I need all the wine (update)

singingsea · October 2014

This separation anxiety Kieran is going through feels like it's going to be the death of me. I was in tears this morning in the car. I know I posted yesterday about bedtime being a mess but now it's 24/7.

He refuses to walk anywhere anymore. He wants to be carried all the time and if I try to put him down for a second to try to make dinner or anything he freaks out. He screams at bedtime, wakes up at random times at night crying, gets upset when I leave for work. I'm trying to be compassionate and do the right thing but I feel like I'm going to lose my mind.

Do I pick him up when he wants carried or do I make him walk? Should I start letting him CIO at bedtime? (I haven't yet)

DH is out of town till Friday. Any advice at all will be greatly appreciated.

Update:

Thanks for all the advice! Last night went well. We actually went to bed sans screaming our head off

We kept dinner simple. Comfort food. Grilled cheese sandwich and peas. Gave him tons of affection. We played outside for a little while then came in and colored. We video chatted with daddy before bath time.

It hadn't occurred to me but I think he's afraid of the dark

When I turned the lights off in his room he was whimpering saying "dark dark".

I explained to him that his night light keeps the dark away and that I'd stay with him till he fell asleep. He was out cold in five minutes.

I thought they didn't become afraid of the dark until later down the road? Is this normal for this age?

singingsea · October 2014

Sagen said:

I am so not one to over use the doctor, but TBH I might take him in. If this is extremely out of character for him. It could be explained by dad being gone. My H has had to leave many times through out all my kids being toddlers, and none have had such an upsetting reaction. Ignore me though if your instinct says it is fine. I am the mother of a little boy who when he was a baby, hand to bible would have zero symptoms besides fussiness, and would have a raging ear infection. He had tubes put in! That might change my perspective kwim? I am sorry though, GL.

It is out of character for him and it all started a week and a half ago when DH left for Florida for work. First I suspected maybe an ear infection but I did some googling and he's shown no other symptoms. Idk what to do

lc&jw · October 2014

I wonder if he's confused about daddy being gone and is worried you're going to leave him too and not come back. It might help for him to skype with daddy or at the very least talk to him on the phone. Also, explanations about what's going on might seem like a long shot, but if you keep them very basic, it might help him understand that you and daddy will always come back. You can explain that daddy is at work and will be coming back in a couple days.

If none of that helps, I would just give lots of snuggles and pray for Friday to come quickly!

SummerLove21 · October 2014

Make dinners for yourself easy and quick for the week. If that means ordering pizza one night and picking up something the next, then do it. It will make both of you less stressed!

When you are at work, it's going to be hard but he will have to deal. There is no alternative. Don't beat yourself up over it, but accept that it's going to be hard for a couple more days and leave it at that. It's not going to cause permanent damage to you LO. (I know that sounds harsh, but I am meaning it more matter-of-fact.)

I think if he is acting desperate for you, do as much cuddling and holding as you can. This is going to be rich coming from me, but...let everything you can go. Cooking, cleaning, errands, whatever. Cuddle him instead, or whatever you both want. Keep his nighttime routine as normal as possible. It's going to provide the security he needs right now, even though I'm sure it is tempting to give in on things. Will he go to sleep if you stay in his room? I ask because mine won't for sure, but yours might...maybe that would make him feel more secure falling asleep.

I feel for ya, mama! Hang in there!!!

singingsea · October 2014

Thanks everyone for your advice! Posted an update above.

wineandcake · October 2014

DS always has his night light on. Occasionally DH forgets to turn it on and we have a rough night. He's fine with the dark as long as he's in bed with us, but being alone = no bueno. I'm not sure if he's actually afraid of the dark or if it's just a habit to have the lights on, but either way I just go with it and keep it on for him.

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