STEP MOM CHECK IN

lisap0924 · October 2014

Hello Ladies!

Hope you had a great week! Sorry for the repeat questions. I had a crazy day and im feeling quite lazy...:P

Please share the following in your post

1. Tell us about your SK's (if this is your first time on the check-in)

2. EDD (if this is your first time on the check in)

3. Gestation in weeks/fruit

4. Any issues with the kids this week?

5. Any issues with BM this week?

6. Upcoming Appointments or Milestones:

7. Vent/bitch/complain/excitement:

8. What advice would you give to a new step mom?

lisap0924 · October 2014

1. Tell us about your SK's (if this is your first time on the check-in)

2. EDD (if this is your first time on the check in)

3. Gestation in weeks/fruit 18 Weeks today!!/ sweet potatoe

4. Any issues with the kids this week? SS has ADHD. he started 3rd grade this year and is having a hard time so far. He has taken Ritalin since last year, but we think he may need a higher dose since he has grown a lot.

BM doesn't want a higher dose and H is on the fence. I am voting Yes for a higher dose. I work in an elementary school and I see the changes in kids. I seen the change in SS last year.

5. Any issues with BM this week? Nope. SS spent this past weekend with her and all was well. Tho she rubbed my belly and kissed it while picking up SS last Friday ;/ so awkward!

6. Upcoming Appointments or Milestones: anatomy scan is scheduled for the 28th. I am so excited!!!

7. Vent/bitch/complain/excitement: lots of RLP the past few days. I stood up quick yesterday and almost fell over. lots of pressure and pain, it passed quickly tho when I started walking around.

8. What advice would you give to a new step mom? its hard, but its so worth it! ;0)

kcbizme · October 2014

Yay! I look forward to this every week!

Gestation in weeks/fruit
19 weeks - mango/zucchini/heirloom tomato/softball

Any issues with the kids this week?
Not so far.. SO was out of town last weekend so we didn't get to see her until Monday.

Any issues with BM this week?
Not at the moment!

Upcoming Appointments or Milestones:
Next appointment is 10/28.. MIL wants to come (woop-dee-doo)
Also.. next week marks halfway!

Vent/bitch/complain/excitement:
SO told BM that I plan to go med-free and she said I'd never be able to do it. I'm sorry, but just because you weren't able to doesn't mean I won't. Everyone's tolerance level is completely different.

What advice would you give to a new step mom?
Have patience! Things may be rough at first, but they will get better. It's a transition period for both the child and the birth mom.

lisap0924 · October 2014

kcbizme said:

Yay! I look forward to this every week!

Gestation in weeks/fruit
19 weeks - mango/zucchini/heirloom tomato/softball
Any issues with the kids this week?
Not so far.. SO was out of town last weekend so we didn't get to see her until Monday.
Any issues with BM this week?
Not at the moment!
Upcoming Appointments or Milestones:
Next appointment is 10/28.. MIL wants to come (woop-dee-doo)
Also.. next week marks halfway!
Vent/bitch/complain/excitement:
SO told BM that I plan to go med-free and she said I'd never be able to do it. I'm sorry, but just because you weren't able to doesn't mean I won't. Everyone's tolerance level is completely different.
What advice would you give to a new step mom?
Have patience! Things may be rough at first, but they will get better. It's a transition period for both the child and the birth mom.

SO told BM about your birth plan???! I wouldn't be OK with that. Our pregnancy is none of her business.

Tho, my H told BM about my pregnancy VERY early on. I had a fit!!

our relationship with BM is good at the moment, but I still don't like it when she knows too much about our personal matters. maybe its just me being resentful?!

kcbizme · October 2014

@lisap0924 I asked him why he told her that. He said, "well you already told her everything else!"

Umm, no. I told her we were having a boy, and how I was feeling BECAUSE SHE ASKED.

I was not happy either.

AriFish · October 2014

Hello!

1. He's a sweet and talkative boy in 3rd grade.

2. 3/17

3. Onion!

4. Found out yesterday we're having a girl and he was a tad peeved it wasn't a boy as he had "requested". He told us he was scared because he didn't know how to take care of a baby. I thought that was very sweet!

