Family Hosting Baby Shower?

a5swanson · October 2014

Recently, my Mom, Sister and I got in a little bit of an argument. My sister and mah said it would be "tacky" and "not in good taste" for either of them to throw me a baby shower. Not that I care, or think that one of my close girlfriends wouldn't do it...but I was actually kind of shocked. They said it can look like the family is asking for gifts on your behalf or something? I don't get it. I recently went to TWO baby showers hosted by the pregnant mother's family and they were lovely. I thought nothing of it. Curious what you all think. Should a baby shower be hosted by a family member?

willowprincess · October 2014

I've always seen it thrown by mom/sister

acethebase · October 2014

I can't even believe we're talking about this already.

There is plenty of time so just see how things pan out.

a5swanson · October 2014

acethebase said:

I can't even believe we're talking about this already. There is plenty of time so just see how things pan out.

I know there is a lot of time. I'm certainly not stressing about it, but I was bewildered! What better place to come to than the message board to get a different perspective!? Isn't this what its for?

scprincessrn · October 2014

I don't care who throws the shower. I do think it's tacky to have a baby shower for a second baby if your first child isn't even in kindergarten yet.

acethebase · October 2014

Silv3rlining said:
It's considered poor etiquette. However it is accepted more these days

Hmm weird. I literally didn't even know that was poor etiquette although I could care less if I'm even thrown one.

acethebase · October 2014

I don't think it's tacky AT ALL!

ksimo6 · October 2014

My sister and aunt hosted mine. That's kind of the norm in my circle.

TeacherMama7 · October 2014

I think it depends on each family's traditions and state/region traditions. In my family, an aunt or a friend hosts the shower, never your mom. In my husband's family, the person's mom hosts the showers.

a5swanson · October 2014

@poohbearlove123 Nope! Didn't even know there was one until you mentioned it. Thanks for the tip!

@cscamina That's interesting about the family traditions take on it. I am the first out of ANY of my first cousins (19 with both sides of my family) to have a baby, so we don't really have anything established yet. Guess we will have to see!

TeacherMama7 · October 2014

Maybe your mom is thinking of traditions when she had her first baby? Did they throw you a wedding shower?

a5swanson · October 2014

@cscamina OK, so now we're getting into the weeds a bit, and sort of a long story haha, but no. I didn't have a wedding shower. DH and I had a pretty nontraditional wedding in the sense that we didn't have a wedding party, we got married at a bar and just had a big party. So we actually just didn't register for anything and used our wedding money for our trip to Europe...but here's the kicker:

My sister (the one who claims this is tacky) had an EXTRAVAGANT wedding and had my parents throw her a wedding shower that was like an evening party event that was coed and super nice and whatever. It was hosted by my Mom and Dad and at their home. So I'm kinda like...WTF? lol ohhh families can be weird, right?

TeacherMama7 · October 2014

I say, if they threw her a wedding shower they can throw you a baby shower!

a5swanson · October 2014

@Budders12 Oh dear, someone throwing it for themselves? Ehhh, yeah, that's a bit much. I totally know its early. It was more just like, the discussion was driving me nuts more than an actual shower. I was genuinely curious what the rest of the group thought...and happy its looking like I'll be vindicated in my argument, lol. Like, LOOK at this poll Mom...I'm right about this one, its 2015!

Thanks for biting.

wynnemac · October 2014

My sister threw one for us with several of my close friends and she is super into etiquette, but perhaps the friends joining made it ok?

kimmarie1105 · October 2014

Where I come from (NY) it's traditional for the mom to host the shower. As far as the bridal shower, that's hosted by your bridesmaids, not your mom. Irs so funny how things are so different in different parts of the country.

dojo1 · October 2014

I think that in some social circles it is seen as inappropriate while in others it is fine. Traditional etiquette accords with what your mom and sister are saying, but it's very common these days and I think in many social circles no one bats an eye when family hosts.

In my family we have a fine distinction in that my mother would never "host" a shower for either of her daughters, but my sister and I could host for each other. From a practical standpoint we had it at my mom and dad's house, my mom helped buy things / cook and set up, but didn't want the RSVP in her name.

If you have a close aunt or close family friend maybe your mom could put feelers out to see if they would host if she or your sister are not comfortable having your sister host.

Ravenclaw314 · October 2014

In Missouri, families host everything but the bachelor/ette parties and bridal showers (although, the MOH is commonly a sister anyway, who hosts the latter).

papillon025 · October 2014

I don't even know how to respond to the poll because this is news to me! My sister wanted to throw me a shower but I insisted not having one because the whole idea of "come to my party and give me presents!" makes me extremely uncomfortable. I never heard it was bad etiquette, though.

afulcher23 · October 2014

Traditional etiquette is that it is in poor taste, for the reasons your mother mentioned. However, that is generally considered out-dated and 99.9% of people probably don't even notice who's hosting!

Schnurette · October 2014

My mom wouldn't host a baby shower for my first, saying it was tacky... this after hosting a bridal shower for me to which she invited literally everyone she had ever met who might have even vaguely known who I was. She invited her new neighbor (who owned a shop I went to a lot in highschool but who I didn't really know per se) and I met this neighbor walking into the shower from the parking lot and she asked if I was excited for my sisters wedding.

My mothers aunt also straight up asked if I knew who she was during the shower which was awwwwwwwesome.

benjysgirl · October 2014

My mom and MIL are throwing me one together! I've never even heard of that being "weird" or "tacky." I honestly could not care less who throws someone a shower. As long as said person and their DH is not throwing it.....who cares! In Georgia where we are from....the mom or sister or best friend or ALL THREE OF THEM, generally throw the baby shower.

Want a personalized experience?

Family Hosting Baby Shower?

Family Hosting Baby Shower? 99 votes

Re: Family Hosting Baby Shower?

Choose Another Board

Search Boards