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how do I handle this..

WLJ2WLJ2 member
in Single Parents
In your opinions how would you handle this. My son is 3 almost 4. He has been asking about playing soccer for a while now. To the point where the conversation comes up several times a week now. We have to drive by the soccer fields to get home which is probably why the conversation comes up frequently. The only way he could play is if we signed him up for a league that plays every Sunday.

My ex has him every other weekend and has refused to bring him to soccer games. (30 min drive) and has refused to let me get him early on Sundays so he could play. He also went as far as to tell our sin that if he played soccer he wouldn't get to see him any more.

The way i see it i have two options. I either sign him up knowing he will miss half the genes or he doesn't play. The ex doesn't feel any extras such as swimming, gymnastics, soccer ect. are needed at his age. Says he can play when he's older. I guess I'm just frustrsted. Would you sign him up knowing he would only be there half the time.

Thanks :)
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Re: how do I handle this..

  • UnknownUnknown
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  • tig594tig594 member
    Seems like a waste of time if your ex isn't going to participate.  Sad for your son.  You ex is a douchebag, imho.   /:)
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  • 20thirteen20thirteen member
    I don't understand why he doesn't think your LO is old enough.  My nephew has been part of a t-ball team since he was 3 (almost 5 now).  They (park district or whatever) wouldn't offer sports for children at 3/4/5 if they didn't think it would be beneficial to them.  Especially team sports.  Team sports help children to socialize and learn to work with each other, which is something all kids need to learn.

    Is his thinking more along the lines of he thinks you're going to ask to him to help pay for?  Also, why is he telling your LO that if he wants to play sports then he won't see his father? That right there is manipulative. Is it just because he won't drive him to a game?  Is there a CO for visitation?  

    Sorry to ask so many questions, but I want to give as good as an answer as I can.

    Also, like @becwheat suggested, I would also look into indoor soccer leagues.
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  • WLJ2WLJ2 member
    @becwheat‌ There is nothing in the order. X says we can revisit this when he's older. But she's the same person that said preschool doesn't matter and if I want him to go it will be on my scheduled time. I have looked into many leagues, even some by where X lives but they only have them during the week. We could not possibly get there from my work in time.

    @20thirteen‌ No, he doesn't think he would have to pay for it. I think he's telling him that because he would leave his dad's a couple hours early to play. As in would you rather play or see me kind of thing.
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  • 20thirteen20thirteen member
    I don't know. That still seems unfair to me.  Your son is showing interest in playing, is vocalizing that interest to both you and his father.  Even if X thinks he's too young, would it really kill him to support the kid and be at soccer games? If there was not a league for him for his age, I could see why X wouldn't want to put him on a team, but there is.  So why stop him from playing?

    Of course, this is just my opinion and gut reaction. I might have to sit and stew about this before I come up with something that might help you...
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