5. She has usual ups and downs. She's on a down lately. I think she's freaking out my SS about the upcoming changes. She says he's freaking out but when he's with us he's perfectly fine. I think she's worried about the changes.

6. Yesterday's anatomy scan says it's a girl!

7. I had a bit of a meltdown when we found out it was a girl. Not that I preferred either way but the realization that I would be having a daughter didn't come lightly.

8. I feel like a new step-mom myself so all I have to say is be loving and be patient! Oh, and forgiving!

lisap0924 · October 2014

kcbizme said:
@lisap0924 I asked him why he told her that. He said, "well you already told her everything else!"

Umm, no. I told her we were having a boy, and how I was feeling BECAUSE SHE ASKED.

I was not happy either.

Bummer! Well, what's done is done I guess. But it was rude of her to comment on your birth plan. I wish you much luck on your drug free plan!
I would also like to go drug free, but I am a wimp so we will see

lisap0924 · October 2014

AriFish said:
Hello!
1. He's a sweet and talkative boy in 3rd grade.
2. 3/17
3. Onion!
4. Found out yesterday we're having a girl and he was a tad peeved it wasn't a boy as he had "requested". He told us he was scared because he didn't know how to take care of a baby. I thought that was very sweet!
5. She has usual ups and downs. She's on a down lately. I think she's freaking out my SS about the upcoming changes. She says he's freaking out but when he's with us he's perfectly fine. I think she's worried about the changes.
6. Yesterday's anatomy scan says it's a girl!
7. I had a bit of a meltdown when we found out it was a girl. Not that I preferred either way but the realization that I would be having a daughter didn't come lightly.
8. I feel like a new step-mom myself so all I have to say is be loving and be patient! Oh, and forgiving!

@AriFish‌ welcome! My SS is also in 3rd grade and has also "requested" a boy. I'm hoping for a girl, but I'll take what I can get

SS lives with my husband and I. He has a younger sister who lives with BM (same mom different dads) whom he doesn't always get along with so he is not a fan of another sister

AriFish · October 2014

lisap0924 said:

Hello!
1. He's a sweet and talkative boy in 3rd grade.
2. 3/17
3. Onion!
4. Found out yesterday we're having a girl and he was a tad peeved it wasn't a boy as he had "requested". He told us he was scared because he didn't know how to take care of a baby. I thought that was very sweet!
5. She has usual ups and downs. She's on a down lately. I think she's freaking out my SS about the upcoming changes. She says he's freaking out but when he's with us he's perfectly fine. I think she's worried about the changes.
6. Yesterday's anatomy scan says it's a girl!
7. I had a bit of a meltdown when we found out it was a girl. Not that I preferred either way but the realization that I would be having a daughter didn't come lightly.
8. I feel like a new step-mom myself so all I have to say is be loving and be patient! Oh, and forgiving!
@AriFish‌ welcome! My SS is also in 3rd grade and has also "requested" a boy. I'm hoping for a girl, but I'll take what I can get SS lives with my husband and I. He has a younger sister who lives with BM (same mom different dads) whom he doesn't always get along with so he is not a fan of another sister

Thanks for the welcome! Good luck with the sister thing. My SS suddenly realized that a baby was a baby when it turned out to be a girl. Haha! I'm trying to get him psyched about it but I think either way it'll be a shock because he's an only child and the age difference will be pretty substantial. We've got a 50/50 scenario.

mandi195 · October 2014

3. Gestation in weeks/fruit
17w4d/onion
4. Any issues with the kids this week?
Overall they are awesome
5. Any issues with BM this week?
She gave birth to baby #3 (with guy #3) over the weekend, and has been strangely easy to communicate with since then. I blame feel good baby hormones.
6. Upcoming Appointments or Milestones:
20 week a/s on the 24th
7. Vent/bitch/complain/excitement:
Excited to have a/s to know baby is well
8. What advice would you give to a new step mom?
Try to always be positive. It will be difficult at times, just try to let the parents make parental decisions and just be a supportive, loving force in everyone's life.

