe me when I say it's normal for some cultures and certain circles. What would be abnormal is if a mother said she wasn't having one and then we would all come together to throw her one.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Of course we are not all the same - some of us provide for our children, whereas others let everyone else do it for them.
It's not even like that. I went to my cousin's shower a few months back for a 2nd pregnancy and I'm pretty sure this couples wasn't having financial problems and the mother didn't throw her own shower, her sisters and her best friend did. It was really nice, a large turnout and we had a nice time.
I swear I never heard in my life the no 2nd shower rule.
@Happy_Yahoo_Personaler Please, look who is talking about being ignorant. And defense? I don't need any "defense" or a whole list of reasons to explain you why I think the way I do. If you think it's tacky to have a second baby shower, then great for you. I don't think that way.
You don't think that way because you are from that speshul secret country called Tackistan. We get it. So, why are you hanging around an etiquette board? Is passive aggressive shit stirring also a time honored tradition in your culture?
I think it is absolutely tacky...however, they happen all the time. At the same time, a shower should be about celebrating the joy of having a baby and enjoying the time with your friends and family, NOT about the gifts! It's not everyone else's responsibility to fund your baby.
With that being said, my mother, who lives in Texas, has been invited to multiple showers for second babies. They call them "sprinkles" in the south when they are for the second or third baby. I still think it's inappropriate. Worst of all, she was invited to one in GA, while living in Texas...you can't get more obvious that you just want the gifts.
If you are pregnant and loved, people will probably send you gifts - no need to rub it in their faces and have a shower - especially if you have to ASK someone to have it for you!.
@empireceo haha. That's all I have to say to you. Etiquette? The word you are looking for is ignorance. Traditions are based on cultural preferences, but you go ahead and continue thinking that your beliefs should apply to the whole entire world. I've said it so many times, what works for you may not work for all social or cultural backgrounds. If you can't understand or respect that then that's fine, I'm not here to change your mind.
I personally will be throwing my sister a second shower or rather a "sprinkle". It is her husbands first baby and it will be a family event. My niece is five and my sister gave away almost all of her baby items. I don't think there is anything "wrong" or "tacky" about a second shower as long as the approach is right. There is nothing wring with blessing and welcome a baby into this world. Yes, baby showers are a celebration of motherhood but they are BABY showers, not MOM showers. It takes a village to raise a child and if in that village a family needs support you support them.
Haven't you ladies heard of a " Baby Sprinkle"??? It is where friends and family shower second or third time moms with items to compliment things they already own.
On another note, in the Latino culture you have a shower for every baby. I am due two weeks after my sister, I have a 19 month old. I do not need anything nor do I feel comfortable having a second shower despite my husbands multiple family asking when it is.
I personally will be throwing my sister a second shower or rather a "sprinkle". It is her husbands first baby and it will be a family event. My niece is five and my sister gave away almost all of her baby items. I don't think there is anything "wrong" or "tacky" about a second shower as long as the approach is right. There is nothing wring with blessing and welcome a baby into this world. Yes, baby showers are a celebration of motherhood but they are BABY showers, not MOM showers. It takes a village to raise a child and if in that village a family needs support you support them.
Haven't you ladies heard of a " Baby Sprinkle"??? It is where friends and family shower second or third time moms with items to compliment things they already own.
On another note, in the Latino culture you have a shower for every baby. I am due two weeks after my sister, I have a 19 month old. I do not need anything nor do I feel comfortable having a second shower despite my husbands multiple family asking when it is.
Of corse we've heard of sprinkles. We think they are gift grabby and rude. Anything else you need cleared up?
I personally will be throwing my sister a second shower or rather a "sprinkle". It is her husbands first baby and it will be a family event. My niece is five and my sister gave away almost all of her baby items. I don't think there is anything "wrong" or "tacky" about a second shower as long as the approach is right. There is nothing wring with blessing and welcome a baby into this world. Yes, baby showers are a celebration of motherhood but they are BABY showers, not MOM showers. It takes a village to raise a child and if in that village a family needs support you support them.
