Feeling really alone

lauraconstantinou · October 2014

This is my first time posting on here. I'm currently 16 weeks pregnant with my first baby and living at home with dad, sister and fiancé while we wait to move into our first owned home in a couple of months. I'm 24 and lost my mum at 16 and just had no idea how hard this would be without her. I feel so alone. I've had really severe sickness and been at the doctors constantly to test my ketones and see if I need to go on a drip. I just feel like I'm in it alone as my sister is only young and I dont have a mother figure to just give me those hugs and be sympathetic towards how I feel. I am so run down and exhausted and I never thought being pregnant would make me so unwell and unhappy. I obviously can't wait for my baby to be here but I'm just feeling lost without my mum and I can't share those feelings with fiancé or dad as they just seem to miss the point every time I mention it. I feel selfish for sitting crying when there are women who can't get pregnant but I just miss her so much and wish she was here and all of my elevated pregnancy emotions have brought it to surface.

JeepersWife · October 2014

I am so sorry you are so sick and lost your mom. I know men don't quite understand what we go through for pregnancy especially when we are having a rough time (they don't know emotions!) but I'd suggest you still talk to your fiancé about what's going on. He is in this to.

Perhaps talk to your dad to see if he remembers how your mom dealt with her pregnancies. Maybe if you knew she was sick too, or how things went for her it would help you feel her as part of your pregnancy.

This is a supportive group and I hope you find comfort in the chatter and support we all give one another.

Congrats on your pregnancy and welcome!

Lark425 · October 2014

Do you have any girlfriends you could talk with? Aunts? Cousins? Grandparents? Mentors? Church group? Neighbors? Psychologist? Talking helps a lot. Your dad and fiancé need to be more understanding of your emotions. You aren't alone. Dealing with loss is hard, hopefully things will get better for you as your pregnancy progresses.

BitsyBelle84 · October 2014

I am sorry you are having such a rough time. I lost my mom when I was twenty and it is especially hard during these life changing events not to have her with me for her guidance, support and love. It is not selfish to miss her or feel sad that she isn't here to go through this with you.

I hope you start feeling better soon, being sick all the time does make it harder to enjoy your pregnancy.

Congratulations and welcome to the board. These ladies are amazing and wonderfully supportive. You are not alone.

lawsonellis · October 2014

I too lost my mom at age 24. I never knew my father.

Being pregnant without your mom is so hard, but I'm using it as a time to try and remember as much about my childhood and my mom, to make sure my daughter will know her through me.

PP is right- you are not alone and talking really does help. This community really is supportive

PM me if you ever need to talk! Welcome and congrats on your baby

Skrittens · October 2014

I'm sorry that you are going through the sadness. And please don't feel guilty for not feeling well and not being happy about it. I am glad you are here and reaching out to people.

Whitfry · October 2014

I don't have anything revolutionary to add. Just wanted to send you hugs from the interwebs.

kdejana · October 2014

Sending hugs and warm thoughts. I hope you feel better. You are not alone, your mom is with you every minute and is loving watching you take this step in life.

LBeez13 · October 2014

That sounds hard to deal with. I'm so sorry. Others gave great advice. I hope your pregnancy starts to get a little easier for you.

ashleyrh661 · October 2014

Sorry you're having such a rough time. Great advice from PP. Reach out to girlfriends that have kids, or aunts and other female family members. I'm sure any of them would love to talk to you about pregnancy and just don't know you are feeling so alone. My husband isn't great with pregnancy talk and feelings either. But it's still important to let your husband know how you are feeling. Even if it's just to cry on his shoulder. Also get involved in this forum. So many great ladies that have lots of advice and support to offer you.

[Deleted User] · October 2014

The user and all related content has been deleted.

rm2013 · October 2014

Don't feel guilty at all! Pregnancy is a very emotional time and having lost your mom recently is really tough. I feel your pain I lost my adoptive mom when I was 18 and have no relationship with my birth mother. Agree with PPs that if you can't find a friend or aunt or other female figure at least talk with a therapist. And if all else fails you can always vent here - you'd be surprised how many people may be experiencing something similar. Hope your sickness and other symptoms improve!

aylaroman15 · October 2014

I'm so sorry for the loss of your mom, I know you are going through a rough time right now. My thoughts and prayers are with you. Love and hugs

rm2013 · October 2014

Um... Also if that's your full name you're using you really should change that ASAP. Very unsafe.

AriFish · October 2014

Sorry you're feeling sad. I know how you feel since I go through the same thing from time to time. Do talk to your fiance even if he doesn't fully "get it". Keeping pent up usually makes me feel more alone. Hope you feel better soon.

lib1974 · October 2014

Huggs.

Unknown · October 2014

This content has been removed.

ajacot924 · October 2014

I'm sorry you are dealing with this. I lost my mom at 18 and I miss her more than ever right now. I wish I could share this with her. My mother in law is wonderful and I go to her a lot with questions, but it just isnt the same. Try to find someone you can talk to like a family member or friend and find ways to include the memory of your mom in your pregnancy. I'm having all grandparents make a journal with memories and I'm writing one on behalf of my mom with memories I have of her.

ruemorgan · October 2014

Im SO sorry you are feeling this way but im glad you said something. Im 23, FTM, and my mom also passed away when I was 16. Her anniversary is this month and its tough. Ive really been struggling. You are not alone, anytime you need someone to talk to you can PM me.

