Sperm donor lawsuit based on race/wrong sperm

pblge · October 2014

Have you ladies heard about this story? Very interesting, and of course very controversial. Personally I think the wrong sperm should always result in a lawsuit, regardless of race, but that's just my opinion. What do you think?
https://www.nbcnews.com/health/womens-health/black-donor-sperm-mistakenly-sent-white-mom-jennifer-cramblett-suit-n215801

southernyankeegirl · October 2014

I agree - wrong sperm would be a lawsuit. The parents are making too big a focus on race, which is why they're being vilified (you've got to move towns because your daughter is half black? Really?). This is honestly a fear of mine. We didn't use a donor, but we did IUI. And the IUI that worked, they confirmed signature and then left the room with the sample before coming back with it in an unlabeled syringe. I know it's incredibly unlikely, but I know there were 3 other IUIs going on at the same time. So yes, a little part of me worries what if DH isn't actually the biological father.

When we've talked about that remote possibility, though, I always just say, "Well, if we ever wonder if you're not the biological father, we'll do a paternity test. And if that baby doesn't share your DNA, we'll love him just the same - we just won't have to worry about paying for his or his future sibling's college tuition!"

Yes, it's different because it's DH vs someone else, but we would sue for sure if there was a mix-up. I think the problem comes from the public thinking, "Well, it's already a donor, so you just don't like that he was black?" No, they wanted to have babies that looked like them as a same sex couple, and they got the wrong donor. Breach of contract.

BalletAn · October 2014

Agreed- sending the wrong sperm is just not okay...I'm also shocked at how little safety control there was at this sperm bank, misreading someone's handwriting? Really, come on now!

This is a secret fear I have myself as well....what if they transferred the wrong embryo, what if they used the wrong sperm/ eggs. At least I know I'm being ridiculous.....or so we hope

Mrs.McIrish · October 2014

As a DE mom to be, I chose a specific donor for specific reasons. I also paid a sh!t-ton of money for that. It's definitely lawsuit worthy and should be a strict liability sort of thing. You can't send the wrong sperm and just refund then$1K (or whatever the cost). That doesn't cut it. As for the race reasons, I don't like what the parents are saying but it is a big deal to send the wrong sperm. Anyone who thinks "oh you got a baby, move on, you needed a donor anyway" is wrong-- choosing a donor is stressful and a lot of thought, time and research goes into selecting who to use. Most people have no experience with choosing a donor and are making light of it.

happygirl1013 · October 2014

We used DS (currently pregnant) and this story is incredibly scary to me. We specifically picked someone who was Indian because that's my DH's ethnicity. I'm okay that they are making this about race, because a huge part of picking a donor is about race, so I understand why the law suit is about that. If picking a donor was just "pick a random person", that would be one thing, but a huge component of it is picking a donor is about background, health records, and race. I can't believe a lab would make such a huge mistake like this. Honestly, it's one of my biggest nightmares.

AMShark · October 2014

This should definitely be a lawsuit, and I hope the mothers win. Choosing a donor is about a whole lot more than race, but I understand that it is one of the factors. I am completely floored that there was so little control at the sperm bank - It's amazing that there haven't been any errors in the past, considering that they were handwriting orders. The sperm bank should absolutely be held accountable.

As far as changing towns - why in the world would anyone want to live in the community that they describe under any circumstances? Maybe living in an ethnically diverse part of the country has made me naive, but what year are we living in that people are going to shun a little girl for being biracial? Maybe the incident has opened the mothers' eyes to the prejudices of their home town - and maybe they should consider it a good thing that they get out now, and move on to more open communities, and a brighter future.

.. And honestly, I have no problem with the sperm bank paying for the relocation. They certainly owe the family something more than a partial refund and an apology (though, according to the interview, no apology has been give) - why not make them pay for the move?

CarSaidYes · October 2014

I agree with the law suit. But My friend had a good point. She said Since they live in "a small town where a child that is biracial isn't really accepted, the clinic probably did it on purpose because they are gay". My friend being a lesbian herself, said that she feels even in bigger cities biracial kids would be more accepted then same sex moms. Made me think. Regardless def law suit is needed. When you take the time and money to pick a donor sperm you want what you paid for. That's like saving money and test driving a BMW and after you pay they bring you a Kia. Not cool.

