Doula questions?

taylojade57 · October 2014

I guess first, how many of you are going to use a doula for the birth?

A person on my local military wife fb page just posted that she is working on her DONA certification and is offering free services while she finishes her certification. So I asked her to message me with more information. When she messaged, she asked what information I wanted, and I have completely blanked. What kinds of questions did you ask when looking for a doula?

jessinaround · October 2014

I would ask what her services include. Will she help you make a birth plan? Does she see/visit you before labor so you can get a feel for each other? Does she prefer to attend a prenatal visit with you to meet your doctor?

taylojade57 · October 2014

Free is definitely what caught my eye. DH has been asking me about wanting to get one, but around here they are $600-800+ so this could definitely be good!

brookey79 · October 2014

I've only heard good things about having a doula. I would love to get one, but they cost $800-1500 here and I just can't afford that. Free sounds amazing!

jayellekay · October 2014

I used a doula with my DD. Totally worth it, and if I had the opportunity to have someone do the same for free this time, I'd do it again. Not spending the money the second time around. I'd ask to meet her for coffee or something somewhere, so you can get a feel for her personality. Bring a list of questions, like, would she be on-call 24/7 around your due date? What services does she provide? Is she also a lactation consultant? If you need a c-section, is she comfortable providing support for that? If you decide to get pain medication, will she be supportive? Is she comfortable advocating for you, or just telling you what you should say/ask? Does she visit you at your home postpartum to check on you?

Cheekers2010 · October 2014

I'm a doula. And I'll have a doula at this birth, too. DONA had a list of questions to ask your doula on their website.

ColoradoBoat · October 2014

I definitely second meeting her. I picked our doula based on who felt right, and I would definitely go for free unless you got really weird vibes from her or something. We're paying $650 and have a contract for a prenatal meeting (we've already met her once for coffee), her being on call for 24/7 around our birth date, being there for the whole labor plus 2 hours post, and one postpartum visit. Oh, and if she can't be there for some reason or if the doc schedules a C section, we get our full money back in the first example or only pay 1/2 price in the second. I may pay her for some postpartum help as well but may save funds for an LC. Not sure yet.

Ask about her background. How many births has she been a part of? Again, I picked our doula because she felt right, but part of that is her background (former EMT in the Air Force, has 3 kids herself) and she just seems like someone who wouldn't be a pushover. I'm having a hospital birth and am hoping to avoid a Csection (mom and sister both had them). I want someone who knows about the business of birth and who can advocate for me, DH, and our baby.

So do some thinking on what you want in a doula. I am someone who has no problem standing up for myself, my money (you overcharged me by $3!--yep, that's me

, etc. DH, however, is more the type to go with the flow. Considering I don't know what condition I'll be in, I want someone there who will push if needed.

Hope this works out!!

perfectlove09 · October 2014

I kinda just told doulas what I was looking for. Over email. Setting up a time to meet one of them next week. She is $650 based off of what I told her I want/expect. I guess that's more useful if you've done this before.

Good luck though! Free would be awesome lol

SkateyC · October 2014

Doulas are awesome! (I'm biased because I used to be one, but still.)

I'd ask how many births she's been to, what training she's done, when she goes on call for your birth. Does she have a back up? (If she had something come up and couldn't attend, does someone else cover her?)
What kind of supports does she use most often? Talk to her about the things you'd like for your birth and ask about ways she'd support you around that. If you're considering a medicated birth, get her thoughts on that. You want someone with a similar philosophy to you, who will support you in the type of birth you want.

But most of all, meet her for coffee and get a feel for how you 'click'. You want someone you'll feel comfortable with. Good luck!

kboyet · October 2014

Thanks for posting! I am getting ready to interview so this was helpful!

MaineMama · October 2014

I think it is also good to be upfront about YOUR needs/preferences. Clearly communicate before hand what kind of support is best for you. PPs were telling you to ask about massage, ect. I hate that shit. So if it were me interviewing a doula, I'd want to clearly communicate my need for a different kind of support. Just a thought.

Eora3 · October 2014

Ask her to describe her typical involvement in a birth.

Is she able to meet with you ahead of time to discuss your goals and concerns?

How will you contact her when you go into labor and how quickly can she be available? Will she come to your home to support you through early labor or just meet you at the hospital later?

How does she help the SO be involved?

Does she use essential oils/massage/accupressure?

Is she willing to help you voice concerns and preferences to the nurses and doctors if you are in pain and having trouble speaking?

Is she able to help out after delivery (helping to get breast feeding started)?

ColeyCannoli · October 2014

I've talked to a few. I'm lucky because I've seen some free ones and the most expensive one here was $650 but had a lot of experience.

She even helped me with questions to ask. If she has backup, if she has her own kids - does she have reliable childcare, how far away is she from your home/hospital/birth center, can she help with breastfeeding, how long after birth will she stay, will she meet with you before or after the birth... but mostly just ask her about her philosophy and why she's a doula. Get a feel for if you two mesh well.

Doulas are awesome. Mine has already taken so much stress away. If you can get someone still learning/needs to do one for free and you feel safe with them - it's so worth it.

2JEL · October 2014

ColoradoBoat said:

Ask about her background. How many births has she been a part of? Again, I picked our doula because she felt right, but part of that is her background (former EMT in the Air Force, has 3 kids herself) and she just seems like someone who wouldn't be a pushover. I'm having a hospital birth and am hoping to avoid a Csection (mom and sister both had them). I want someone who knows about the business of birth and who can advocate for me, DH, and our baby.

So do some thinking on what you want in a doula. I am someone who has no problem standing up for myself, my money (you overcharged me by $3!--yep, that's me , etc. DH, however, is more the type to go with the flow. Considering I don't know what condition I'll be in, I want someone there who will push if needed.

This is exactly why I am looking for a doula-- I want someone who is medically knowledgeable and will advocate for me, but also one who is sufficiently grounded in modern medicine that she won't be in the way of the doctor/nurse if an actual medical emergency arises. I'd like to stay as low intervention as possible, but would prefer to have an experienced, cool-headed, objective party in the room to consult as to whether or not that's a good idea and give me a rundown of the pros and cons.

I also have a less rational fear of being overlooked by overworked medical staff or forgotten about in a triage room, etc. (having seen this visiting friends/family at various hospitals) and I suspect my husband could wait indefinitely before going off to raise hell.

Edited to add the actually useful part of the post: One thing I would recommend is figuring out what you want: support, advocacy, etc. and getting a sense of whether or not the potential doula is likely to be aggressive or cooperative when working with doctors. For me, it's a matter of finding the fine line between being sufficiently knowledgeable and confident enough to contradict a doctor's suggestion but aware of the times that the best thing she can do for me is hold my hand as they wheel us into the OR.

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