February 2013 Moms

Speaking of careers...

Did anyone read this article today?

https://www.businessinsider.com/women-tech-lean-in-sheryl-sandberg-2013-12

Curious what your thoughts are.  I yearn for work/life balance. I dont need to stay at home, I would be fine working, I just cant do the 60-65 hours a week anymore. And the response I get? Thats the career you chose...you wont make this kind of of money if you do anything else. I think thats unfair and I wish there were a better way to gain balance. I think I would be more productive and more focused and a better employee.  But sadly its not how it works in my industry. There is no such thing as work/life balance.....you are either in or out.

Re: Speaking of careers...

  • Interesting. I do like the idea of a better work life balance, and I do think that with more women in the workforce and more men wanting to play an active role in their children's lives, it's something that may improve at least in some industries.

    Honestly, if DH had health insurance through his job (he's an independent contractor now), I'd seriously consider ditching the auditing job and working ~30 per week at a library. It's pretty easy to find part time library jobs at a decent hourly wage in NJ. But alas, I provide our health insurance, so I'm just enjoying the fact that my auditing job offers a flexible schedule combined with a decent amount of vacation time. At least for now, since there are rumors that our dumbass county executive may be slashing everyone's vacation accrual rates back to 2 weeks/year regardless of years of service, an if that happens I plan to GTFO of here and find a full time library gig, because this month I'm set to start accruing 4 weeks/year. If I have to give that up and start at square one, may as well have it be doing something I'm passionate about!)


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  • I do think it needs to apply to both genders to have it work. And I do think when asking for flexibility, the person should have a plan in place to show how their work wont suffer. Its not everyones passion or desire to be home or have flexibility. there are plenty of people who enjoy the daily work grind and being busy constantly, and staying home with a sick child would be very difficult for them. and thats ok. but for me to have to walk away from a successful and lucrative career that I have worked so hard at for 10 years, is a shame. Its what I will do for the betterment of my life and my familys life, because right now I am truly stressed and not happy, but I wish there were another out.  Like let me work 3 days. On those other days I am available on email on phone on an as needed basis, and cut my total comp by a third. Boom. Done.
  • I love this article, and I completely agree.  To ignore that someone is a parent is ridiculous, and to put policies in place that are incompatible with being a parent, whether its hours or sick leave or whatever, means that you put your company at risk of possibly disenfranchising 50% of its of workforce at some point.  

    I'm another one who has stayed at my company for their work/life/parent policies - and I have no intention of leaving anytime soon.  

    To me, at the end of the day, it makes infinite sense to put in place policies for everyone that afford a work life balance.  You see it in retention.  I think the quoted figure at our company is that it is close to a year if not longer before a newly hired person is profitable.  If I bill 40 hours a week now, as a new parent, but expect in the future to bill more, doesn't it make infinitely more sense to keep me billable with flexibility, than for me to quit and cost the company my sunk costs?  In the economies of scale at a large company - absofreakingloutely it does.  
  • djm31012 - can you spin off your career into another branch of finance?  I know from personal exposure that big finance and big law are 2 of the more incompatible careers with being a parent with the sheer number of hours expected, and also the hardest to come back into, but just curious.  Hugs to you - for everyone, WM or SAH, changing from one to the next is hard.
  • djm31012djm31012 member
    edited October 2014
    djm31012 - can you spin off your career into another branch of finance?  I know from personal exposure that big finance and big law are 2 of the more incompatible careers with being a parent with the sheer number of hours expected, and also the hardest to come back into, but just curious.  Hugs to you - for everyone, WM or SAH, changing from one to the next is hard.
    I could go in to the private client side and have much more flexibility (opportunities close to home, my own business so essentially making my own hours, etc) but that is also something I could do down the line, even after taking a few years off. Its not at all related to what I do now, so I would be starting from the very bottom regardless. Its something I might look into down the road. Right now I just am burnt out and want to take a step back and reevaluate.

    ETA i hate to complain because it comes with the territory. I have made good money in my 10 years, and I guess thats what it takes to get that payoff. I just wish I could have both...the money and the time. But thats a pipedream.
  • I've never even heard of the term "leaning in." What exactly does it mean? I'm assuming something along the lines of dedicating yourself to your job and working long hours regardless of your personal/family life?
    PCOS with long, irregular cycles
    First round of Clomid in May 2012= BFP #1, DD born January 2013 
    BFP #2 in January 2014, DS born September 2014

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