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Babies: 0 - 3 Months
Catholic moms...a ? and a wwyd
1st the (hopefully) simple question...what is an appropriate donation to make to the church for a baptism?
And now for the wwyd?...we have asked our friends (a couple) to be Hadley's godparents. We have been friends for years and I am their son's godmother. We love them and see them lots but I will be honest there are closer friends and family members that we would have asked 1st had we not been required to have 1 godparent who is a "catholic in good standing."
Here is the prob, my church requires a letter the day of the baptism from one of the godparent's home churches stating they are in good standing, my friend's church won't write her a letter stating she is in good standing b/c they were not married in the church! There is noone else we could ask (plus I wouldn't want to!) to be godparents. So would you call your church and explain the situation or just show up on the day of the christening and explain, figuring they won't turn you away at that point?
Why is nothing ever simple! This friend is a good person and went through catholic school, is raising her sone catholic and would make a darn good godparent!
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Re: Catholic moms...a ? and a wwyd
On the first item- I'm glad you asked because I don't know the answer to that myself! For our wedding the church asked for a "donation" of $300. *eyeroll* that they ASKED for a donation. LOL!
I would explain to your church the situation with the godparent and I bet if your church goes as far as to even call the church of the other godparent (and I bet they won't), everything will be resolved. Good luck!
You could try explaining the situation to your home church and see what happens. Another option could be having someone else who can get a letter be a Godparent, and have these two be Christian Witnesses.
I wouldn't just show up at the church and hope for the best. Worse case scenario they won't do the ceremony, best case you're being kind of disrespectful.
As for the donation, I am giving $75. We had a ceremony that was separate from the Mass. It was about 30 min long and the priest stayed for awhile after to take pictures of all of us. It was so nice! You could probably do less if the ceremony was a short one during Mass.
Good luck, I hope you figure something out that works for you, and you have a beautiful ceremony
As for the donation I would do something generous, but not extravaggant. We will probably do $100.
As for the baptism question, I would talk to your priest. Honestly, most tend to take situations into consideration and tend to be a bit less "these are the rules" than the lay people that run the programs. They may ask to meet the potential God parents and this would give you time to do that. Although I am a big fan of the "easier to get forgiveness than permission" rule I would hesitate in this situation. The last thing you would want is your baby to not be baptised on the day if you have others coming. I know sometimes a pain remember it is a tradition and a great faith to pass on to your child; the church is only trying to make sure that happens.
I would talk to the church about it before the baptism, it would be terrible to be turned away on the day of the ceremony. Our church is pretty laid-back I guess because they did not ask for anything like that from our godparents.
As far as the donation, I would say maybe $100 - $200. It was $300 for our wedding and this is way less of a big deal. Our church said "just give whatever you want" and I totally forgot to give them anything! I plan to send them a check this week.
We gave $50 to the church. DD's baptism was held several states away in my home town. We meet with the Priest where we live for Baptism Prep, so we donate here as well. The church in my home town was horribly un-helpful. Huge issues on their part and really unkind about everything. The church where we live was AMAZING.
WWYD? The church may be able to provide a sponsor for the baptism and allow the Godparents stand in as well. Also, ask your friend if another she knows another parish that may write the letter. Her children's school priest or her parish growing up may be willing to write the letter.
I am a converted Catholic who picked this faith after many years of reflection (DH is not Catholic, nor is anyone in my family). We found the Baptism process and the parish back home to be very discouraging and were really upset. Had it not been for the Priest here and the parshioners here, we may have left the church over the behavior they exhibited. I spent a great deal of time and thought ensuring that I was prepared to commit to this faith and was very embarrassed by the Priest's treatment of me and DD at the Baptism (and prior). It was difficult to defend my faith and the church to my friends and family. I agree that the church is ensuring that the child is given great guidance in the faith, however, the church should consider being more "user friendly".
Wow I'm sorry you had such a terrible time! It really is too bad that it is so dependent on what parish and what priest you're dealing with. I wish it were more streamlined and uniform. We had a great experience, but I know people who were treated very badly in my opinion. I'm glad that you have a church and priest that you're comfortable with now.
I worried about being in this position myself with my sister serving as Kendall's godmother. I was prepared to offer a very nice ($1000) donation to her church if needed in order to get the letter. Luckily, it didn't come to that. This is something you may want to consider when speaking to your friend's church's secretary.
It's sad to say but after years of CCD, Catholic high school, and attending a Catholic university, I am well aware that money talks.