Trouble TTC

I think I need some help...

Has anyone else had the lap surgery on stage 4 endo?? How did you feel after. Not just physically. I am overly emotional. I already have a bad anxiety disorder but I've been in therapy and working hard on it I've been feeling better. But ever since the surgery I feel like I am constantly on the cusp of an anxiety attack. I can't breath I feel numb and upside down I don't feel safe I can't get comfortable in my own skin I'm just not happy. And I can't ever remember feeling this horrible. I'm not sure if it's stress or my anxiety or something else but I can barely eat. I can make it through half a "kind" bar, maybe a waffle, and less than a hand full of cheese nips. That's all I eat in a from being awake at 6 to going to be at 11/12 I just don't feel like me. Am I crazy? I tried to call in to get an earlier apt with my therapist but she is out of town till the 29 which is our next apt anyway. I have never felt so lost and I can't understand why I feel like this. My body is telling me I need to at more but I gag just thinking about food. I feel like I have to say sorry for everything and my first day back to work from the surgery I feel like I just can't get it right. Surgery was on 10/02
Endometriosis Confirmed 
2 Large "Chocolate Cyst" Found
Both Ovaries 
Post op as of 10-02-14 BFN 

Re: I think I need some help...

  • I'm so sorry you're struggling right now. It is not unheard of for anxiety to get triggered before and after surgery. Your body's energy is now focused on recovery from surgery and spending less time balancing the neurotransmitters that regulate the fight or flight response. You're definitely not crazy!

    What kind of anxiety management techniques has your therapist taught you (deep breathing, progressive muscle relaxation, etc)? What has helped you manage your anxiety in the past?

    Me: 28  MH:35

    Married September 2012. TTC since September 2013

    June 2014 - Dx w/ significant PCOS and referred to RE.

    July/August 2014 - Testing complete: Testosterone & AMH very high, FSH slightly high, Vitamin D low, tubes and lining all lovely. DH SA: A+

    Cycle 1 (Nov 2014): 2.5 mg Letrozole/Ovidrel/TI = BFN

    Cycle 2 (Dec 2014): 5 mg Letrozole/Ovidrel/TI - BFN

    Cycle 3 (Jan 2015): 5mg Letrozole/Ovidrel/TI - BFN

    WTF consult scheduled for 1/29

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  • I'm so sorry you're struggling right now. It is not unheard of for anxiety to get triggered before and after surgery. Your body's energy is now focused on recovery from surgery and spending less time balancing the neurotransmitters that regulate the fight or flight response. You're definitely not crazy!

    What kind of anxiety management techniques has your therapist taught you (deep breathing, progressive muscle relaxation, etc)? What has helped you manage your anxiety in the past?


    Deep breathing normally and it helps to talk to someone else during an attack I can describe how I feel and what's going on mentally emotionally and physically. It sort of helps me find what ever triggered it and I get a better handle on it. But it doesn't seem to be helping this time.
    Endometriosis Confirmed 
    2 Large "Chocolate Cyst" Found
    Both Ovaries 
    Post op as of 10-02-14 BFN 
  • I'm so sorry you're struggling right now. It is not unheard of for anxiety to get triggered before and after surgery. Your body's energy is now focused on recovery from surgery and spending less time balancing the neurotransmitters that regulate the fight or flight response. You're definitely not crazy! What kind of anxiety management techniques has your therapist taught you (deep breathing, progressive muscle relaxation, etc)? What has helped you manage your anxiety in the past?
    Deep breathing normally and it helps to talk to someone else during an attack I can describe how I feel and what's going on mentally emotionally and physically. It sort of helps me find what ever triggered it and I get a better handle on it. But it doesn't seem to be helping this time.

    https://www.helpguide.org/articles/stress/relaxation-techniques-for-stress-relief.htm

    Maybe check this link out. This site is REALLY great and I reference it when I'm working with clients. Skip down to the Relaxation Technique section. Sounds like the first one you've already been doing, but it isn't enough right now. I wonder if Progressive Muscle Relaxation might be helpful (Relaxation Tip 2). This site tells you exactly how to do it and gives you a full sequence of the progression. Visualization (Relaxation Tip 5) may also be helpful.


    (comforting and not-too-tight) hugs to you!!  PM me if you need (**seriously**) 

    Me: 28  MH:35

    Married September 2012. TTC since September 2013

    June 2014 - Dx w/ significant PCOS and referred to RE.

    July/August 2014 - Testing complete: Testosterone & AMH very high, FSH slightly high, Vitamin D low, tubes and lining all lovely. DH SA: A+

    Cycle 1 (Nov 2014): 2.5 mg Letrozole/Ovidrel/TI = BFN

    Cycle 2 (Dec 2014): 5 mg Letrozole/Ovidrel/TI - BFN

    Cycle 3 (Jan 2015): 5mg Letrozole/Ovidrel/TI - BFN

    WTF consult scheduled for 1/29

  • I'm so sorry you are feeling so off. I second @LindseyM2012 's recommendation to try out some different relaxation techniques. I also think that @BlueFairy5 makes some great points about taking a step back and observing the anxiety... sometimes fighting a feeling only makes it stronger, whereas accepting that feeling and recognizing it as uncomfortable but temporary is more helpful. It sounds like it's very normal to feel off after going through a surgery, so go easy on yourself! Since your therapist is out of town, I wonder if she has someone on call to address any client concerns... it might be helpful to talk to someone, even if it isn't your primary therapist, until she gets back on the 29th. Sending you lots of hugs!

    Me: 27 DH: 35

    TTC #1 Since July 2013

    Started RE Testing July 2014

    2 HSG tests: Right tube is blocked, possible endo.

    TSH elevated, started Synthroid 25 mg daily.

