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going back to work...advice?

acorn99acorn99 member
in Working Moms
Hi all, this is my first post to this board and I was hoping for some advice and moral support :) I have been out on maternity leave since August 1st and I will be heading back to work in a couple of weeks. I am really stressing myself out about the first day of LOs daycare and his adjustment (truthfully, I should probably say my adjustment). Does anyone have any advice on how to get through this? I am looking forward to going back to work, and I feel really confident in the daycare we have chosen, but I can't help picturing in my mind him screaming all day because I am not there to comfort him. He has been really clingy the last couple of weeks and has not been great for DH or my parents when they watch him, so I can only speculate the worst for a group of new people. Thanks! :)
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Re: going back to work...advice?

  • ricekezricekez member
    Can you go see your baby at lunch when you're back at work? I do that and I find it really helps with the transition back to work. Other than that, just be extra organized and don't expect to jump in 100% right away at work. Your coworkers should know/expect that you'll need a little bit of transition. You'll hear this a million times, but it's true that it gets easier with time. And most daycares are great with babies. Daycare workers are masters of distraction and will know exactly how to calm a fussy baby.

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  • ErinO21ErinO21 member
    Take it one day at a time. Morning and evening routines were trial and error for a while for us and cleaning/laundry fell by the way side too.
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  • MommyAttyMommyAtty member
    I worked at a daycare in college. I never once saw a baby cry all day. Or even for longer than maybe 15 minutes. Babies are phenomenally adaptable and daycare ladies are just awesome with babies. Be prepared to cry, though. Give yourself permission to cry for a few minutes, then remind yourself of all the reasons you're working. Be as good and kind to yourself as you would be to your best friend. No beating yourself up!!
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  • acorn99acorn99 member
    Thank you all for your kind words, they are very reassuring. I am thinking that the week before I go back to take him for a few short days just do that I can get used to the routine, without having to get up so early for work at the same time. I work 30 minutes away from his daycare, so no lunchtime visits for me. That is probably for the best, though, because I think I would have a hard time leaving him twice.
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  • TheBorg7of9TheBorg7of9 member
    At this age, I'm not sure there is any benefit to bringing him for a visit. I would just relax and do something fun, like go to the zoo instead. He will adapt quickly. :)
    My TTC History:
    2009: missed miscarriage #1 at 9 weeks (trisomy 16)
    2010: Infertility
    2011: Diagnosis and treatment (low sperm count, anastrozole for DH, clomid for me + IUI)
    2012: Baby #1
    2014: Baby #2
    October 2015: missed miscarriage #2 at 11 weeks (trisomy 22)
    March 2016 BFP#5, due November 2016.

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  • Brittnic531Brittnic531 member
    Let yourself have all the feels! It does get easier and you'll eventually develop a routine that works for both of you.  The first few weeks back to work, I did nothing in the evenings except cuddle and play with LO... forget chores or cooking... it's what I needed to be ok with the transition.  I also told the daycare that if LO cried longer than x-amount of minutes, then I wanted them to call me.  I trust that they will if that ever happens, but thankfully it hasn't.  I just needed the peace of mind to know that I could still come and comfort LO when she needed me.  I can't just pop in either, but my work is flexible if I have to leave at all.  LO did adapt to her own routine at daycare, which is different than when she's at home, but it works for all of us, and she's a happy girl. Hugs to you momma, it's tough!!!   
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  • MommyAttyMommyAtty member
    acorn99 said:
    Thank you all for your kind words, they are very reassuring. I am thinking that the week before I go back to take him for a few short days just do that I can get used to the routine, without having to get up so early for work at the same time. I work 30 minutes away from his daycare, so no lunchtime visits for me. That is probably for the best, though, because I think I would have a hard time leaving him twice.

    DD stayed with my in laws, and I did this the week before I went back. It gave me confidence that I could do it before it was "real." Then my first week back, I worked half days. It was a way to ease into things.
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  • BabyHope2013BabyHope2013 member
    I totally agree with the PP---skip the daycare trial and go do something fun with your little one. Go to the zoo, walk around the mall or just sit on the couch and snuggle. It isn't your LO that will be facing a big adjustment---it will be you as the mom. I was in your same shoes the weeks leading up to when I went back. DS did just fine at his first day in daycare---in fact he did awesome in his first week. At this young of an age, they truly will be sleeping most of the time you are gone anyway. He will barely realize you are gone. Enjoy the last few days of maternity leave---get every possible snuggle in that you can. 
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  • skibunny59skibunny59 member

    Big hugs for you.  Going back to work sucks but you will be ok and you and your LO will do just fine.  We've all been there.  Try not to think about it and enjoy the last of your maternity leave.

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