Is it the right time??

kschneider23 · October 2014

Hello everyone, this is my first time posting in this community! Very exciting

My husband and I want children very badly and are trying to decide if it's the right time. I know there is no right time but I just wanted some opinions. Here is our situation; we both work full time, I just graduated college and he has about 2 years left of college. My current job doesn't pay the best but they are very flexible and allow me to work from home. It is also not in my field for what my degree is in. I personally am trying to decide if I should pursue a job in my field now, or if it's a good time to try to start a family while I have the flexibility in my schedule even though the pay isn't ideal. Any opinions would be fantastic! Thank you in advance!

kschneider23 · October 2014

trntyrebrth. To answer your questions (maybe in order to help other responders), I am 26 years hold, my husband is 28. We both get pretty good benefits with our jobs (health insurance, dental, vision, 401k, etc.) I would love to find a position in my field but I haven't had much luck in the past couple of months. I guess I'm really stuck on deciding if I should take a break in pursuing a new career, or if I would rather start a family right now. Tough decisions!

lifeonthehill · October 2014

I think you really need to make sure H is okay with being in school, working, and having a kid.

I just started college this year. I am a full time student and work part time and I am overwhelmed. We will start TTC next year and I will go slowly though college if we have children and be a SAHM. The hope is that I graduate right before our kids go to kindergarten so I can work. I stress at the thought of having essays, homework, and exams with a child but we have decided it is what we both want to do.

As for your career that is a personal decision. I think you could keep looking for a new job in the meantime. Just because you start trying doesn't mean you will get pregnant right away. If you get pregnant then maybe you should stick with this job until everything is back on track.

EricaOO · October 2014

I work full time as an executive assistant and this is not what I went to college for. However, I like the job, it pays well, and the benefits are good. If you decide to TTC (and then have kids of course), it may be harder to change career paths while the kids are young. Although I like my job, I always see other opportunities out there, however, I am not willing to give up the flexibility I have at my current job since I've been here three years. Just something to think about

EricaOO · October 2014

And I should have included I have an almost 10 month old! In case you didn't notice in my signature.

kasiaskis · October 2014

There are many factors to consider here, but from my experience I would say go get that job in your field first. Job hunting can be incredibly time consuming, especially if your field has a competitive job market. Starting work in a new field can be stressful too as you might have to learn a lot on the job. I can't imagine that getting easier with a little one. The number of children you want and how close in age you would like them also plays a factor. If you put off searching for a job for the first child, would you consider putting it off for the next one too? There's a possibility that it could be many years before you start working a job that I presume you want more than your current one. Of course, the decision is up to you and your husband, and there's is nothing wrong with postponing a career to start a family, as many women have successfully done so.

kschneider23 · October 2014

Thank you everybody for the opinions and worda of advice! It's nice to hear from you all that know what it's like to consider such a big decision. Lots to think about

CNYBride05 · October 2014

I'd say no. Finish school, get jobs you both feel good about, enjoy married life a while. Having kids changes everything, forever and ever. It's amazing, but so hard too. Also, asking a board of strangers when you should start TTC....

kschneider23 · October 2014

Yeah sometimes its great to get people's perspectives who have gone through this.... Hence asking a board of strangers who are unbiased to my situation. Thanks again for the response.

leela02 · October 2014

Working from home does not always mean much more flexibility. It's great when it significantly cuts down on long commutes, gas, etc. but you're still expected to be working, not taking care of kids. So you will likely still need help with child care during the day, whether from DH/relatives or paying for day care/nanny.

You have time to look for a better job in a field that you enjoy, and then TTC. But there's also nothing wrong in choosing to TTC sooner than later. It really depends on what you and your DH want to prioritize and what makes sense for your family in terms of time/money/career management.

jennypolkadots · October 2014

I always chuckle when someone says "I know there isn't a right time". That's not true, it just means right now probably isn't it. You can't control the future or plan for everything but most people can work hard to get to a place that really does feel right. When we started ttc it definitely was the right time for us and there was nothing holding us back.

Mostly I would just run your budget. Can you afford the necessities of an infant? What if you have twins? What if your child has a special medical condition? It's just good to try to be prepared even if you can't plan for everything. It's not uncommon to have pregnancy complications and not be able to work for a while, so consider what you would do in that scenario. You also need to consider the cost of birth and cost of staying home for 6 weeks until day cares will allow your LO to be there. Check into your insurance maternity coverage and add up all those co-pays. Also see how much infant insurance will cost you. Even if you work from home, you will likely need help to care for a newborn and get things done. There are lots of factors - diapers, formula (or pumping supplies/logistics), childcare, health insurance, nursery items, and saving for emergencies and any other goals you have like buying a house. A baby also adds stress to your home life and you and your partner would need to talk about each of your roles and how much time and effort he can contribute outside of going to school.

It's ultimately up to you. DH and I have both been through the post-college job market and it can be hard to land a good paying job in a specific field. We both did, but it does take time and dedication. I don't know what your degree is in or your work background, so that can change things. I can't imagine going through the stress of launching a career while having an infant, but of course people do it and make it work. If you are both young I would recommend you getting into a new career with better pay, him graduate college and find a job, and then start planning your family. Enjoy married life for now! You will feel so much more prepared once you finally do have a child and it's worth the wait.

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