What do you do ?

deehoneybear · October 2014

what do you do when your family disapproved of your partner but you love him to pieces ? What do you do when you constantly hear negative things that just make you sad ? I'm still young and live with my mother but I get tired of hearing her complain when my man does nothing but work really hard .. %-(

Ncountrygal · October 2014

I'm so sorry you are going through this! Is there any truth to what your mom is saying? If she's just plain out of line, you need to tell her that. Set some boundaries with her, for example, if you talk about my partner this way, I'm not going to be able to continue this conversation. Then leave. Stick to your guns when she crosses the line.

Ncountrygal · October 2014

Also, are you in a position to move out if you need to? A little distance can go a long way toward diffusing a situation.

redneckmomma25 · October 2014

I guess for me I value and trust my family's opinion and their judge of character. So if I were in the situation and everyone disapproved I would probably rethink some things. However, if I did not value their opinion or think they are good character judges then I would dismiss what they were saying. Or if I new there was some other reason they didn't like the person.

I think you still need to be respectful to your mom but she needs to be as well. You don't need to be consistently reminded of their opinion especially when it is negative. You know how she feels and now you need to figure out if her opinions are valid or not.

SuperFudge00 · October 2014

Living under her roof gives her some rights to say how she feels. First would probably be that he can't support you and baby if you are still living with her. I think you all need to do everything you can to make that move, as long as it is safe.

Personally, I if I were your mom I would have all sorts of feelings that I would be entitled to feel. Assuming you have an otherwise good relationship, she's probably scared to death of all the unknowns and how this new responsibility is going to change everyone's lives. Perhaps she doesn't get to enjoy the idea of being a grandmother because she is consumed with being a mother.

littlewest1 · October 2014

Generally my parents have been right. Looking back now I wish I would have listened to them on some of the choices in partners I had in my past. Maybe they have a reason for not liking him that you don't see? I know it's hard when you are young. Ultimately you are going to make your own choies and mistakes and learn from them in the end.

vickersh1 · October 2014

My mom disapproved of DH the whole time we have been together (next month will be 9 years) She has always said that there was someone else better out there for me. While I am sure that is true, for everyone, I love him and don't plan on him going anywhere. We just kept having to prove to my mom that he was worth staying in the family. I think my mom is finally coming around to the fact that DH isn't so bad after all and she is actually excited about another grandbaby on the way.

I think in your situation, living under her roof will make this a little tougher. As PP have mentioned, she may be feeling as though your partner won't be able to support you and your LO financially. If it is possible to find y'alls own place, I honestly think it will make it a lot easier on you. I have found DH and I relationship (with eachother and with our parents) is always better when we are in our own place. (We lived with his parents for almost a year after he had a kidney transplant, and it was horrible). Things have improved 100% since we bought our own house). You are going to have to find some common ground with your mother. You and your partner are having a LO together, he won't be going anywhere, anytime soon.

Duffgurl · October 2014

My mother always disapproved of DH. For different reasons. Mainly race. I do not have a relationship with my mother and for me its whats best. My late father was always supportive and happy for us.

I don't know your situation but sometimes people aren't the best in judging others even if they are family.

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