Any moms started BFing then to decide it wasn't for them?

BabymamaLL · October 2014

I am a FTM and I decided to start out BFing my little one. My milk didn't come in for 7 days, so we had to supplement with formula because LO was losing too much weight. Finally when my milk did come in, my supply was so low, despite all my effort of BFing, then pumping right after while daddy fed her a bottle to try to build my supply. Finally I decided that BFing just wasn't for me, not only because of my supply issues, but it just didn't feel like what I was supposed to be doing. I'm still struggling a little with the guilt of stopping, so I was just wondering if there were any other moms out there that could offer an encouraging word that I made the right decision?

chardonnay24 · October 2014

You have to do what works for you. Happy mama = happy baby. I EPd with my first and felt tremendous guilt for not being able to make BFing work for us. My supply tanked at 6 months and we started formula. It took me a long time to get over it, but he's now a healthy and happy 3 year old and I don't regret it at all.

amom2four · October 2014

Don't feel guilty. The most important thing is that your lo is being fed. I ff dd1 and started bf ds1 but with 2u2 and an asshat of an xh, I only lasted a few weeks. Dd2 was bf until I had to have my gallbladder out when she was about 5-6 months and it must have changed something in my milk because she wasn't having it and we switched to formula. I will make the decision in a hot second if it is what my baby needs and I will not feel guilty or explain my decision to anyone, and neither should you.

You just need to do what is best for you and your lo and if that means formula, know that you are doing what they need to have a full belly and that's all that matters!

conradraging · October 2014

BFing didn't work for me, right now I'm EPing. I get more frustrated with it every day and think it would be easier to ff. But I feel guilty too. We should just remember that the important thing is LO is getting fed and whatever works for you and makes you and baby happy is perfectly fine.

kriley602774 · October 2014

I was in a similar boat. I was separated from LO for 2 days as he was transferred to a NICU at an outside facility. My milk came in on day 5 and things seemed to be going well. Well, my supply never seemed to increase and actually decreased from getting 1-1.5 oz per pump session to 0.5-0.75 oz per session. We were supplementing with formula as well since little guy was still ravenous after nursing. At just over 3 weeks I decided to stop BF. I was feeling so guilty and cried about it before making the final decision but in the end, both myself and baby are so much happier. I'm still bummed it didn't work out, but like everyone says, happy mom = happy baby and vice versa.

don't worry about anyone else's opinion either, that was one thing that bothered me. You just have to do what's right for you!

an02102 · October 2014

Don't feel guilty, this was exactly my story twice, and both times we ended up on formula within a week of birth. It is tough because so much emphasis is on BF right now, but you need to make the right choice for your family do what you need to be able to enjoy your LO.

jht14 · October 2014

My milk came in but I couldn't get my supply to increase. I was only getting about .5 oz out of both breasts. It was very discouraging. We had to start supplementing right after being discharged from the hospital. I was stressed because I so badly wanted to BF. I finally broke down and knew I could keep going like I was and we started FF. I haven't had any rude comments but I still feel guilty especially with all these viruses floating around. But I made the best decision for my LO and I won't feel bad for that.

Do whatever is right for you and your LO!

jaime52005 · October 2014

With my first I had the same issue plus she was colic. I beat myself up so much over BF not working and I felt so guilty.

With this baby I stared BF in the hospital but after 24 hours decided to FF because I was having such anxiety over my labor .. Being away from my DD.. Not having a name for our DS that I had a break down and decided I didn't feel like BF was for me..I didn't feel like I should be doing it plus I was concerned it was going to take more time away from my DD which have me more anxiety.

You really just have todo what is right for you and your baby. Don't over think it because it will drive you crazy because you will juSt keep going back and forth with emotions!

If you really want to BF go see a LC to see if they could help but don't feel guilty for FF.

formerwigirl · October 2014

You are not alone! I struggled really bad with this and still am dealing with it. I had issues with BF and DS wasn't getting enough from me that the doctor had us supplement when he was 5 days old. I even saw a LC to get help but was still struggling. I then tried to EP but my supply just wasn't there. When we saw the pediatrician the following week I asked him what we should do. He told us to just FF (I should also add I think it also didn't help that I am on depression meds that haven't had many studies done in regards to being on them while BF). I struggled with the decision but in the end it came down to as long as DS was full then that was all that mattered. I am still mourning my decision but I packed away my pump and now I am just waiting for my breast soreness to go away. I am ready to put this chapter behind me. I have to keep reminding myself that I tried and it just didn't work out. I've met plenty of people who were FF and they turned out just fine. In fact, in my neighborhood, we have had quite a few babies born in the last year. All but 1 are currently FF exclusively while the 1 is BF at morning and night but gets formula during the day. Hang in there and know you are not alone!!! You are doing what is best for your LO!

jortiz780 · October 2014

Definitely do what feels right for you and LO. It's hard not to feel bad about not breastfeeding... I can relate. My milk came in on day 6 so we had to supplement with formula in the hospital. She had a great latch but was not wanting to stay on and she would cry wanting food a few mins later. It was hard but we wanted to keep LO happy and healthy. When we got home it was the same thing, so we kept supplementing. With no sleep, the baby blues, LO crying all the time and feeling overwhelmed, we decided to FF.

