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Trouble TTC a Sibling
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Why?

MommytoacupcakeMommytoacupcake member
in Trouble TTC a Sibling
I really had some hope for this cycle. Peeing every 45-60 mins, falling asleep on the couch every night at 8:00, nausea....then tonight at 12 dpo I start spotting and cramping and AF is on the way, 2 days early. I'm just so heartbroken...again...and feel like this isn't fair, understandable or manageable. CD1 through CD3 are really extra tough on me and I just feel depressed. I guess I feel bitter too...why do people get pregnant by accident but we can't when we are trying so hard? Why do people who abuse their kids have 6 of them? Why do people who love children and want to become parents have trouble? I know this is so "poor me, poor us" but sometimes I just feel so bitter and hurt. Thanks for listening.
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Re: Why?

  • emsmama15emsmama15 member
    I could have written this post. I feel so bitter sometimes. It's not right or fair! I'm so sorry for your disappointment. I hope your appointments give you some answers and a plan. Are they this month? Good luck and hang in there.
    *** Child & current pregnancy mentioned ***
    Me - 41 (PCOS), Hubby - 43 (healthy)
    7/2013 - Sweet baby girl born (Clomid + TI)
    3/2014 - TTC #2, return to RE 7/2014
    12/2015: IVF #1 transferred two great looking embryos - BFP!
    First ultrasound: TWO beautiful little heartbeats!!
    Harmony: negative; level 2: babies look great and are boy/girl! :) 
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  • MommytoacupcakeMommytoacupcake member
    Thanks so much! I appreciate the understanding bc the bitterness makes me feel bad...that isn't me. But this experience brings it out for me. It's so hard isn't it? Such a rollercoaster. Our appt is on the 24th...so that helps to know help is on the way! Do you ever feel with TTTC that people ask more about "when's the next one?" Bc they sort of assume if you've had one you couldn't possibly be dealing with infertility? It's like c'mon people!!!! Have some sensitivity!!!! We are being asked constantly now that DD is 18 months.
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  • emsmama15emsmama15 member
    Yes, it's constant! And a fair number of people know we took Clomid the first time around. They still ask. I have a co-worker who kept asking me if I was pregnant yet. Wth? I think she finally got a clue either from my tone or expression. It's a difficult spot to be in. No one likes being the bitter girl. But, that's why you have the women here. We're the people you can admit all that stuff to and we totally get it... And no judgement. :)
    *** Child & current pregnancy mentioned ***
    Me - 41 (PCOS), Hubby - 43 (healthy)
    7/2013 - Sweet baby girl born (Clomid + TI)
    3/2014 - TTC #2, return to RE 7/2014
    12/2015: IVF #1 transferred two great looking embryos - BFP!
    First ultrasound: TWO beautiful little heartbeats!!
    Harmony: negative; level 2: babies look great and are boy/girl! :) 
    Report Reply
  • lilmac2929lilmac2929 member
    So sorry :( I know it is all so very unfair.  I just want to go around and steal all the abused/unloved kids and love them up.  So sad.  Big hugs for htis cycle. 
    DS: Born November 2011
    TTC #2 since April '13
    DH 35, Me: 34
    DX: Unexplained Secondary Infertility, Slight DOR
    Sept 14 - IUI (Clomid + Ovidrel) = BFN
    Oct 14 - IUI (Clomid + Ovidrel + Progesterone) = BFN
    Nov 14- Benched due to cysts Looking for New Doc
    Feb - IUI #3 (Letrozole + Ovridrel)
    March/April - IVF #1 - Antagonist Protocol - Follistim+HGH+Low Dose HCG - 11R/9M/5F - 2 8 cell 3dtransfer - BFN on April 23, 2014


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  • uromysuromys member
    I'm sorry you are having an off day. DH and I get asked when the next one is coming all the time. After my MMC I got a little more mouth about the question. FX for this cycle!

    DH & I are both 28    Together: 12 years    Married: 09/24/2011

    BFP#1: January '12 - DD1 09/16/2012

    Preterm labor 31 weeks. Monitored for Hellp and diagnosed with oligohydramnios July '12

    BFP #2: 06/25 - EDD 03/05/15 MMC confirmed 8/1 - D&E 8/4 retained tissue discovered 8/20

    BFP #3 11/24 - 12/15 Heartbeat detected - DD2 07/29/15

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  • Chasity08Chasity08 member
    IF sucks. And sometimes we just need to have those kinds of days. Take it easy today.

    ***Signature/Ticker Warning***

    March 2008 - DD born - no issues conceiving (surprise). Limited issues during pregnancy/delivery.
    June 2011 - Married DH.
    June 2013 - Diagnosis of Endometriosis and PCOS (approximate).
    December 2013 - First cycle of Clomid - Positive OPK. BFN
    January 2014 - 2nd Cycle of Clomid - Positive OPK. BFN
    February 2014 - 3rd Cycle of Clomid - Positive OPK. BFN
    March 2014 - Took month off to prep for surgery
    April 2014 - Laporoscopy for endo. Unable to remove endo due to too close of proximity to ureter. HSG done as well. Fillopian tubes open.
    May 2014 - 1st round of Femara. Positive OPK. BFN.
    June 2014 - 2nd round of Femara. Moved to RE to have CD10 Follicular U/S. No Follies in left ovary. 5 follies in right. Largest follie 8mm, 1 7mm, 2 3mm, 1 2mm. Positive OPK on day of U/S. BFN. DH has SA done at this time - All results within normal limits.
    July 2014 - 3rd round of Femara. CD10 Follicular U/S. No follies in left ovary. 7 follies in right. 1 20mm, 1 12mm, 1 10mm, 4 <5mm. Scheduled for IUI. Canceled due to low estrogen level of 145. TI this month. Prepping for Injectables next month. BFN.
    August 2014 - CD3 BW Normal. Injectables not happening because of stupid miscommunication about "required injectables class." Taking class this month. No medication. TI for the month. SIS scheduled for 8/7/14. SIS results - "I have a beautiful uterus." Huzzah!
    September 2014 - Cycle cancelled due to stupid AF coming early and making my IUI run in to DH's business trip. Try again next month.
    October 2014 - Injects with IUI cycle. 75U 5 days. Estrogen at 36. Bumped up to 125 for 4 days. Estrogen 105. Bumped up to 225. Ganirelix for 2 days. 4 mature follies. Triggered 10/9. IUI 10/10.
    BFP 10/24/2014. Beta #1 - 178   Beta #2 - 398.   U/S 11/7/14- TWINS!!!!

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