I've lost my drive..have you seen it?

koalaberry · October 2014

So, I'm halfway along and I've only felt up to...mattress dancing...about 4x. Roughly once a month. To be honest I would have rather not done the horizontal mambo during those occasions. My drive is completely zapped. Why? Because I'm tired, constipated, working full time, and going to school part time. I'm stressed about a career/income change. And to be honest my body just feels weird to me.

What bothers me is that I've heard so much about drives going through the roof during pregnancy. I feel really bad for DH and I assure him that's it's just me. He's been so great and supportive about everything that I can't help but feel bad about myself for this turn of events. Am I all alone on this one? When will my drive come back?

Please don't use this as a place to brag about how terrific your dirty dancing has been. That would be most unhelpful. I need to know that I'm not the only women out there that has turned into a no-sexo?

foxslaw · October 2014

You're totally not! Sex is super painful for me now & there has been a major drop in our activity level due to all the reasons you mentioned too! Definitely don't feel alone.

Maple403 · October 2014

You are not alone!

I had a time around 15 weeks where I was really into it. However, lately- not much at all. Last time we tried, I couldn't find any position that was comfy, and I don't think either of us really had a good time. It's hard to be interested when you aren't very comfortable.

Ducktale · October 2014

It is okay to say sex here...

kefttsc · October 2014

I don't want to have sex at ALL and really neither does DH......

michelle142 · October 2014

I have a partial previa, so I'm scared to even attempt sex. Which therefore ruins any potential for the mood to be there to begin with.. so yeah.

lizzybean · October 2014

It has become really uncomfortable for me. When it is initiated by DH (which honestly isn't often these days) it is good, but takes way longer than usual to get going.

We hadn't seen each other in a week while he was at school and actually had sex in his parent's house that night, which made it a little more exciting!

But yeah... I'd say roughly once every 1-2 weeks is what I'm aiming for.

kerrigrooves · October 2014

yeah it comes & goes for me, the last 10 days = 0...now Im reading this thread and ready to go home!! wink wink

dont worry - its just temporary!

mle106 · October 2014

DH and I had sex the other day for the first time in, well, awhile. I haven't been in the mood at all. For as swollen as I've been down there I actually felt really loose (think "throwing a hotdog down a hallway" situation going on). Oh well. Wasn't awesome for me but hubs enjoyed himself!

crystalw88 · October 2014

Since the BFP-I NEVER want to have sex. Oddly enough, last night I did want to and DH shot me down...sad moment.

Dani_Love · October 2014

I think we've done it about 3x since BFP. I just have no desire. He's been super understanding but I still feel bad. I would prefer to not have done it at all but I felt guilty.

toadandbug12 · October 2014

You're definitely not alone. Worse, it seems like my FI is 10x more interested. For me, it's hard to feel sexy while I'm pregnant.

modernfairytale8709 · October 2014

Ducktale said:
It is okay to say sex here...

Sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex.

OK, I'm over it.

OP, I'm sorry you're struggling to find your sexy groove. I totally understand the whole body feeling weird and unsexy thing.

Around 14 weeks, when my bump was just starting to raise out of my pelvis, we were DTD missionary style, and DH started freaking out because he could feel the bump. We stopped, and it took weeks for either if us to try again.

So far, I think pregnancy makes me feel beautiful, and really, incredibly weird.

lilybug319 · October 2014

I went through the same thing with my first pregnancy. It stayed that way for a while even after baby came out too. No idea why either. Just completely lost my sex drive for a good 2 years.

magsame · October 2014

It's been about 4 weeks going on 5 since the last time DH and I had sex. He's interested all the time but I'm just not into anything of the sort. I'm so concerned something bad is going to happen that I can't get into it. He isn't very supportive and complained this past weekend about me needing to "give it up". Whatever dude...you think trying to move this belly around is easy??

firelizard83 · October 2014

In the same boat. We have done a few sex deeds, but I was mostly feeling bad for him, so I took advantage of me not feeling quite as crappy. He has been really good about not bugging me or complaining. He hasn't even fallen into his grumpy sex starved turd mode that he has been known to do when we have had similar stretches before

t8keepr03 · October 2014

We haven't had sex since the BFP. I have had zero drive. The whole first tri I was so sick and had a lot of spotting issues so I was on pelvic rest. Since I got into the second tri I have started having a reoccurring yeast infection. With DD the yeast infections just kept coming back until I gave birth. With that being said, I don't expect this to go away completely. Needless to say no sex for us because there is no drive and it is unpleasant and painful. Don't feel you are alone.