Shellyhume · October 2014

I only half understand how you feel. I lost my father my senior year in high school and it still aches that he never met my children. They would have been the light in his eyes, no doubt. But I know that doesn't even begin to scratch what it must feel like to be experiencing this without your mother.

I completely agree with a PP... Kudos for reaching out like this. Forum friends really are crucial, IMO, when you're experiencing these huge life changes. We, the royal we, know what you're going through with the pregnancy, many can sympathize with the ketones, and I can already see a few can even offer support dealing with pregnancy without your mother.

May I ask what your relationship is like with your future mother-in-law? If she's anything like my mother, she'd be all too happy to offer the love and support of a mother to a mother-to-be...

Many thoughts and prayers for you, Laura. And most of all, I pray you find all the love and support here that you possibly can from an Internet forum.

Christina80xoxo · October 2014

My mom took off when I was 13. At 34 i still cry for her.
I try to take comfort in knowing God put other wonderful people in my life.
It's never quite the same as a mothers love, but I try to embrace it.
I'm sorry you are grieving. You aren't alone.
If you need someone to talk to, you are more than welcome to pm me.
((Hugs))

vargasgurl · October 2014

I'm sorry you are going through such a difficult and emotional time. It really is a roller coaster of emotions and bittersweet. I am sure that you can find a female that you can lean on ... But in the end I know that no one will take the place of your mom.
I had the same feeling when I was expecting my first and there are still time that I wish I had my mothers advise and or help! There are so many questions and feelings that you must have now that you are going to be a mom. I promise it will get better. Try to embrace and enjoy the moment you have right now. It last such a short time.

My mom is still alive but she is disabled and unable to speak .. So there is advise that I will never get from her and questions she can never really answer.
I am sure your mom is w you every step of the way.

Welcome and hope you have a healthy pregnacy. Stay strong

ladylew · October 2014

Hugs. :-bd

lauraconstantinou · October 2014

Wow I am blown away by all of the support you have given me. Thank you so much it means more than you'll ever know xx

JenLa21 · October 2014

I'm so sorry you are going through such a hard time. But like PP have said, it's important to tell your fiancé how you're feeling. He is going to be your partner for life. Maybe there are some kind of resources where you can find a new moms group or something. I think our pediatrician's office has some info on that, maybe you can ask your OB or the pediatrician when you choose one for the baby.

jam1026 · October 2014

I lost my dad 3/6/13 To cancer and i miss him so much. My baby boy is due 3/2/15. I couldnt imagine not having my mom.... I pray for Gods love to rain on you and give you strength during your pregnancy.... Along with warm hugs☺️. Im sorry for this difficult time and if theres anything I can do, please let me know

parisjenne1 · October 2014

Aww

that is rough. 2 very close friends of mine lost their mom when we were just graduating high school. It was very hard to go through their weddings and then through the birth of their children without their mom. Their children are growing up so fast and ten years has passed and they both say it's not always easy without her. They still pick up the phone to call her. But they have both said that they were surprised when sharing these emotions and feeling with their hubbies or their dad, they found the guys were far more supportive than they thought. You still want to be communicating with those close in your life because they are the ones who will be there for you going through this. I am 17 weeks along now and it's pretty scary but yet still so surreal and exciting! But I find I feel so overwhelmed at times emotionally and I'll try and keep it from my husband and I have found it is much easier to just let the tears flow and confide in him. It helps you feel connected to them too.

Lmsq1611 · October 2014

I am so sorry that you are dealing with so much. Some people have mentioned talking to a therapist and I might add that it would be helpful for your fiancé to also talk to a professional. Many therapists can work with a couple to teach them how to better emotionally support each other. Often times men just don't connect to emotions the way we women do but with some help they can learn to be a better emotional support for us during these difficult times. I think it might really help you if your fiancé could better understand your pain, validate your feelings, and just learn how to best support you.

In the meantime you have all of us here to help you through the difficult moments. You are in my thoughts.

MalVough · October 2014

I lost my mom not quite a year ago. Her death was her own doing (alcoholism) and it makes me angry that she'll never meet her grandchild because, of all things, alcohol.

Thankfully, my ex-stepmom (my family tree is interesting) is still in my life. I lean on her a lot, in addition to my sister and a few girlfriends (like, two!).

You just have to find your support system. During my crap days, I'll call my step-mom and get some tears out. Therapeutic!

Hang in there.

ruru143 · October 2014

Completely understand how you feel I lost my mum to. Am happy but constantly scared and needing my mum reassurance I try and get through this by remembering their is a life inside me that will have her blood and DNA. Defo talk to yoyr fiancé you will need his support you can't so this alone xxx

Want a personalized experience?

Feeling really alone

Re: Feeling really alone

Choose Another Board

Search Boards