drugs

rachelandjoel5 · October 2014

not sure what I should do, I absolutely adore my boyfriend, he is my whole world, but he promised me when I fell pregnant - NO MORE DRUGS. well a few weeks back, he was nagging me asking if he could, I said I don't mind (clearly sarcasm, had the angriest face) and he still did. just tonight I walked in on him at a friends house about to do it again. I'm not sure not sure how to feel or how to react. We live together I spend every minute of every day with him, and he's broken this promise and lied to me about it twice now, he knows how much I hate drugs. I need help

xxx

HZ2012 · October 2014

Time to think about your baby and if you want him/her around that type of behavior and in that environment. Sounds like your boyfriend has some growing up to do or rehab to attend.

rachelandjoel5 · October 2014

I will admit that was a mistake, but I did make it VERY obvious that I was to being serious, I was absolutely furious at the time.

deehoneybear · October 2014

If it's something serious then you need to draw a line but in my opinion marijuana is the only "drug" that isn't harmful , just make sure his personality doesn't change - remember you knew who he was before you got pregnant & loved him anyway .

MPKbaby237 · October 2014

This is an addiction. He can't promise it away. He needs serious help but you can't force him. He has to be ready on his own.
Are you willing to leave him for the sake of your child if he chooses his own path which is different than your wishes? If so, don't wait until the birth. Let him know you mean business now. He has a choice, just like you have a choice in this situation. Don't settle!

rachelandjoel5 · October 2014

thankyou everyone, I think I'll do what's best for me and bubs.. I'm getting him to stay at his parents house for the time being until he sorts himself out, I just hope it's before delivery! thanks again xxx

Ncountrygal · October 2014

Maybe see if he's willing to do some type of therapy. That would be better than more promises. Keep yourself and baby safe!

kayw2021 · October 2014

I had to go through the same thing. you need to draw the line and say either go to rehab and get clean for your family, or we will see you in court for child support in April. As bad as that sucks to say and as much as you love him you have to think about what's best for the baby now. when I said that my boyfriend straighted out he's been clean for almost a month. thoughts and prayers for you and your child. good luck.

SuperFudge00 · October 2014

I also must know what drug. That won't change your mind but it will skew my reaction.

More importantly, don't ever send mixed messages and then get mad at him. You said he could in his mind. And I don't mean to be judgy because I do this too. But if it is something serious, say exactly what you mean!!

ScarletOflaherty · October 2014

I honestly don't think it matters 'what drug', the problem here is less the drug and more the broken promise.

lindsayanne14 · October 2014

I guess in my mind once you are expecting and/or a mother the well being of your child always needs to superceed a BF or DH you "adore". If you feel his drug use (recreational or habitual) is a detriment to your child's well being then your responsibility lies with protecting your child. For me, in my life, abuse of drugs and alcohol is a deal breaker. Seeing their father abuse a substance is not something I'm willing to subject my children to, it just isn't happening. Hopefully your BF can pull it together and honor his promises to you and his growing family...both you and your LO deserve it.

SuperFudge00 · October 2014

ScarletOflaherty said:
I honestly don't think it matters 'what drug', the problem here is less the drug and more the broken promise.

I ask drug because, IMO, alcohol is worse than pot, despite the legalities.

BabiesEverywhere · October 2014

SuperFudge00 said:

ScarletOflaherty said:
I honestly don't think it matters 'what drug', the problem here is less the drug and more the broken promise.
I ask drug because, IMO, alcohol is worse than pot, despite the legalities.

I agree that some drugs are worse than others but I think she's right that the biggest issue is the lie/broken promise. Now she ultimately can't trust anything he says. "I wouldn't ever use drugs around our kid." Or "I would never do a more serious/dangerous drug." Seems like it would be risky to leave him alone with the kid even if he's a great guy outside of his drug problem. That's not something worth messing with in my opinion. I think OP needs to remove herself from the situation until he gets help. Being a single parent would be really hard but that's better than parenting with someone who might put your kid at risk.

knitfastdiewarm · October 2014

Let's say hypothetically that after the baby is here he gets in trouble and it comes to light that you KNEW he was doing drugs and still chose to have your child around him, you could both lose custody; even temporarily. It's time to put your baby first. Good Job for asking him to stay with his parents until he can get help.

[Deleted User] · October 2014

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[Deleted User] · October 2014

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doysauze · October 2014

Im a professional researcher an im sorry but there are quite a few latge cale studies (the most popular being done in jamaica iver a 30 year period by an amerian scientist) that do say thtarijuana is harmless. Do some research before you make claims liek these.

SuperFudge00 · October 2014

Personally I believe in living by example and couldn't, with a straight face, preach for my kids to stay drug free if I wasn't. Same goes for tobacco or anything else I plan to preach about.

However, OP was cryptic about her objection and knew what her SO was into. It is hard to quit anything cold turkey.

miahbelle · October 2014

angi3o said:

doysauze said:
Im a professional researcher an im sorry but there are quite a few latge cale studies (the most popular being done in jamaica iver a 30 year period by an amerian scientist) that do say thtarijuana is harmless. Do some research before you make claims liek these.
Let me just say that if I did think "thtarijuana" was horrible I wouldn't take any advice from a "researcher" pulling their facts from a study done in Jamaica, especially not when I can barely make out what you're saying.

^^ amen

Denise91980 · October 2014

doysauze said:
Im a professional researcher an im sorry but there are quite a few latge cale studies (the most popular being done in jamaica iver a 30 year period by an amerian scientist) that do say thtarijuana is harmless. Do some research before you make claims liek these.

A. Is this English?
B. Get your facts straight. Anything you are lighting and breathing into your lungs is harmful.
C. As a therapist, I have seen quite a few adolescents and adults have psychotic breaks or experience derealization after using marijuana. Granted, it may not have been straight up THC but you don't know what you are getting unless you are growing your own.

Denise91980 · October 2014

RHoPA1109 said:

doysauze said:

Im a professional researcher an im sorry but there are quite a few latge cale studies (the most popular being done in jamaica iver a 30 year period by an amerian scientist) that do say thtarijuana is harmless. Do some research before you make claims liek these.

Just...LOLOL. I hope this is a joke.

Looks like someone is a very active participant in their own "research" study..LOL

[Deleted User] · October 2014

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[Deleted User] · October 2014

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