Haven't you ladies heard of a " Baby Sprinkle"??? It is where friends and family shower second or third time moms with items to compliment things they already own.
On another note, in the Latino culture you have a shower for every baby. I am due two weeks after my sister, I have a 19 month old. I do not need anything nor do I feel comfortable having a second shower despite my husbands multiple family asking when it is.
Of course we've heard of sprinkles. We think they are gift grabby and rude. Anything else you need cleared up?
Good god. I wrote the post and forgot to check until now. Didn't know it was such a huge deal! lol I'm just going to say if my family wants to throw me a shower I'm all for it. Definitely wasn't going throw my own.
If a shower is to welcome mom to motherhood, why are all the gifts for the baby?
They are things for mothers to use for their babies. Most women are appreciative for gifts for their babies that help with the cost of things they otherwise would have purchased themselves. I'm curious what you think should be given at a shower....
If a shower is to welcome mom to motherhood, why are all the gifts for the baby?
They are things for mothers to use for their babies. Most women are appreciative for gifts for their babies that help with the cost of things they otherwise would have purchased themselves. I'm curious what you think should be given at a shower....
Not saying I wouldn't appreciate having things given to my baby. Of course I would. I'm just saying that I hardly see how giving gifts that are for my baby "welcomes me to motherhood."
If a shower is to welcome mom to motherhood, why are all the gifts for the baby?
::facepalm::
Seriously?
Yes, seriously. Is it too much for you to even attempt to put together a line of reasoning that is logically consistent?
when buying a gift for a baby shower it doesn't have to be baby related. You can buy anything you want for MTB but traditionally people buy something for baby. does this satisfy your inane question, sweetheart?
I've been set straight. My use of the word "spiteful" was either "strong", "vulgar" or "offensive" and for that I apologize. I certainly never meant to offend any of you lovely, open-minded, logical ladies with my strong language!
ETA: for reference, it seems that all flavors of sarcasm are just fine, and calling people "inane" isn't an issue either. Just so you don't make the same mistakes I did.
But, we had a double income in the military so it wasn't a big deal since we had little trouble affording everything. Anyways, since then, we've both ended our enlistment and moved back home to allow my hubby to pursue his dream job and I'm a stay at home mom since we can't afford childcare.
Thank you for your service to our country. You and your husband both sacrificed to do so, and I hope that your family does offer assistance during this trying time.
There will always be someone that is not happy with everything. There is no way that you can include everyone's feelings. You shoot to have most people happy. You can not tell me in my circle of family and friends that the majority of people will feel a 2nd shower is tacky when the expectant mother is so happy and so many family and friends come together to throw her a shower.
This board is a representative of all races, cultures, and social groups. How about just say in YOUR world it's tacky.
There will always be someone that is not happy with everything. There is no way that you can include everyone's feelings. You shoot to have most people happy. You can not tell me in my circle of family and friends that the majority of people will feel a 2nd shower is tacky when the expectant mother is so happy and so many family and friends come together to throw her a shower.
This board is a representative of all races, cultures, and social groups. How about just say in YOUR world it's tacky.
Nope it's all around tacky and gift grabby. If you want to celebrate how about you don't call it a shower? Ok. Good.
There will always be someone that is not happy with everything. There is no way that you can include everyone's feelings. You shoot to have most people happy. You can not tell me in my circle of family and friends that the majority of people will feel a 2nd shower is tacky when the expectant mother is so happy and so many family and friends come together to throw her a shower.
This board is a representative of all races, cultures, and social groups. How about just say in YOUR world it's tacky.
Nope it's all around tacky and gift grabby. If you want to celebrate how about you don't call it a shower? Ok. Good.
Semantics. Call it something else, but everything is the same. That's pointless.