SaltandVinegar · October 2014

Gestation in weeks/fruit - 16 weeks! Avocoado I think

Any issues with the kids this week - he had to pull a lot pipe cleaners at school last week (he's in 3rd grade so that's there behavior tracking system). First grade was similar to this but then last year his teacher was friends with BM so he had a great year (I think she let him off pretty easy). This year has been a little bit of a wake up call for him to get back on track with a teacher who isn't going to let behavior slide. Mostly talking when he shouldn't - he's a chatterbox for sure! The hard part is we don't see his folder with this info until we get him on Fridays. BM does nothing - No consequences - all week long so we are left to be the bad guys on the weekend.

Any issues with BM this week? Same old manipulation as always. Nothing new here.

Upcoming Appointments or Milestones: Just had an appt. on Tuesday and all is well so far Love hearing the heartbeat (155) and a/s is set for Nov 7th. Can't wait!

Vent/bitch/complain/excitement: Just random - seems like a few of us have SS in the 3rd grade range It's nice to hear other stories and know that what we have is completely normal!

What advice would you give to a new step mom? t's like a roller coaster but be patient and be the bigger person.

lisap0924 · October 2014

KATE732 said:

Gestation in weeks/fruit - 16 weeks! Avocoado I think
Any issues with the kids this week - he had to pull a lot pipe cleaners at school last week (he's in 3rd grade so that's there behavior tracking system). First grade was similar to this but then last year his teacher was friends with BM so he had a great year (I think she let him off pretty easy). This year has been a little bit of a wake up call for him to get back on track with a teacher who isn't going to let behavior slide. Mostly talking when he shouldn't - he's a chatterbox for sure! The hard part is we don't see his folder with this info until we get him on Fridays. BM does nothing - No consequences - all week long so we are left to be the bad guys on the weekend.
Any issues with BM this week? Same old manipulation as always. Nothing new here.
Upcoming Appointments or Milestones: Just had an appt. on Tuesday and all is well so far Love hearing the heartbeat (155) and a/s is set for Nov 7th. Can't wait!
Vent/bitch/complain/excitement: Just random - seems like a few of us have SS in the 3rd grade range It's nice to hear other stories and know that what we have is completely normal!
What advice would you give to a new step mom? t's like a roller coaster but be patient and be the bigger person.

I agree!! having a few kids in the 3rd grade area is nice! maybe we can exchange more advice?

My SS doesn't really have any "behavior" problems at school. All of his teachers have always spoke very highly of him, he just cant focus. He is the kid off in la-la land. staring out the window, playing with his shoe, playing with his pencil..ect.

In turn, he gets frustrated and shuts down and cries. I feel bad for him

but on the other hand, we've had many conversations with him about school and how important it is to always try your best, but he just doesn't care.

I love him to death, but he is VERY VERY lazy. he does the bare minimum in life. always. he doesn't understand how important school is.

he really wants to go to this summer camp this summer. we told him he needs to have good grades and not need summer school this year (he has gone the past 2 years) it just doesn't seem to be a real motivator tho. he wants to go, and is sad when we tell him he wont be able to go, but he doesn't want to put the effort in. its a viscous circle. and i don't know how to break it

lisap0924 · October 2014

mandi195 said:

3. Gestation in weeks/fruit 17w4d/onion 4. Any issues with the kids this week? Overall they are awesome 5. Any issues with BM this week? She gave birth to baby #3 (with guy #3) over the weekend, and has been strangely easy to communicate with since then. I blame feel good baby hormones. 6. Upcoming Appointments or Milestones: 20 week a/s on the 24th 7. Vent/bitch/complain/excitement: Excited to have a/s to know baby is well 8. What advice would you give to a new step mom? Try to always be positive. It will be difficult at times, just try to let the parents make parental decisions and just be a supportive, loving force in everyone's life.

sometimes i wish i didn't have to make parental decisions. but i do. BM is an EOW fun time mom. she has nothing to do with school, discipline, sports, friends, ect. she is what i wish i could be, but someone has to be the mom, and that is me by default...

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