Relationship rough patch:/

Re: Relationship rough patch:/

• Meggiemuggins member

  October 2014

  Hey Mama,
  No advice here, really.  Just know that you're not alone and that I understand how these in-it-for-life relationships are HARD, yo. 
  
  Is there someone who can watch your LO for an evening so you two can have a date night?  Maybe one-on-one in a relaxed setting you'll be able to talk it out, or, at minimum, reconnect a little sans baby (something DH and I desperately need to do).
  

  
  

  
  

  

  
  

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• Amstreagle member

  October 2014

  Sometimes I wonder whether it's a bump in the road or if he's just over it. A date night would be a great way to get away from the chaos of the house and concentrate on just us.
  Thank you for making me feel like I'm not alone in the struggles of a relationships. You have no idea how much your response has made me feel hopeful for the future. I love him so much and fear he doesn't feel the same. I tend to be a bit paranoid though.

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• kelly321 member

  October 2014

  DH and I had rough patches after both babies. For us, it's the frustration that we sometimes feel with the baby that we take out on each other. DD1 was a very difficult baby, and with DD2 she hit the 4 month wakeful with a vengeance and slept in 30-minute stretches for 5 months. Both situations were just frustrating and we snapped at each other. I think it's easy to fall into patterns where you're just not as considerate of each other as you should be (not you personally, just in general). No real advice other than to try to be a little more careful about it and tell him what you're doing so he'll hopefully try the same.
  Also, with us, DH sometimes assumes I'm mad when I'm not. Then he gets mad "back" and it escalates for no reason. Any chance that's happening with you guys?
  

  
  BFP1: DD1 born April 2011 at 34w1d via unplanned c/s due to HELLP, DVT 1 week PP
  

  BFP2: 3/18/12, blighted ovum, natural m/c @ 7w4d
  BFP3: DD2 born Feb 2013 at 38w4d via unplanned RCS due to uterine dehiscence
  

  
  

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• singingsea member

  October 2014

  After being with DH for 14 years I've learned that you fall in and out of love over and over. It's cyclical. Right now we're in a meh patch. I think that's because he's been traveling a lot lately so we haven't had much us time. I think a date night is in order for you. Things always seem to get better for me ans DH after a date.
  

  Married: August 2008
  DS born: February 2013
  TTC #2: Nov. 14
  Chemical pregnancy 09/16/15
  BFP: 12/25/15 EDD: 09/04/16
  

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• ericalee27 member

  October 2014

  kelly321 said:

  I think it's easy to fall into patterns where you're just not as considerate of each other as you should be (not you personally, just in general). No real advice other than to try to be a little more careful about it and tell him what you're doing so he'll hopefully try the same.
  
  

  Agree with this.  All of my fights with DH are over stupid stuff and usually happen because of the kids not sleeping, being frustrating etc.  Trying to be more mindful of how I am treating him and vice-versa always helps.

        DS1: Quinn - 10.22.10 and DS2: Cole - 01.18.13

  
  

  
  

    

  
  

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• mishka29 member

  October 2014

  I know what you mean. Before baby we would have these random patches of not clicking and I would realize we weren't getting along well but could never really pin point the issue. This means nothing now with DD and another one on the way bc now we have reasons for fighting that totally make sense. Communication really is the key and while we both think we are great at it, I think the reality is we both semi suck. GL!

  

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• jesuisfatiguee member

  October 2014

  I'm just here to offer my sympathy. I am obviously not a relationship guru. I'm sorry

  
  

  Your boy is absolutely precious, though

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

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• Amstreagle member

  October 2014

  Thank you everyone for your input. I know it's naive to think everything will great all the time but some of the shit we argue about come out of left field. I try to just let him have his time considering the anniversary of his fathers death is coming up and takes a toll on him but I know I can't let him walk all over me.
  Again I thank you all for giving me different ways to either broach the subject or let it be what it's going to be.

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• Amstreagle member

  October 2014

  @jesuisfatiguee‌, thank you so much! I think we might keep him around although he may be demonic

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