Post partum care

perfectlove09 · October 2014

has this been posted yet?
https://www.thedailybeast.com/witw/articles/2013/08/15/america-s-postpartum-practices.html?via=desktop&source=facebook

MaineMama · October 2014

This was posted on my FB by several people. While I HATE being hovered over (I leave the hospital as soon as possible) I wouldn't mind staying in my room at home with baby, no one bothering me except to bring me food. Someone else is more than welcome to take care of my other kids/cook/clean

perfectlove09 · October 2014

MaineMama said:
This was posted on my FB by several people. While I HATE being hovered over (I leave the hospital as soon as possible) I wouldn't mind staying in my room at home with baby, no one bothering me except to bring me food. Someone else is more than welcome to take care of my other kids/cook/clean

I feel the same way. I'd still want to help a little with dd so she didn't feel left out but if someone could come cook and clean and shop! Hell yeah I'd be on board lol.

lovelovelove09 · October 2014

I'm going to try to convince dh of this.

nesenotes · October 2014

Hm interesting must be a cultural difference thing. My mom stays for 2 weeks and my aunt comes over a lot to help. They cook, clean, hover, annoy me... :P j/K kind of

But really they stay and do everything. It's nice but I like to do everything myself. It will be handy this time though because of DD. So they have the task of keeping her out of my hair while I recover. I kind of look forward to how clean everything will be. They literally don't want you to lift a finger.

I know this is prevalent among Korean, Hispanic, and middle eastern cultures though. Even here in the US.

feeshah · October 2014

My family dropped everything to drive up to Washington state from California when I had DD. My mom, aunt, grandma, MIL, close family friend, SIL and her H really helped us out. DD was my first and I thought it was normal for everyone to be excited to see the new baby but they really really made life so much easier.
I protested at first, thinking and feeling like I should be able to do it all myself but my mom was like "No. Let us help you. You need to recover and rest. This is what family is for. When your daughter has kids you will do the same" I couldn't say no to that kind of logic. I

my mom.

perfectlove09 · October 2014

@feeshah and @nesenotes‌ that's really sweet. I need to let more help come this time and put them to work lol. Last time I felt too bad. I'm kinda wondering if I should skip the doula and spend money on postpartum help instead.
@SLC1102‌ My friend that posted this on FB actually had her first son in Taiwan and we all thought it was crazy that the native people were shocked to see her out with him so "early". We visited a lot and people just GUSHED over him bc they never saw a baby that wasn't at least 2 months old.

She's back in Taiwan again teaching English. Her son is with her and they just found out they are pg again lol. No one else knows but I'm guessing that's why she read this article.

Meether · October 2014

nesenotes said:

Hm interesting must be a cultural difference thing. My mom stays for 2 weeks and my aunt comes over a lot to help. They cook, clean, hover, annoy me... :P j/K kind of But really they stay and do everything. It's nice but I like to do everything myself. It will be handy this time though because of DD. So they have the task of keeping her out of my hair while I recover. I kind of look forward to how clean everything will be. They literally don't want you to lift a finger. I know this is prevalent among Korean, Hispanic, and middle eastern cultures though. Even here in the US.

I'm (South Asian) Indian and my parents come over to help along with anyone else, like my sister or cousins. They only offer to come, then it's up to me and how I feel. They bring food and drop it off or stay, again depending on us.... Most times with dd, I slept in the room or was nursing her while they stayed outside and hung out with DH. I loved it bc they never got in my way or felt the need to give shitty advice. DH is Caucasian/ Jewish and I already told him his parents are not welcomed. They re-organized our place last time to how they wanted it, kept pressuring me to bring her out of the room so they can feed her formula and told me she was sleeping too much. They seriously gave me anxiety and I was not comfortable with them, very invasive. My parents were so helpful and always said they were giving us time to get adjusted to OUR baby, no need to force themselves to get time in with her.

AlwaysForgetful · October 2014

I grew up with stories of mom and MIL coming to help with kids and take care of the new mom with each baby. I guess it was common. I know my mother had her mom come out with all 3 of us... I did not have that and I admit I am a little jealous. I can see how it could be stressful, but I can also see how it would help the mom bond and lessen PPD. Especially someone like me where my PPD issues revolve around how clean my house is. No, I am not a neat freak. lol But 5 kids can destroy a house in an hour or less. One "bad day" and it is pretty bad.

The best I get is "you shouldn't be doing....." lecture as Auntie grabs my baby.... Yeah... Well, I think she took 3 loads of laundry down last time because we were backing up and poor SO was trying. Still, there is a "I am here to cuddle and lecture you but not help" mentality. Boo! This time I have some good come backs, am not putting up with the BS and am going to be quite anal about holding of baby.

allfalldown14 · October 2014

My mom is coming to stay for a month. I don't plan on depending on her for everything during that time, but she will help share the load since I don't have a SO that will be here to help me.

Shortstack06 · October 2014

My husband will probably have the entire house cleaned by time I get out of the hospital, he is a neat freak but never cleans because he thinks I should. Joke is on him most of the time. While I love my family, as a FTM I really think I want time to myself without someone hovering. I know my mom and his mom will probably try to be there every day and lecturing me about my dog being too close to baby or this or that. I will probably snap and just leave my house and hide at my sister's. I really am stressing over not having privacy to adjust.

hollieandaaron2012 · October 2014

I work a lot of hours and so my husband and I have already adjusted to him doing the cleaning and cooking. My mom is also coming for hopefully two weeks. I think there is a lot of truth to this article. I visited my sister about two weeks after she had given birth and helped her out with cleaning and cooking and taking care of her oldest son for a weekend. She was still in a lot of pain. I think it is important for us to remember we are still recuperating and not do too much too soon.

Want a personalized experience?

Post partum care

Re: Post partum care

Choose Another Board

Search Boards