A little over a week later when things called down a bit and I started to get some sleep, I decided I would try to relactate. I was putting her to the breast before feeding formula and pumping after the feeding. She still had an awesome latch, I was taking Fenugreek, reading about relactation, pumping, but it just wasn't working. I ended up giving up on that too.

I definitely have guilt about stopping breastfeeding and the relactation process but we had to do what was best for my sanity and our family.

Good luck with your decision. I agree with PP... It's hard I know but you have to do what's best for you.

kleigh926 · October 2014

We FF from the start this time, but I only made that decision less than a week from my due date. Until then I had been planning on trying to BF and see how it went. I nursed my first and it was a nightmare. We had lots of issues and I hated it most of the time. I was seriously feeling dread and anxiety about BF'ing again. The thought of doing it actually made me start crying one night and that's when I knew it wasn't the right decision for us this time. I have no regrets about choosing to formula feed. You need to do what works for you and if that's formula, there is nothing wrong with that!

BabymamaLL · October 2014

Thank you so much ladies! It makes me feel better knowing I'm not alone. Almost everyone I know with new babies is breastfeeding and thriving at it, so that's why I was struggling.

SingleMom31 · October 2014

Thank you for posting this. We're really struggling with BF and I want to give up, but feel guilty about it, esp since I EBF our first. I know that a happy baby and a happy mama are the important parts, but I'm still having a hard time making the decision. Hugs for making the decision.

str13 · October 2014

I tried BF LO but my milk never came in and it felt like she was sucking my backbone out, she kept losing weight at her one week appt. We were going to have supplement. But I decided just to go ahead and FF. I felt bad at first, bad that I couldn't BF when it had gone so much better than with DD1, and also bad that LO had been so hungry! But LO is nice and full now!!

don't feel bad momma!!

Bella2425 · October 2014

I did with my first. Lasted all of 2 weeks before switching to ff. I've given myself a goal of 1 month with this one and even though it's going better so far, I can't say I love it. Don't feel guilty, as long as your baby is fed and loved , you are a great mom!

BabyMayinMarch · October 2014

DS was formula fed as I just Couldn't get my anxiety under control to BF. With DD I have been determined to breastfeed and it is killing me. She had a tongue tie we had to wait for a week to fix, which had her have a shallow latch so she cracked my nipples so bad they became ulcerated. I have been to many LC's and I am just miserable. Friday the doctor said I have thrush which is why my nipples burn all day. DD didn't gain any weight in a week so I have to supplement her now, and try to pump, all while taking care of a 19 month old. This weekend I decided to switch to formula. I am tired of being in pain, anxious, and feeling guilt. My husband is devastated, but it have to do what's best for me mentally and physically.

slowmo · October 2014

I totally understand how you feel. BFing didn't work out for us for the many of the same reasons discussed above (poor latch, milk not coming in). We started off supplementing with formula, but now baby is getting most of his nutrition from formula and about 20 percent from pumped breast milk. We've given up on nursing. I'll pump as long as I can, but my supply is dwindling.

I felt so much better after seeing our pedi for his two-week checkup. After feeding him primarily formula, he finally started gaining weight. In fact, he was up two pounds! He was underweight and dehydrated at his first appointment (before we started supplementing), so the doctor was pleased. I shared with her my guilt about not breastfeeding, and she said it was clear that the baby was thriving on formula so not to worry. Even though he's my kid and what to feed him is my decision, I still felt relieved to get a health care professional's OK that what I was doing was fine.

The amount of dishes (between bottles and pump parts) is overwhelming at times, but he is eating and we're all a little more sane!

JanisBaby14 · October 2014

I'm in the same boat. I was so sick at the end of my pregnancy due to pre-e that I was induced at 36 weeks with a swollen left eye, blurred vision and spiking blood pressures. My eye issues and blood pressures continued well into two weeks after delivery. We were working on BFing, but my supply didn't come in. And after many meltdowns of having a hungry baby and a frustrated momma, we just decided that formula was the best. And he's gaining weight really well.

Now I'm just nervous I'm not preparing his bottles correctly. I've been using room temperature bottled water. Not boiling it or warming. We use the Up&Up brand for sensitive stomachs. Does anyone have a special way of preparing their bottles?

BabyMayinMarch · October 2014

JanisBaby14 said:
I'm in the same boat. I was so sick at the end of my pregnancy due to pre-e that I was induced at 36 weeks with a swollen left eye, blurred vision and spiking blood pressures. My eye issues and blood pressures continued well into two weeks after delivery. We were working on BFing, but my supply didn't come in. And after many meltdowns of having a hungry baby and a frustrated momma, we just decided that formula was the best. And he's gaining weight really well.

Now I'm just nervous I'm not preparing his bottles correctly. I've been using room temperature bottled water. Not boiling it or warming. We use the Up&Up brand for sensitive stomachs. Does anyone have a special way of preparing their bottles?

In Alberta Canada they recommend boiling water and sterilizing bottles for the first 4 months. So I boil water and then let it get to room temp then make bottles as needed with powder formula.

jht14 · October 2014

I use room temperature water. We were buying bottled water but now I'm just boiling our tap water and letting it cool before pouring it into a jug.

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