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May 2015 Moms
mamajama3
member
Keeping the secret
mamajama3
member
Just venting a little here...I've been isolating a bit and avoiding hanging out with some of my girl friends, mostly because I'm exhausted but also because we are keeping the secret that we are pregnant until we are around 12 weeks and I just don't think secrets could be kept by some folks.
While I can't tell all of my friends why I am being so antisocial lately, we will be letting them know soon enough that we are expecting when we get to about 12 weeks.
Here are the friend and the reasons (feel free to add yours below too):
1.) the friend who drinks all the time- I would love to join you, believe me what I wouldn't give for a nice cold beer or a glass of Sauvignon Blanc... Basically, I KNOW you'll know I'm pregnant if we hang out because the old me would be matching you glass for glass, and no excuse would really be believable and make sense.
2.) the friend who is a shameless blabber- you know I can't trust you to see me since you're totally nosy and observant (hence your success in your sales career), in fact you've told me really personal things about other friends that I totally had no business knowing. Plus you have already confided in me that you struggle with the fact that I got married recently and you are single in your late 30's and are jealous. You tell me you really want kids too- I feel like if you knew early maybe you might blab as a sort of revenge? That sounds awful but it's a fear. You know you couldn't keep your mouth shut, and I know one way or another you'd find out if you saw me.
3.) the coworker I confide in- we help each other all the time, and I know you care about me as a peer and human, but I know you're going through some serious reproductive medical issues right now of your own which may leave you unable to have kids (I feel so bad) and hearing about my stuff might be really hard to take and poor timing.
4.) the friend who competes- you just got married and are trying to conceive yourself- you talk to me about what we need to do to get pregnant as clearly you are the foremost authority on the subject, which is both funny and irritating at the same time. We are not close enough for me to tell you right now, plus it's kind of a competition with you sometimes and I really don't want to compete when it comes to pregnancy.
6.) the friend who is a little "blonde" (I can say that because I am blonde)- I would love to tell you, you will be so exited when you know and you are an awesome buddy, but you can be such a diarrhea mouth! I can just see you posting a congrats on Facebook or letting it slip to people, and I just can't take that chance.
Any friend types you can't tell before 12 weeks that I missed?
While I can't tell all of my friends why I am being so antisocial lately, we will be letting them know soon enough that we are expecting when we get to about 12 weeks.
Here are the friend and the reasons (feel free to add yours below too):
1.) the friend who drinks all the time- I would love to join you, believe me what I wouldn't give for a nice cold beer or a glass of Sauvignon Blanc... Basically, I KNOW you'll know I'm pregnant if we hang out because the old me would be matching you glass for glass, and no excuse would really be believable and make sense.
2.) the friend who is a shameless blabber- you know I can't trust you to see me since you're totally nosy and observant (hence your success in your sales career), in fact you've told me really personal things about other friends that I totally had no business knowing. Plus you have already confided in me that you struggle with the fact that I got married recently and you are single in your late 30's and are jealous. You tell me you really want kids too- I feel like if you knew early maybe you might blab as a sort of revenge? That sounds awful but it's a fear. You know you couldn't keep your mouth shut, and I know one way or another you'd find out if you saw me.
3.) the coworker I confide in- we help each other all the time, and I know you care about me as a peer and human, but I know you're going through some serious reproductive medical issues right now of your own which may leave you unable to have kids (I feel so bad) and hearing about my stuff might be really hard to take and poor timing.
4.) the friend who competes- you just got married and are trying to conceive yourself- you talk to me about what we need to do to get pregnant as clearly you are the foremost authority on the subject, which is both funny and irritating at the same time. We are not close enough for me to tell you right now, plus it's kind of a competition with you sometimes and I really don't want to compete when it comes to pregnancy.
6.) the friend who is a little "blonde" (I can say that because I am blonde)- I would love to tell you, you will be so exited when you know and you are an awesome buddy, but you can be such a diarrhea mouth! I can just see you posting a congrats on Facebook or letting it slip to people, and I just can't take that chance.
Any friend types you can't tell before 12 weeks that I missed?
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Keeping the secret
bfp #1 10/15/2009 m/c 11/4/09 10 weeks Lily you are not forgotten
bfp #2 4/5/2010 CP, m/c 4/12/10 5 weeks Baby Lo
Diagnosed PCOS 10/10 RX 1500 mg Metformin/day
bfp#3 4/5/2011 Missed m/c discovered 5/24/2011 (10w 5d) baby Asher stopped growing at 6 weeks
I know he is playing with his siblings in heaven right now...
rx'd factor II gene mutation 7/11 prescribed 5000 units Heparin daily
rx'd Sjogren's Disease 8/11
bfp #4 9-6-2012 RAINBOW Baby Ky born 5-9-13
bfp #5 8-26-14 RAINBOW #2 Due 5-8-2015
The friend that had a baby last year and did everything the exact opposite way you are doing things/plan to do things and you know that every conversation you're going to have from here on out is going to be comparing her experience with yours and you're just really not looking forward to those conversations.
The single friends (I'm on the young end of the spectrum, mid-20s, so most of our friends are single and childless) who talk about how they really don't like babies and how the handful of your friends who do have babies got super boring and baby obsessed and they don't want to keep losing their friends to babies. I don't want to lose these friends either - these are some of my favorite people - and I know our relationships will be different after the baby is born, but since I have the exact opposite ideas about parenting from Friend A, (who's extremely by-the-book and didn't get a babysitter to go on a date with her husband until the baby was one), I don't think these friends have quite as much to fear from us, but still I resist telling them.
THE DARK SIDE IT IS
and GBCB
BFP 8/2/12 EDD 4/9/13 Addie was delivered 1/4/13 at 26 weeks due to Eclampsia
BFP 9/15/14 EDD 5/28/15 Please be our R A I N B O W take home baby BOY
~All AL always welcome~