I always thought pregnant women had a huge sex drive, well DH is not one of those fortunate ones.

jennjilljo · October 2014

We've had sex 3 or 4 times. That stopped when DD decided nighttime is the best time to be active. He has no hope of I can feel movement.

loriann091 · October 2014

@jennjilljoite‌ that's what did it for me... one night I felt her move and I couldn't get the idea out of my head. I know it's going to be a loooong couple months if I can't suck it up and figure something out, though!

jeanzcarol · October 2014

You are most definitely not alone. I think p-in-the-v has happened a handful of times and we've both finished maybe once since getting pregnant. The super sad part is my sweet husband is SO ATTRACTED to me right now. We were a very sexual pair before this and I have zero interest at all. Other than straight up sexual intercourse, I've tried to give more action. I am a girl who enjoys that and it makes him so happy, so I'll do it. He's tried to return the favor a few times if I'm kind of feeling up for it and just maybe some attention will get me in the mood. But then! After what feels like hours and probably 4-5 near-orgasm moments I just give up and tell him to stop.

So, you're not alone. I've been feeling so embarrassed and I'm really glad you brought this up.

The husband and I watch the bump videos each week together and he just laughs at all the sex drive comments and jokes that I'm a freak.

Thanks for posting. We've got enough weighing on us so let's all try to feel less guilt about this one.

Amaryllismagic · October 2014

It's not just you! We've had sex exactly three times since BFP. Poor guy...someday I'll want to again. Right now it just hurts too much.

mishka29 · October 2014

I had sex 2 times this week which pretty much doubles our total since the BFP. Reading dirty books and a bit of lube usually do the trick. DH wants it all the time so eventually I feel bad about not doing it and throw him a bj.

Mommalawyer · October 2014

We haven't since before our BFP. 2 days before our IUI. I am hormonal & angry with him, so we haven't even slept in the same room for over a month. Even if he was in here, I still wouldn't want to do it!

[Deleted User] · October 2014

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AshleySparkle720 · October 2014

first trimester I had absolutely no drive. My drive finally came back full force about 3 weeks ago(19 weeks pregnant). I don't know where, why, or how, but DH was so extremely happy. I think part of it was that I will put on some sort of belly friendly lingerie and that truly helps me feel better about myself in that light. During first trimester I was so sick and in and out of the hospital that it wasn't even worth it to try to have sex. We still did like once every 2 weeks, but I'd just give him a hand job or blow him so he wouldn't get all "dry spell blues" on me.

[Deleted User] · October 2014

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mishka29 · October 2014

Stephanie2378 said:

We've had sex 5 times since I got pregnant. I might be about to be up shit creek so to speak as MH has a very low sex drive and has just recently committed to getting help (he's seeing a naturopath tomorrow). But for the first time in all of our years together, it's not bothering me because mines so low right now. God help me.

It may have been a good idea to save that apt until a couple months after the baby arrives! But good luck, that's great he's seeing someone.

[Deleted User] · October 2014

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Dani_Love · October 2014

Anyone else's dh ruin it thinking they were crushing the baby? There was no point after that!

NQueen11 · October 2014

We haven't even attempted since BFP so I feel a little better seeing your posts. Although I have amazing sex with my husband in my dreams... $:\$ ">

[Deleted User] · October 2014

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[Deleted User] · October 2014

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MichaelaMTP · October 2014

@vixxylu‌ You've done it far more than I have. My husband had been very supportive and wonderful. I feel terrible for him, but like you said, my body just feels foreign to me. So no, you're not alone. I'm feeling the same way.as well.

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