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Teaching how to sleep: Advice please :S

Julestar11Julestar11 member
in Toddlers: 24 Months+
Hi,
My dd24mo, can't fall asleep unless my husband or myself rock her and sing a couple of songs for her..., she falls asleep in our arms and we put her in her bed. where she stays for most of the night, usually coming in at 4am ( this I don't mind so much, since i love cuddling w her). I know that it's absolutely our fault that we got her used to falling asleep in this way, but now, because she's so big, we are hitting the limits of our patience.
We do read to her before the whole rocking chair nonsense, but don't know how to transition to just laying in her toddler bed, and not needing so much assistance.
Please help cause I'm starting to dread having to put her down to sleep.
J
ps/ for naps its the same thing, unless we're in a car, it's horrible.

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Re: Teaching how to sleep: Advice please :S

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    ashiscuteashiscute member
    Tell her you are only going to rock her for a certain amount of time (5 minutes).  Set a timer and then stick to it.  Rock her for 5 minutes, sing her songs and then put her down in bed.  Tell her good night and leave the room.  If she cries go back in after a few minutes and comfort her but do not rock her again.  Just rub her back and tell her it's time for bed and then leave.  Continue until she falls asleep.  

    Pick up a couple of books on sleep training and see what style works for you.  The above is what I would do but there are other options.  Some are gentler but they can take longer to work.  My favorite is Ferber's Solve Your Child's Sleep Problem.
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    tbmadeamistaketbmadeamistake member
    When our two year old was little, we sleep trained by gradually putting her into her crib more and more awake until she could out herself to sleep on her own. I don't see why that wouldn't also work with your two year old now. Start putting her down as soon as she falls asleep, rather than when deeply asleep. Slowly move up when you put her down.

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    mb314mb314 member
    edited September 2014
    I rocked DS to sleep until about a month ago, right before he turned 2.  We used the Sleep Lady's book/Sleep Lady Shuffle to get him to go to sleep on his own and to break the habit of bringing him into our bed after his first middle of the night wake up.  It worked really well and was much easier than I thought it would be.  https://www.amazon.com/Sleep-Lady®’s-Good-Night-Tight/dp/1593155581 

    The system has you put the baby/toddler down when tired/drowsy, after bedtime routine, but before they're too tired (or overtired).  The first three nights, you sit next to their crib/bed and stay with them until they fall asleep.  Gradually, in three night increments, you sit further and further away from the crib until you are outside the door.  DS cried the first night for 45 minutes, but honestly after that, he barely whimpered.  He now goes down for naps and for bedtime without any rocking and pretty much on his own.  His middle of the night wakeups are a lot more infrequent and he goes to sleep much easier when he does wake up in the middle of the night.

    You do have to be committed to "sleep training" and that's why I put it off so long.  For me, having a system outlined in a book was key because it helped me stick with the plan and not give in. 

    Good luck!
     
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    skibunny59skibunny59 member

    We just recently got our 2 1/2 year old to put herself to sleep.  We stopped rocking completely to sleep around 18 months or so.  We would rock her until drowsy then lay her in bed and hold her hand until she fell asleep.  That worked out great for awhile until she started "playing" with us in bed and was taking longer and longer to fall asleep.  We decided that we really needed to get out of her room.

    Now we do books and sing to her in the rocking chair for a little bit and then put her in bed, give kisses and leave the room.  She holds her little Dora light and is out in like 5-10 minutes.  It's amazing.  At first she didn't want us leaving so we started out just leaving for 2 minutes, then 5, etc. and we would come back in and check on her.  It took about a week but she got it.  Good luck!  The hardest part for us was actually buckling down and deciding we were really going to commit and do it.  it actually wasn't as hard as I thought it would be.

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    littlemurphy2912littlemurphy2912 member
    All of this advice is spot on! I was rocking my now 2 year old DD to sleep up until 3 months ago to sleep and would lay her in her crib and she would be just about out. 3 months ago I was out of town for a family funeral and my DH and DD stayed at home and my DH decided to put her to bed by singing her 5 songs and after those songs were done he stood up and sang her one more song and then laid her in her crib and said good night to her and left the room. She cried for a few minutes but was out after that. He said that he kept warning her that after 5 songs were done that he would sing one more than then it was night time. He continued to do that as I was out of town for 3 days and when I came home he told me what he did so I stuck to what he did and she does just fine with it. I will sing 5 songs and then another before I put her in her crib and then I will tuck her in while she is awake and she will put herself to sleep. There are days when she will cry because she doesn't want to go to sleep but we won't go back into her room because we know she is tired and needs her rest and she falls asleep after a minute or less of crying/whinning. Persistency is key and you need to stick to your guns so your LO doesn't take control of the situation and knows what you say goes.
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    MommyAttyMommyAtty member
    I am a horrible insomniac. Have been since childhood. Since I know how awful it is to be a bad sleeper I was determined to teach my kids great sleep habits from the beginning. (My mom admits to often having woken me up at night if I made any noise because she was awake and wanted to cuddle. Thanks, Mom.) For DD, we used the Baby Whisperer. She started sleeping thru the night in her crib at 6 weeks. With DS, Baby Whisperer wasn't working, so we used Happiest Baby on the Block. He started sleeping thru the night at 8 weeks. We have always put both in bed sleepy but awake. Neither has had any sleep regressions. And we did absolutely, positively no crying it out, ever. So my advice is to read a couple of different methods, try to match one to your kiddo's personality, and then do it, making minor adjustments as needed as you go while still being consistent. When it gets hard, remember that you are giving your LO a very, very precious gift! People who don't have sleep problems don't understand that sleeping is a skill and a talent. Nurture it!
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    Julestar11Julestar11 member
    Thank you all so much for all the advice, it sounds great. I will use timer/check on her on increasing increments, and see how it goes.
    I agree 100% that it's a commitment issue, it had always been easier just to do it the old way, until now. Hubs and I are ready :)
    Thanks!
    J
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