Shower timing question

amedbery · October 2014

My H is from a small town about two hours from where we live and his mom wanted to throw us a shower. Due to another planned shower and a surgery she scheduled, she wants to do it December 14 (I'm due with number 1 on December 31). I'm so grateful but also really nervous - I had intended on staying close to home that close to my due date. I do not have any complications at this point (knock on wood - still waiting on results from my 3 hour GD torture session). What do y'all think? Cutting it too close? Or should I listen to my inner big girl who says I'm being dramatic and that it's fine?

CandEChicago · October 2014

Double check with your doctor on how restricted they want your travel. At this point maybe a meet the baby party is more feasible since it will allow your mom sone time to recover from surgery. Like 8 -10 weeks recovery?

amedbery · October 2014

Well it is more of a cosmetic concern with the recovery than a medical one. I think she planned the surgery early and the shower late to maximize recovery time. I really wish she'd put the shower earlier and surgery later. It is on her nose to remove skin cancer but a couple months wouldn't affect the outcome. But it's scheduled now regardless.

leoandethansmom · October 2014

I agree with others in checking your doctor. Personally, my OB won't allow any of her patients to travel further than 2 hours from the hospital from 32 weeks on. I feel that's a little strict but it got me out of a work trip so I'm not complaining. Also, I think the skin cancer trumps the shower, IMO.

CandEChicago · October 2014

Tell your MIL that skin cancer trumps shower. You appreciate the gesture but would be just as pleased if she wanted to host the first "meet the baby" event after the baby is here. This probably is her way of making life continue to feel normal... but you do want to make sure the Grandma is there for the baby. Health before a party.

amedbery · October 2014

Yeah I'm going to ask my MD. Her doctors just wanted her to schedule the surgery in the next 6 months or so. My dad's an oncologist and my uncle's a dermatologist and both thought that was totally normal so she's deferring to them and her MD. I haven't had the convo with my OB about travel but I'll ask him at my appointment next week. I didn't want MIL to get too far in the planning and then have to move it. We called her today and let her know we may have to move it based on the doctor's opinion. I knew I shouldn't fly that late - I just wasn't sure about a car trip but y'all are probably right that the doctor might want us close to home.

perfectlove09 · October 2014

The only reason I'd "check with your doctor" is to see if there is any medical reason you shouldn't travel. Any distance.
Technically the ONLY reason not to travel would be that you want to deliver at a specific hospital with a specific dr.

I'm not really sure I understand the whole "my dr won't LET me travel". You can do what ever the hell you want. Granted that would require you to possibly deliver outside of your insurance coverage, at a hospital you don't know/like, with a dr you don't know. Etc.

When I was pg with dd I asked my OB about this and the answer above was from her.

Two hours is far, four round trip, but I think if you're feeling ok and you know where the nearest hospital is in case of an emergency than you're probably ok

leoandethansmom · October 2014

perfectlove09 said:

The only reason I'd "check with your doctor" is to see if there is any medical reason you shouldn't travel. Any distance. Technically the ONLY reason not to travel would be that you want to deliver at a specific hospital with a specific dr. I'm not really sure I understand the whole "my dr won't LET me travel". You can do what ever the hell you want. Granted that would require you to possibly deliver outside of your insurance coverage, at a hospital you don't know/like, with a dr you don't know. Etc. When I was pg with dd I asked my OB about this and the answer above was from her. Two hours is far, four round trip, but I think if you're feeling ok and you know where the nearest hospital is in case of an emergency than you're probably ok

Yes I suppose I should have clarified my doctor "won't let me travel" because I am high risk with a history of PTL.

Shortstack06 · October 2014

Honestly, my shower was at 28 weeks, I stood to open gifts the whole time so everyone could see and my feet were killing me. They didn't swell, but if you have a history with swelling it would be rough. My stomach also took out chairs as I went around and talked to people, I think at 37 weeks it would be miserable. So I would think about how uncomfortable it may be traveling(if your MD approves) and how your comfort level will be during.

Kmm1023 · October 2014

Agree with talk to doc! Also a car ride for 2 hours may be less then comfortable ! I can't go 20 mins without peeing!

weezy29 · October 2014

I think that's cutting it a little too close. It's possible you may have even had the baby by then. I would let her know how much you appreciate the gesture but due to her health and timing, maybe you should just forego the shower.

Manateearmz · October 2014

I agree with everyone else. I really wouldn't travel that far that close to my due date.

As a side note, not all skin cancers are ZOMG urgent. Melanoma is the worst but there are also Basel cell carcinoma and squamous cell carcinoma's that are very slow growing and not seen as an immediate danger. I'm hoping that she has one of the slower growing forms and heals quickly!

amedbery · October 2014

Manateearmz said:
I agree with everyone else. I really wouldn't travel that far that close to my due date.

As a side note, not all skin cancers are ZOMG urgent. Melanoma is the worst but there are also Basel cell carcinoma and squamous cell carcinoma's that are very slow growing and not seen as an immediate danger. I'm hoping that she has one of the slower growing forms and heals quickly!

Exactly, it is Basel cell - you could wait a couple years without making much of a difference. She planned the early surgery and late shower because she doesn't want to have an ugly nose at the shower, not for health reasons. I had my H call her and let her know we would need to move it - she will just have to deal with a bandaged nose. I'm with y'all on a meet the baby thing. I'm far from a germaphobe, but it seems like Russian roulette with a newborn in January.

ColoradoBoat · October 2014

My insurance won't cover delivery outside of one hour from my hospital after 36 weeks. So basically I'm stuck within in town for the last 4 weeks prior to due date. So definitely check!

kboyet · October 2014

Wow my doctor said I could fly until 36 weeks. I feel like she is too lenient after reading what most of yours say!

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