Intro - devastated

nikiswimr · October 2014

We just got confirmation of our loss today. DH and I have been together 10 years and have been TTC for most of the last two. We finally got pregnant on Clomid +
TI with our RE and I thought the IF nightmare was over. Now at 7 weeks 5 days we confirmed our precious baby stopped growing at the end of the 5th week. I had to go back to work right after my doctors appt and I still can't wrap my head around it tonight. It feels so unfair and so hopeless. Today I told my RE I wanted a D&C to just be done with it. But now after google I worry about how it will affect my fertility? How much time do I need off of work? Can I go back the next day?

xraychick01 · October 2014

I don't have any experience with D&C either but IMO it's' best to late nature take it's course if at all possible, especially if there's a chance the D&C can cause issues in the future. But I'm not a doctor so I would do what they suggest. I'm so sorry for your loss.

DanandVan · October 2014

I am so sorry for your loss. Having struggled with IF as well, I know how disappointed you must be.
I had my 2nd d&c last Friday. I was woozy and crampy the day of, sore and hormonal the next 2 days, and feeling just plain tired until today (feeling my energy come back, and stomach is barely sore).
If your job is not physically strenuous, you could go back the next day. However, if at all possible, give yourself a day or two to recover - scheduling it for a Friday is perfect.
Wishing you a smooth d&c recovery, and sending hugs.

foodie12rn · October 2014

I'm so sorry for your loss. I wish none of us had to be here. ((Hugs)).

FigureSkater8 · October 2014

I'm sorry for your loss. My D&C gave me peace of mind (I could not have waited for my body to run its course). I was 11 weeks and the baby passed away at 8 weeks. Clearly my body was not in a hurry as we had no idea of the loss. The D&C was smooth and I could have gone back the next day, but like PPs would recommend taking at least the day after off if you can for your emotional well-being. I think D&Cs get a bad rap but for me it was the right choice. Strange to say but once I knew my baby was no longer living, I didn't want it in my body anymore...I wanted it to be removed. I felt peace of mind afterward, though I'm obviously still grieving. Hugs.

flyoffeve · October 2014

I am so sorry for your loss. (hugs)

GingerPop79 · October 2014

I am so sorry for your loss. I had a D&C 2 weeks ago and although it was my first one I felt like it was the right way to go. Hugs to you.

shirleymaeby · October 2014

Hey Niki...I'm so sorry you wound up here too. My RE's office offered me an MUA (manual uterine aspiration) which apparently involves suction rather than scraping like a D&C. There is apparently less danger of scarring with this procedure and we are able to go back into TTC after my next regular cycle. It was uncomfortable but other than some mild cramping afterward I've been fine. I even went back to work today (I had it yesterday).

I am so, so sorry you had to struggle with IF for so long only to have this happen. I absolutely understand what you're going through in that regard. My heart goes out to you and I hope that you are able to find some peace and try again when you are ready.

oldiebutgoodie80 · October 2014

I'm so heartbroken for you. I didn't want to see any of us on this board. I am sorry you are having to deal with all of this. Sending many T&P you way. (((hugs)))

maybebride · October 2014

I'm so sorry.

I had my D&C at 9 weeks when baby had stopped growing at 6. Thankfully, mine was on a Friday, so I was able to have the weekend and I took off the following Monday as well, mostly for emotional reasons, not physical. The day off I was still feeling the effects of surgery itself, but I was mostly fine physically the day after. But, that doesn't mean I didn't want to just sit and do nothing all day, which I mostly did.

Everybody is going to be different. Many if not most women will have cramping day of and day after, so it's really hard to say.

ctk181 · October 2014

I agree with PPs. I had a D&C, and it really was not bad physically. I did take the next day off, but that was more for my emotional well-being than my physical well-being. I had a lot of cramping on the third day post-D&C but other than that I had very little discomfort. My doctor assured me that the procedure would not negatively impact my fertility. I am so sorry for your loss and I wish you a speedy recovery.

nikiswimr · October 2014

Well, one day after stopping progesterone I started cramping and spotting. Looks like the progesterone was the only thing keeping me pregnant. So maybe this will proceed on its own. Which is better, I guess. So now mentally and physically I feel like crap

Thank you ladies for your support, I don't know how I'd stand this without someone who understands.

katie0919 · October 2014

Welcome, and I'm so sorry for your loss.

