Advice on work situation

marijaa333 · October 2014

I'm supposed to travel to a country with widespread malaria for work; normally it's not a problem, there are plenty of prophylactic drugs and I know how to cover up. However, I've just looked up all of those drugs and none of them seem terribly safe in pregnancy. One is category B, but it has been shown to cause fetal harm in animal studies and I'd rather steer clear.

Edit: I've basically decided not to go.

However, I haven't yet told anyone at work I'm pregnant, being that I'm only 8w3d and things could still go wrong; Do you have any advice on how to handle the situation, i.e. how to avoid travel without telling my boss about the pregnancy?

mandyreads · October 2014

If it was me I wouldn't go. How far along are you going to be when you are supposed to go? I would defintely talk to your dr about it too.

marijaa333 · October 2014

Oh, I've decided I'm not going! I should have made that clear. But the question is how to avoid telling my boss I'm pregnant and still pass on the trip. I realize that's a bit dishonest but she doesn't have the best track record with treating pregnant women on her team well.

Lady2010 · October 2014

That is a tough one. Do you have to tell your boss now or can you wait a few weeks? If you can, I would wait as long as possible to tell her. If it is due to booking tickets, does your company book refundable? If so, then I would say nothing and then just cancel as it gets closer. (Obviously if this trip is supposed to happen in a week or two that is harder)

Can you tell her you have a family commitment that you can't get out of / reschedule? Something important like an immediate family member's wedding, a reunion, surprise party for grandparent/parent milestone bday / anniversary? Or someone visiting from out of town and staying with you? (I am assuming this trip would be to a location far enough away that you would need to be gone for at least a few days to week minimum)

Else maybe you have a dr's appt/consult that you scheduled 6 mos ago that if you reschedule now will be at least another 6 mos out?

Good luck - keep us posted on how it goes!

tahitiandreamin · October 2014

I would go with the suggestion from @Lady2010 and claim that there was a long standing family commitment (if you have to say something before you talk about a contract extension). In this case I would drake up any excuse that is reasonable and will not put you in a negative light in your boss' eyes. I also wouldn't mention the pregnancy until contract extensions have been dealt with.

Do you know why your boss hasn't treated pregnant women well in the past? I would factor that in as well, especially if you are going to talk about contract extensions. Have any of the women had contract extensions (or new contracts) signed and then just after announced their pregnancy? In that case your boss might have felt blind sided by them and she might appreciate you being up front when talking about contract extensions. You might want to do a bit of digging to see if you can make your situation better than it has been for other women in the past.

marijaa333 · October 2014

Thank you, @tahitiandreamin‌ and @Lady2010‌ - lots of great advice. In answer to the question, she hasn't been blindsided in the past as far as i know, she just doesn't have a lot of empathy for staff's lives outside the office. She had also been quite manipulative with me in the past, saying she would do one thing and then doing another. There's just very little trust between her and the team right now which is really too bad.

Tsuga76 · October 2014

One other option could be to tell her you have a medical condition that won't allow you to travel. You should be able to get a note from your doctor and I believe that usually the specific reason doesn't need to be specified. I know in my organization a note would go to HR, not to the direct supervisor so there's another layer, but I'm sure every workplace is different. As a manager I would not ask an employee for specifics of their condition just inquire if they were ok - to do otherwise would be inappropriate.

Personally I don't think at this point you have any obligation to bring up your pregnancy status as part of your contract conversation. It's the norm not to tell employers until around 12-13 weeks and even longer is ok. I'd be very irritated if an employee waited until the legal limit but there's some flexibility. Also my suggestion would be to get as much of your conversations re your contract in written form as possible. For example sending an email following your conversation to confirm her positive statements or intentions regarding your contract. Then if she denies to extend after you've announced you will have something more concrete to bring to a higher manager or HR department. Even writing your takeaways down immediately after and sending to yourself (so there's a timestamp) could be helpful.

marijaa333 · October 2014

Thank you so much @Tsuga76‌, great suggestions!

MsMacual · October 2014

I agree with the suggestions that have been made. I contract, too so I get how tricky the whole situation can be, but it sounds like maybe this isn't a great contract to continue with anyway, if your boss is difficult at times despite great performance? I'd try to have the contract extension conversation first so that is settled before you tell her that you don't want to travel. I'd tell her that you have a family commitment during that time frame that you don't want to miss and leave it at that.

Another option is to consult with an infectious disease doctor about the risk to not taking malaria pills while you are there. Depending on the length of your trip, where you are staying, etc your risk of being bitten might be low. Always a difficult balance between taking a class b drug vs contracting an illness that will require taking something for a longer period of time, but definitely a conversation that could be had should you end out needing to go even though you don't want to.

marijaa333 · October 2014

Very good points and i considered not taking any drugs but conaidering i'm pregnant i don't think it's wise. We'd staying in a fancy hotel and I'll mostly be in meetings, however, in my previous experience it's actually better to stay at not-so-fancy places because they don't think they are above bed nets and screens. The four star hotels for some reason never even have hooks on the ceiling for a bed net, let alone an actual bed net, despite the fact that mozzies live perfectly well in air conditioning! And a single outdoor reception is enough for plenty of exposure risk, so going without protection is not wise (not to mention that it would still be their rainy season, i.e. happy mosquito families...).

marijaa333 · October 2014

Situation resolved! I worked out a way to join some meetings by video/teleconference. Thanks again for all of your help and advice!

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