    October, 2014: Femara 5 mg + TI ---> 3 follies on blocked tube side ---> BFN

    November, 2014: Femara + Ovidrel + IUI#1--2 follies (on the good side), 46 mil. motile sperm=BFN

    Nov-Dec 2014: Femara + Ovidrel + IUI #2 (1 follie, 76 mil. motile sperm) + Endometrin=BFN

    January, 2014: Femara + Ovidrel + IUI #3 (1 follie, 38 mil. motile sperm)=???

    New RE appt. scheduled for 1/14.


    3T January Siggy Challenge: New Years Resolutions

    Mine: Lose the weight I put on from booze and cookies over Christmas.

    image


  • Just wanted to give you a big Hug (((( ))))
    I'm sure like the rest of our wise sisters have said, that this will pass - your body is in a sort of shock from the anasthesia and the hormones being jumped around.
    Regarding eating, from all my holistic nutritionist knowledge (I am not one but practically could be from all the stuff I know/try) you should be focusing on nourishing your body.  

    - soups (especially with broth made from bones - such as chicken or beef bones)

    - make infusion with nettles, linden flowers, or red clover (1 oz in a 1 qt mason jar, boiling water over it and steep for overnight. strain and drink the quart that next day)

    Maybe if that's too much to deal with someone (your husband? a girlfriend?) could bring you good nourishing broths and give you a nice massage?
    XXX
     
    TTC#1 since Aug 2013, I'm 37, DH 41.  
    Maya Arvigo Abdominal massage (daily self care), plus TTC meditations.
    I'm very sensitive to diet (gluten, avoid processed foods) and environment. Have a history of inflammation and tendinitis before going off gluten in 2009.  
    July 2014 - RE Visit #1: Eggs look good, Endometrioma on R ovary, HSG showed blocked R tube close to ovary. DH SA normal 
    DX: Endometriosis probably the IF cause and gunking up tubes.  Since egg reserve is high, RE says I can wait a couple months and then get laproscopic surgery to remove endo & clear tube.  If that doesn't help then move to IVF. 
    Dec 2014 - Saw new RE - does not recommend surgery on tube as it isn't likely to help.  Doubts I have endometriosis.  My endometrioma shrunk to neglible size (yay!) 
    Seriously considering IVF in March/April
    12/17/14 - Natural BFP! 
  • I hope you're doing alright.

    Me: 28  MH:35

    Married September 2012. TTC since September 2013

    June 2014 - Dx w/ significant PCOS and referred to RE.

    July/August 2014 - Testing complete: Testosterone & AMH very high, FSH slightly high, Vitamin D low, tubes and lining all lovely. DH SA: A+

    Cycle 1 (Nov 2014): 2.5 mg Letrozole/Ovidrel/TI = BFN

    Cycle 2 (Dec 2014): 5 mg Letrozole/Ovidrel/TI - BFN

    Cycle 3 (Jan 2015): 5mg Letrozole/Ovidrel/TI - BFN

    WTF consult scheduled for 1/29

  • I had no appetite after surgery for quite a while, and both the anesthesia and the pain meds made me feel really messed up!

    I second PPs, it sounds like a good phone call or visit with another counselor can help you sort out what is physical and what is anxiety, and be easier on yourself as you heal. :) 
    January 3T Siggy Challenge - New Year's Resolutions
    image
    imageimage

    Me (29), DH (30) TTC actively 54 55+ cycles | All BFNs
    MFI (low everything) | Endo Stage 1 & Stenotic Cervix (treated) | PCO
    Married - July 2008 | Started TTC - Jan 2009RE Visit #1 - Mar 2014 
    IUI #1 ICI #1 - June | IUI #1.1 Laparoscopy - Aug
    IUIs #1.2, 2, 3 - Sept, Oct, Nov (Letrozole) - BFNs 
    IUI #4 - Dec (Bravelle) | IUI #5 - Dec/Jan (Bravelle) - 5 follies + TI - BFNs
    IUI #5.1 - Jan (Bravelle) Cancelled 
    Planning to start IVF in March!
    ***All Welcome***
  • I don't have any experience with this, but I hope you feel better soon :)
    ****SIGGY WARNING****

    image





    TTC since May 2013

    Me: 31, blocked tube
    DH: 35, azoospermia :(
    IUI #1 (50 mg Clomid, Ovidrel) on 9/7/2014: BFN
    IUI #2 (100 mg Clomid, Ovidrel) on 10/3/2014:
    BFN
    IUI #3 (100 mg Clomid, Ovidrel, Estradiol) on 11/1/2014: BFN
    First RE appt. on 11/11/2014
    November 2014: Benched due to cyst :(
    IUI #4 (5 mg Letrozole, Follistim, Ovidrel, Crinone) on 12/26/2014: BFP!!!
    Beta 1 (1/9/2015): 292     Beta 2 (1/12/2015): 843


  • I don't have any experience with Endo or Laproscopy but I do have experience with anxiety. Since starting to deal with IF I have had some bad anxiety. I'm about to start IVF and my anxiety is through the roof, so I feel your pain. I see a therapist also and she helps me tremendously. I take a brisk walk every evening, or at least most evenings and I do try to do some Yoga as well, the Yoga is a big help. Managing my anxiety seems like a full time job lately. If all else fails and I am having an exceptionally bad day I have a script for Xanax, I don't take it often but every now and then I take one and it takes the edge off, but that's a last resort. Be kind to yourself and ((hugs)).


    TTC #1

    Me: AMA, DH: MFI

    Official DX - MFI due to Hemochromatosis

    IVF #1 Nov. 2014 - ER 11/10 (10R 6M 6F) - ET 11/13 

    3DT of 3 embies - no frosties - CP = BFFN!!!!

    ****All Welcome****

    imageimage



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