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February 2014 Moms
shellbell3845
member
FFFC
shellbell3845
member
This discussion has been closed.
Re: FFFC
Confession: I've also borrowed the next 6 books in the series and I keep hoping it'll get me feeling amorous/randy by the time I get home from work...but alas, it wears off when I walk in the house. No nookie for H right now!
~s.h.
38 y.o. w/PCOS
...
August Siggy Challenge-Rainbows & Unicorns
March 10, 2014 - G was born
lol, didn't you eat some of his puffs last week too? I think you just secretly love baby snacks.
My baby was happier to see my sister this morning than she was to see me yesterday at pick up.
Obviously the bank messed up big time, and that sucks for them that they picked up a certain person to be the father of their child and didn't get what they paid for. But there's something that just doesn't sit right for me to bemoan your racist neighborhood that was previously perfectly fine to raise a baby in, when that baby was white.
Basically I feel like saying you don't like your racist neighborhood now that it impacts your kid is super shitty. I cannot roll my eyes hard enough at the claims about "oooo how do I deal with her hair?!?!" The internet is a magical place filled with websites loaded with information on this topic, you tube videos, etc.
ETA - FWIW, they didn't do nothing, they did refund them for $ they paid.
@ boogerbearorignial: Obviously the bank messed up big time, and that sucks for them that they picked up a certain person to be the father of their child and didn't get what they paid for.
just a fyi: A father is a role, a donor is just that, someone who donated. They have no legal rights to our child, nor are they paying child support or doing the Rudy wake up's with us.
After reading the article I sensed an undertone that because they're gay they should "just be happy they got a baby". We spent weeks carefully selecting a donor, not a father, who reflected our family. There are certain medical conditions that we picked based on our own health history. Suppose you have CF and you pick a donor who is not a carrier. What if then you get sent the wrong sperm and that donor is postive for CF. What then? It's not all based on race. Perhaps that's just the angle they choose to focus on.
This is one of the biggest decisions I had to make as a parent. Chosing the other half of our child's DNA is a very personal choice and one that involves many factors and yes that includes race, religion, and medical history.
So much of our TTC process is out of our hands.. This is the one thing we have power over and to have that choice taken from you is heartbreaking. What do they tell their child if she asks why she doesn't look like them? Do they tell her the truth that there was a mix up or do they lie to her? How does one reconcile that within themselves and then to their child.
My guess is that she has experienced discrimination for being gay. I know I have. It hurts. She probably wanted to spare her child that same fate if she can.
There is other story here that is being masked. The truth that sperm banks do not have enough FDA oversight. This wasn't the first bank to make this mistake. And it won't be the last until they're is more regulations in place.
***I apologize if these thoughts are incoherent. This story touches too close to home for me.
*****We've paid out over $12,000 in sperm. It's not cheap!!
I know I may be the dark horse on this one, but I sure hope to join you soon!!!
@Madisonpenny - I listen to it on my way home from work until I park in the garage - 45minutes - unless I listen to it while feeding G and putting him to bed, which just seems creepsketchy, I don't know that I can get any later...
Eventually I have to start wanting to dtd again, right?
~s.h.
38 y.o. w/PCOS
...
August Siggy Challenge-Rainbows & Unicorns
March 10, 2014 - G was born
IT TOTALLY SUCKS! G loves me - at home. G loves me - when we're out. When I take him to dc in the morning it's totally -
"OMG THERE'S MANTHA AND KENNEDY!!! oh yeah, c'ya later mom, I'm all good"
(at least that's what I imagine G's facial expressions translate to in his baby brain)
@paulheath I keep waffling (is that a real expression) on whether or not I want another one...I'm reluctant to go back on bc because of the trouble we had conceiving, but at the same time I keep thinking, 'Hmm it's good H and I haven't been dtd during this pp-fertile time because I don't know if I can handle 2 under 2..." and we couldn't afford it - though if we had another one we could get help from the state with child care, but that's not a reason to have a baby.
~s.h.
38 y.o. w/PCOS
...
August Siggy Challenge-Rainbows & Unicorns
March 10, 2014 - G was born
I POAS 7 times last week. Yes. Seven times. Once a day for the wole week because I was CONVINCED I was pregnant. Sick to my stomach, heartburn, peeing every 5 seconds, exhausted, sore boobs, and all of a sudden I didn't like my coffee in the mornings. I still drank it, but the thought of it made me sick.
I can't believe I'm admitting this to you guise.
I can't imagine how frustrating and costly the whole process is for couples who have to go this route. And I don't disagree that there should be more oversight, because clearly the bank was negligent and made a huge error.
I don't know about the rest of the world, but if it were a man/woman saying the same things I'd feel the same way. It's a complicated situation and I feel conflicted because I do feel bad for these women that this happened. But on the other hand, I feel bad for their daughter who is totally innocent in all this and will eventually learn that her moms didn't want her, they wanted a white baby. That's the part where I am losing sympathy for them. It's just a shitty situation all around.