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toilet training 4 yr old at night

KateLouiseKateLouise member
in Attachment Parenting
Our 4 yr old has never slept through the night dry. Or possibly she did when much younger, but DH (who got up with her when she first worke) would never change her so she'd just wee in her nappy in the morning until she got changed into underwear, so we're not a 100% on that.

So possibly we missed a window of her naturally sleeping through the night dry. Or she still hasn't worked out staying dry over night.

Either way, a week ago I decided to take nappies off her and force the issue. Trying to work out if it's a habit to break, or if she's just such a deep sleeper that she's not there yet.

She's wet the bed every night, twice initially, but now just once. We put her on the toilet around 10pm. Sometimes she wakes, but sometimes she sleeps through being wet. I know this because she's slept in my bed at times (with a waterproof mat under her) and I've felt that she was wet but she's just slept through.

So what are your thoughts? Push through until she gets the idea.?. Put her back in nappies because she's just a deep sleeper and not there yet? Something else?

She's been toilet trained during the day since she was 21/2...it took her 3 days to get the hang of that.

Thanks
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Elizabeth 5yrs old Jane 3yrs old
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Re: toilet training 4 yr old at night

  • Emerald27Emerald27 member
    Does she wet the bed about the same time every night?

    I'm not there yet with DS and haven't read anything on this subject, so forgive my ignorance if this is not the way you're supposed to go about this...

    but what about waking her up several times a night to go to the potty? At least initially. And keeping one of the kid potties (we have the fisher-price frog potty) next to her bed so that if she needs to pee overnight and learns to wake for it, she can get to the potty quickly?
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  • outnumberedoutnumbered member
    smeame14 said:
    Night training is a developmental thing and kids will stop wetting the bed at night when their bodies are able to. For some kids it is around 3 others more like 6.
    Night training cannot be forced.  You can encourage a dry night by taking her to the potty when you go to bed.   Some research shows that sometimes night time dryness is related to hormones.  My 3 kids were all dry at night at different times and it was not related to daytime traning.  My friend's daughter was not dry at night until she was 6.  The pedi said they did not worry until kids were 7.  
    Smiley: April '05 Rocky: May '06 Tex: July '09
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  • KateLouiseKateLouise member
    outnumbered said:
    smeame14 said:
    Night training is a developmental thing and kids will stop wetting the bed at night when their bodies are able to. For some kids it is around 3 others more like 6.
    Night training cannot be forced.  You can encourage a dry night by taking her to the potty when you go to bed.   Some research shows that sometimes night time dryness is related to hormones.  My 3 kids were all dry at night at different times and it was not related to daytime traning.  My friend's daughter was not dry at night until she was 6.  The pedi said they did not worry until kids were 7.  
    Yes this is what I had read, and understood as well, but a few people have said to me, "have you tried taking a nappy off her and seeing what happens, sometimes they just need to feel being wet."

    Plus her two yr old sister isn't wearing a nappy at night anymore, so i think that has made it a bit of an issue for her because she kept saying, "I don't need a nappy anymore."
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    Elizabeth 5yrs old Jane 3yrs old
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  • neverblushedneverblushed member
    Been there.  My son wet the bed pretty much every night at age 4, and was SUCH a deep sleeper that there was no way he could wake up to pee.  I couldn't even wake him to take him to the bathroom at 10 pm!  I tried a few times, and realized how futile it was when I was holding him -- still sleeping soundly -- dangling by his armpits over the toilet.

    Like you, I found that letting him wear a diaper or pull up at night actually made it worse.  To him it was warm and cozy!  He'd pee in his diaper in the morning, just so he wouldn't have to go to the bathroom!

    I just went without diapers and worked with him to minimize nighttime wetting.  I helped him learn to REALLY empty his bladder by peeing 2x before bed: once at the start of the bedtime routine, and again after story and just before lights out.  He was in the habit of just making a little squirt to let some of the pressure off.  Learning to fully empty his bladder was a big step.

    My pediatric nurse practitioner assured me that it would get better after the preschool years, and stop completely sometime between age 8 and 12.  She was right!  At age 4 - 6, he wet the bed more often than not.  Around ages 6 to 7, he would go for a long stretch with no accidents, then a short stretch when he would wet the bed 3 or 4 times in a row.  I noticed he was worse at times of transition or when he was more tired (start of school year, holidays, after vacations.)  Right around age 8, he started to get a LOT better.  He would go weeks or even months between single wet nights.  He just turned 10, and I think the last time he wet the bed was over a year ago.  

    I never scolded him and never tried to "train" him.  How could I train him to be more awake at night?  It's just something that had to develop naturally as his brain and bladder matured.  I did ask him to help my by keeping wet laundry in a separate hamper.  This was important because as he got older, he felt embarrassed and upset when it happened.  Helping keep the laundry straight was a way he could exert control over a difficult situation that made him feel helpless and frustrated.

    Hang in there!  It will get better, even if you don't find a way to "train" her at night!
    High School English teacher and mom of 2 kids:

    DD, born 9/06/00 -- 12th grade
    DS, born 8/25/04 -- 7th grade
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  • neverblushedneverblushed member
    BTW -- my other child was night trained at age 2, around the same time she was day trained.  She's never wet the bed once.  

    It's a genetic thing.  My H wet the bed as a kid and is still a really sound sleeper.  My son inherited the gene; my daughter did not.
    High School English teacher and mom of 2 kids:

    DD, born 9/06/00 -- 12th grade
    DS, born 8/25/04 -- 7th grade
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  • fsumomfsumom member
    edited October 2014
    My DD is 8 years old and wets the bed every single night.  I do plan on discussing this at her well check up in November due to her age just to rule out any possible medical issues.  With that being said, some kids are just deep sleepers and it's not something that you can 'train'.
    ~Jessica~ 


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