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When sadness turns to jealousy & anger. I am ashamed and here is my vent....

Puglife83Puglife83 member
edited October 2014 in Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss

In the first 2 months, I was depressed about losing my pregnancy. I felt sad all the time, unable to think about anything but that.

Slowly the sadness has turned into jealousy, anger and hostility. Honestly, I feel so ashamed, as those are not qualities that I have ever had in my life.

I have distanced myself from family and friends who are either pregnant or newly a mom. I just cant physically and mentally stand to be around them. Ive unfollowed them on facebook. When I see people who complain about being pregnant or their children on the internet I go off with a rage on them, telling them how selfish they are and that millions of women would kill to be experiencing what they are complaining about.  When I see teenage moms I look at them in disgust and get angry that I am almost 31 and I have no children but they are 16 and a blessed with a child because of a mistake. Everytime my husband talks to me about traveling somewhere next spring I get angry and snap at him, accusing him of not being sensitive to the fact that that is when our child should have been here and not caring.

 I appreciate the opportunity to vent <3. Writing it out makes me even more embarrassed for my behavior and that I just cant be like this anymore.

Me: 31 DH:28

BFP: July 6 2014. Ectopic discovered at 7 weeks. TTC since February 2014





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Re: When sadness turns to jealousy &amp;amp; anger. I am ashamed and here is my vent....

  • xraychick01xraychick01 member
    edited October 2014
    Don't feel embarrassed for your behavior.  I think what you are going through right now is completely normal.  We go through all kinds of emotions with a loss like this.  It's easy to see what others take for granted when we are on the other side.  This is the perfect place for you to get out your frustrations because everyone here knows just how you feel.  Have you tried keeping a journal?  Maybe writing down your feelings each day will help you cope with how you are feeling. Hugs and hang in there!
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  • KingLEDKingLED member
    Have you thought about seeing a therapist? I couldn't have made it through my losses without mine. She was amazing to have there when things got rough. I can't recommend finding one enough.
    Son: Jackson, 11/02/06, stillborn due to PPROM and IUGR. Over the next ten years we had 9 miscarriages from 8-14 weeks. On May 18, 2016 my daughter, Ridley, was born. We're OADNBC.
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  • Kath1083Kath1083 member
    Do not be ashamed. I can relate to a lot of what you are saying and have hidden multiple people on Facebook as well. I am a teacher so I see a lot of teenage moms and have similar feelings. My best friend is a social worker and she has been a huge support through all of those feelings. I strongly suggest finding someone to talk to. I'm going to see my new nephews today. My husband dosent understand how this could be hard that is why I have been sharing these thoughts with girls who have gone through this.

    I am so sorry you are going through all of this.
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  • foodie12rnfoodie12rn member
    I'm so sorry you are going through this. Don't be ashamed. You aren't able to control how you're feeling. I wish I had some other advice, but instead ((hugs))
    Me: 28, DH: 33
    Married 10.12.11
     BFP #1: 5.30.12- Giannna, born 1.27.13
    BFP #2: 9.18.14- due 6.1.15 -- natural m/c @ 5w6d 
    BFP #3 11.2.14- due 7.16.14 -- mmc, d&c @ 10w1d

    Image and video hosting by TinyPic  image 


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  • mustlovedogs63mustlovedogs63 member
    Don't be ashamed. I am experiencing this as well and although it's unlike me, I know that it's a part of the healing process. Take care.
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  • bbboiwithluvbbboiwithluv member
    I'm so sorry for your loss <3 I, too, seem to be consumed by depression, anger and jealousy. Since my miscarriage, three of my friends have told me that they were expecting (only one knew of my loss at the time). TWO of them told me on the SAME freaking day! Surely, god is playing a cruel joke on me. When I broke down crying about it, my SO tried his best to comfort me. But it ended with him saying that "I shouldn't take it so personally".
    Take your time to process your grief, anger, etc. I've been trying to use a journal as an outlet, and I hope venting has helped you too. Don't feel ashamed, and let yourself feel what you need to feel. And remember that you're not alone <3

    Sorry for oversharing on my reply `=]
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  • Puglife83Puglife83 member
    edited October 2014
    Ladies, thank you so much for your replies. <3

    Me: 31 DH:28

    BFP: July 6 2014. Ectopic discovered at 7 weeks. TTC since February 2014





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