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TwinsCitiesMomma · October 2014

Also used donor eggs and I have mixed feelings about the situation. I got to a point where I didn't care what my baby looked like, I just wanted to be a mom. But- I would still sue for complete negligence and it IS very important for some to have a particular race- nothing wrong with that. However, I think the words that they used and the fact that it's in the media at all, has really put these women in a bad light.

southernyankeegirl · October 2014

I can't help but think what if it was a heterosexual couple who had MFI. They may have wanted to keep the fact that they used the sperm donor a secret, and with the bank using the wrong sperm donor, that would've been impossible. I completely see how that is worthy of a lawsuit.

pblge · October 2014

@JimBobCooter said:

Now...back to lurking until I get my betas next week. Then I'll hopefully be back to intro.

Tentative congratulations to you, and we hope to see you again soon!

weansworld09 · October 2014

southernyankeegirl said:
I can't help but think what if it was a heterosexual couple who had MFI. They may have wanted to keep the fact that they used the sperm donor a secret, and with the bank using the wrong sperm donor, that would've been impossible. I completely see how that is worthy of a lawsuit.

Exactly this. We used DS due to Azoo with my DH. It took us a great amount of time, emotional distress, and energy to decide to even use DS and then to move onto choosing a donor. We chose our donor based on DH's background and features. We are not ashamed to have used DS by any means, and we would still love our baby. However, some things in life are private & this mix-up would be unforgivable.

Mommalawyer · October 2014

I agree with the lawsuit. It seems as though the media is sensationalizing it so much in a negative way, but are forgetting the simple point that they were not given the correct sperm. From what I've read, the mothers commentary has likely contributed to this negativity, at the end of the day, it's still a medical screw up, which could be a nightmare for anyone.

bumpuser10336873 · October 2014

I agree with the lawsuit as well, and all the previous posters! Making the choice for donor sperm or eggs is emotional, financial and you should get what you've contracted and paid for!

Even though our embryos (our own sperm & egg) were labeled, double checked prior to the transfer by our doctor and the embryologist at our fertility clinic...I'm still nervous! I'm excited to have this baby in 2 months, and I will love her no matter what... but part of me still worries that there could have been an error and this baby isn't biologically ours.

hopeby2015 · October 2014

Having used DE, I too occasionally worry about this! But I have faith in the clinic we used. I also can't believe this happened! I hope they win their lawsuit! That was a major screw up for a sperm bank! That's all they do!

ajlmom · October 2014

I'm surprised that donors are just labeled by a number. And how does 380 sound like 330? I agree there should be a lawsuit and hope they win.

Thankfully IVF should be better controlled. I remember them asking both DH and I our names and DOBs for identifications. (They should be using 2 forms of identifications, but I can see how it was not possible with a donor). I still have random thoughts that baby wouldn't be ours.

penad5 · October 2014

While i agree with the law suit - the sperm bank screwed up and should be held accountable - in a world of social media and global access what is that poor child going to think when she gets older and finds out that the moment she was born her mothers sued because she wasn't want they wanted?

As i said - I agree that the lab should be held accountable and i don't have any other solutions it's just too bad that it could haunt that baby for the rest of her life

southernyankeegirl · October 2014

They are asking for around $50k in damages - I feel like this should have just been settled. The sperm bank hand wrote their requested number of 380 which was misread by the person supplying it as 330. This was discovered when the couple went to order more vials for future siblings and was told they had been sent 330 (baby wasn't born yet).

If a pharmacy had handwritten and misread an order, it would be potentially life threatening. It's completely reasonable that the clinic needs to make amends for that mistake, and I think $50k is the low end of what I personally would be pushing for with a case. I just don't understand why they didn't settle out of court - seems like the sperm bank has more to lose in terms of future business than $50k settlement on what was clearly their screw up.

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Sperm donor lawsuit based on race/wrong sperm

Re: Sperm donor lawsuit based on race/wrong sperm

Me: 26 (IC/PCOS-2000mg of Metformin daily)

DH: 27 (SA results were great minus the slightly low morphology)

Started dating DH in 2002 at 14 years old

Married on 03.01.2014

Officially TTC since April 2014

January 2013- Surprise BFP, m/c at 6 weeks, D&C 2 Weeks later

April 2014- First RE appointment

July 2014- IUI#1-Canx due to scar tissue and polyps. TI with the help of Ovidrel. BFN

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