Not a great work announcement!

Kissel348 · October 2014

So today I decided to announce at work and told my two male bosses. I am 13W4D pregnant and wanted to tell them when I felt comfortable as I do a special job that will require training and help for a replacement while I am out.

They both said congratulations and I asked if I should then tell our HR Director. They said they would take care of it. Later my direct boss called me to his office and shut the door. He said that he talked to HR who said that usually women don’t announce as early as I did because of the “jinx factor.” I went on to say well that is actually false considering there are 4 pregnant people in the firm right now and they all announced earlier than me. He ended the conversation by saying, “But we are still happy for you.”

I went to the bathroom and had a nice long cry. While I realize this isn’t that big of a deal – they just made me feel like crap for telling them and wanting to do the right thing. Made me feel totally stupid for even mentioning it. Not exactly how I expected my announcement to go!

Yaz14 · October 2014

What a ridiculous thing for them to say. I'm sorry your announcement didn't go as planned.

catlover790 · October 2014

I'm sorry they didn't have the reaction you were hoping for. I'm surprised they said it's too early, as I think many people have the "12weeks" in their heads as a good time. I had a coworker announce at 10weeks also.

I'd try not to think about it; they know now so you don't have to worry about when to tell them. You know your baby is doing well, so try not to let it bother you.

I too have been a little nervous about telling at work and was planning on doing it around 12 weeks. After reading this I wonder if I should wait longer! I would maybe wait a little while and if they bring it up again you can discuss the need to help train your replacement. I'm sorry! Hope you feel better!

Duffgurl · October 2014

So sorry you had that experience. Some people are just a-holes.

DixieNormous330 · October 2014

my experience with HR was always that they are the least professional/helpful/useful people in a business.

Puppies+Rainbows+Unicorns · October 2014

That is a crummy thing to say to someone. I have a feeling he is annoyed to have to deal with your maternity leave and might be expressing it unconsciously. 13-16 weeks seems like the perfect time to announce to me.

Sargeantpepper · October 2014

You should talk to hr about that. I'm sorry you didn't have a good announcement. I don't think you announced too early and I think it was thoughtful of you to tell them so they can find a replacement and do training.

ally3242 · October 2014

Sorry that was such a miserable experience that should have been a good one. I'd go tell HR that when you opt to share the news of your pregnancy is your business and they need to take a flying leap. I hope your day gets better...

bmblebea · October 2014

What a weird response from HR and I have no idea why your boss would even repeat that to you anyway. I wouldn't worry about having told them. Everyone at my job assumed I was around 10-12 weeks when I told and were shocked that I waited until almost 14 weeks.

acrotzer · October 2014

That is so irritating. I honestly hate it when people try to tell when you should and should not announce. It's completely up to you, and saying "I'm pregnant" out loud will not jinx your chances of having a healthy baby- not at 2 weeks, 12 weeks, or ever. People are just so rude and never consider the impact of their words.

MitoRachel · October 2014

I wonder if your boss accidentally told HR 3w4d instead of 13w4d? At 16w with my first a complete stranger commented on my pregnancy. I can't imagine that you would be able to wait that much longer to tell your bosses before they would start wondering on their own. Then again, at least the one appears a bit thick!

AMShark · October 2014

I can't believe that HR said that, or that your boss relayed it to you. In fact, I don't think I believe HR said it at all... it sounds like some crazy passive-aggressive statement that your boss made up to get back at you for your impending maternity leave.

... but then again, I tend towards the paranoid.

Either way, the statement was made in poor taste, but there's not much you can do about it now. I would just try to ignore it, and file it in my list of "dumb crap people say."

crossfit704 · October 2014

That kind of makes them ass-hats. Sorry it didn't go as planned

VeggieFan · October 2014

Wow, that was really rude of them. Sorry they rained on your parade.

Flowerstar1023 · October 2014

At the risk of being a potty mouth, fuck him. That's an entirely inappropriate response to an appropriate announcement on your part. Plus, whose business is it if you're 3 weeks and the pee hasn't dried on the stick or 20+ when you announce? That's up to you, not your boss. Plus, you'd think they'd appreciate the heads up.

schwabab · October 2014

Sounds to me like he was threatening your job. Why else would he call you into his office to basically tell you he was disappointed in you announcing you are pregnant...?

I'm very sorry this happened. I would speak to HR about his wrongful comments.

shauna4608 · October 2014

I just told my boss a few weeks ago and I got "I had a feeling this was going to happen" ... lol some people

IndigoGrace · October 2014

What in the actual FUCK?! This just pisses me off! I used to work for a guy who definitely would pull this sort of BS. That he would isolate you alone in his office and make those statements to you is so disgusting and clearly he meant to hurt you.

You need need to reach out to your HR to 1) determine if he actually even told them - and 2) advise them of those remarks and inform them they are inaccurate as well as incredibly unprofessional and unwelcome.

Ifeellikeamammal · October 2014

If your HR person did say that, s/he is neither human nor resourceful....

sagehens47 · October 2014

That is sooooo not their place. Wtf??

Kissel348 · October 2014

Thank you all so much! I feel so much better already after reading all your responses!

miahbelle · October 2014

I feel kinda like this was set up. For them to say "oh we'll handle HR" and then later you get called in and he says that? It seems sketchy to me... I would contact HR myself and tell my bosses in the future that I would be handling contant with them.

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