I too, got pregnant on my first round of Clomid + Trigger + TI and was on progesterone from O on....I found out right before 8 weeks that my baby had no growth in a weeks time. My RE suggested I cease taking progesterone to see if my body would pass the baby naturally within a few days and if not, then we would schedule the procedure.

I stopped taking the progesterone on Friday, Sept. 19th and began miscarrying the night of Monday, September 22nd. At first I wanted the D&C to be done with it, but I too worried about the risks of the surgery. Being that I'm 35 and want to have another baby asap since my fertility is already on the decline, I decided the natural miscarriage would be better.

I will warn you though, a natural miscarriage isn't "quick". The worst of it was over within a week, but here I am 17 days since I started bleeding and I STILL have brownish discharge (TMI, sorry). I did have a sonogram on Tuesday and my uterine lining is good (meaning no residual tissue, sac, etc.) and she told me to call when I get my period and we can begin Clomid again. I even asked if it would be stupid to try this month if I can track my cycle and she said that there was no reason to not try this month if I wanted to. BUT, she said I'm probably looking at another 4 weeks before I get my period (and since I usually ovulate around day 20, I'm assuming it will be even longer than that). They checked my ovaries and I have not begun ovulating and even tested (very faintly) positive on a wondfo on Tuesday. So I'm guessing my levels are just now getting close to zero. So, a natural miscarriage is not the quickest process....but I believe even after a D&C, your period will most likely be delayed a bit anyway.

I wish you luck with whatever you choose to do, and again I'm so sorry for your loss. I thought the natural miscarriage would be awful, emotionally, and it was...but I don't think it was any more so emotionally hard than a D&C would have been. It was quite physically painful though - the worst cramps I've ever had in my life by far (besides labor) and I took the max dose of Advil (4 every 4 hours) for the first few days. Big hugs, take care

4N6s · October 2014

I'm so sorry for your loss

I had a natural miscarriage and took the day off of work since I ended up in the ER. Anyway, I think d&c recovery differs for everyone. My best friend was out and in bed for a month because she got an infection.

Good luck and I'm so sorry

kyliehopeful · October 2014

Hi I'm sorry for your loss. I've tried all methods natural, medicated, and I've had a scraping d&c and lastly a suction d&c. For me the d&c option was better as I retained tissue with the other options and had an infection with one of them. Like shirleymaybe said they can do a gentle suction d&c now that doesn't risk scarring. It was by far my easiest and less painful experience and had the least about of bleeding afterwards. Every person is different though so do what feels right for you. With medication and natural though be aware you may see the embryonic sac with fetus inside. Sorry if that's too much info but I wish someone had of warned me to be prepared. While for some women they have found seeing the fetus as a good thing as they get to say goodbye, others like myself found it too emotional. Good luck with your recovery, hugs.

SurpriseAt39 · October 2014

I'm sorry for your loss.
(I haven't posted here before)

I had a miscarriage many years ago. Baby stopped growing at 6 weeks. I found out at what should have been 10 weeks.
Clearly my body was not trying to get rid of the tissue.
I had a D&C. The doctor told me I'd need a few days off to recover physically. (I had a desk job at the time)
When I awoke from the procedure I felt like such a weight had been lifted. I called work the next morning to say I could return the following day because I felt better. But because I had already told them doc said 3 days, I had to follow those instructions. (I'm in Canada, so I don't know how that differs in other countries)
My blood loss was minimal afterward, so I was more than ready to take on the world once again.

Everyone has a different reaction.
It could be mental (the finality of it) or physical (the pain, bleeding).

Sha259 · October 2014

I'm so sorry that you have to find yourself here.

I had what my RE called a gentle D&C at 8w5d. I continued to bleed for weeks after, specifically because I was still shedding my lining. I just stopped bleeding and just now have minimum discharge at 4 weeks since.

The D&C was not bad at all. We discovered the M/C on a Tuesday and I was lucky to have it on a Thursday and worked from home the next day. I had the weekend to relax too. By Monday I felt like normal, and going back to work was fine.

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