It's so funny to me that the majority on this board just can not understand that not everyone feels and thinks the same. I have no problem understanding and respecting the fact that in your circle it's tacky, but you and others can't do the same for other cultures and social groups. There is no right or wrong. When in Rome..................
There will always be someone that is not happy with everything. There is no way that you can include everyone's feelings. You shoot to have most people happy. You can not tell me in my circle of family and friends that the majority of people will feel a 2nd shower is tacky when the expectant mother is so happy and so many family and friends come together to throw her a shower.
This board is a representative of all races, cultures, and social groups. How about just say in YOUR world it's tacky.
The problem is that as most of us see it, it's not the opinion of the MAJORITY of your family that matters. It's the opinion of ALL of them. In the world of etiquette, if even one person is going to feel uncomfortable or put upon by something, then it's just good etiquette to not do it. It's just common courtesy!
It's not 'will most of my family be offended' its 'will ANY of my family be offended.'
I definitely say go for it (if someone offers to throw one for you of course). I do not think there is anything wrong with a shower for a 2nd child to honor mommy and baby. Especially, since you did not have one before. Just think about what a fun baby shower memory you'll have, which you otherwise would not get.
@MrsPDX you need to stop it with the tacky advice. If you're going to "help out" on the baby shower board at least read some Emily Post or Miss Manners or something.
BFP #1: It's a GIRL! DD born October, 2012 BFP #2: m/c at 7w, February, 2014 BFP #3: It's a BOY! Please be our rainbow! Due February, 2015 *everyone always welcome*
I actually didn't know when it had been written. I am not doing a second shower because my son is only 2, but if others do them and keep it to family and their closest friends (who would likely buy gifts anyway), I see nothing wrong with it. But I agree that doing it just to get stuff and/or hosting it yourself is really wrong. Doing it to celebrate the new baby with those closest to you is fine to me.
Re: 2nd baby baby shower
TTC since September 2012
TTC since September 2012
You don't think that way because you are from that speshul secret country called Tackistan. We get it. So, why are you hanging around an etiquette board? Is passive aggressive shit stirring also a time honored tradition in your culture?
**lurking from TTGP**
I think it is absolutely tacky...however, they happen all the time. At the same time, a shower should be about celebrating the joy of having a baby and enjoying the time with your friends and family, NOT about the gifts! It's not everyone else's responsibility to fund your baby.
With that being said, my mother, who lives in Texas, has been invited to multiple showers for second babies. They call them "sprinkles" in the south when they are for the second or third baby. I still think it's inappropriate. Worst of all, she was invited to one in GA, while living in Texas...you can't get more obvious that you just want the gifts.
If you are pregnant and loved, people will probably send you gifts - no need to rub it in their faces and have a shower - especially if you have to ASK someone to have it for you!.
Me: 30 DH: 33
TTC #1 since June 2014
Baby #1 coming March 2016
My Chart
Please make it stop! Make it stop!
Of corse we've heard of sprinkles. We think they are gift grabby and rude. Anything else you need cleared up?
They are things for mothers to use for their babies. Most women are appreciative for gifts for their babies that help with the cost of things they otherwise would have purchased themselves.
I'm curious what you think should be given at a shower....
when buying a gift for a baby shower it doesn't have to be baby related. You can buy anything you want for MTB but traditionally people buy something for baby.
does this satisfy your inane question, sweetheart?
I said your question was inane.....
TTC since September 2012
Nope it's all around tacky and gift grabby.
If you want to celebrate how about you don't call it a shower? Ok. Good.
TTC since September 2012
Bravo @somerandomchick! Very well put!
@MrsPDX you need to stop it with the tacky advice. If you're going to "help out" on the baby shower board at least read some Emily Post or Miss Manners or something.
BFP #2: m/c at 7w, February, 2014
BFP #3: It's a BOY! Please be our rainbow! Due February, 2015
*everyone always welcome*
https://www.emilypost.com/social-life/celebrations-through-life/456-baby-shower-questions-answered