Freaking out over milestone...

Lizzy0809 · October 2014

Hi, I haven't posted here much but I thought you ladies might understand what I'm feeling more that my BMB. I hope that's ok! Sorry in advance for the novel... So, I miscarried in July at 7-7.5 weeks, but the baby stopped growing at 5.5 weeks. I'm right at 5.5 weeks again and just feeling very freaked out and worrying that maybe I should be doing something? So I called my midwife today, who I won't be seeing until 11.5 weeks. I asked if maybe I should have my progesterone tested or hcg levels or something. She said that progesterone levels can vary greatly and if there is a worry about that they just give extra a lot of times, just to be safe. She said maybe we could do hcg, she'd call me later today. So, that was at 9:30 this morning and I'm still waiting for a call at 2:00. I get that there is nothing wrong right now and I'm over-reacting when there is very little reason to worry but... I'm just scared of it happening again.

megbmeg · October 2014

It's definitely normal to be anxious, especially around loss milestones. Is it possible for them to schedule you are an u/s earlier than 11 weeks, given your history? Lots of docs and MWs are understanding about that. Hang in there!!

MSU_Girl1202 · October 2014

I'm sorry you're having such a rough time. I myself am also guilty of comparing this pregnancy to my last, but you just have to keep reminding yourself that this is not the same pregnancy, and today you're pregnant. Big ((hugs))

Lizzy0809 · October 2014

Thanks! I guess part of why I'm having such a rough time is because I was fine before today. I was a little nervous but today I just woke up totally freaked out. So I'll try and take your advice and not compare, you're right. I am pregnant today and right now everything is fine. I'll also check with my midwife to see if I can come it a bit sooner.

christia10 · October 2014

I understand. Can they do a Doppler while you're there's for blood work? My ob/gyn told me I can come in anytime if I need to do so. She has had more than one mc herself so she says she genuinely understands. Remember your midwife/ob works for you. You are your own best advocate and there are other health care professionals if you are unhappy.

Samuelismomma · October 2014

So sorry your so worried. I hope the dr gets you in for testing. I would also see about earlier us maybe around 8 weeks? So you can see your past your milestone! It is worth a shot! Good luck!

pblge · October 2014

FamousAmos1223 said:

Honestly, and it sounds terrible, but to put my mind at ease I'll sometimes call my obgyn and tell them I'm having really bad cramping and some bleeding and they'll get me in for an US. That's the only way they'll give me one. Otherwise, I have to wait until my appointment which seems decades away. With my history, seeing the baby is the only thing that puts me at ease and I'll do what I have to do to make sure I'm at ease.

If they wouldn't do an u/s for me before 11.5, I would definitely try this. I think it's cruel to make a PgAL lady wait that long! I will say that the occasional freak-out days are totally normal, but they usually pass. I had one yesterday for no good reason! Feeling better today.

Lizzy0809 · October 2014

Thanks again ladies! You are all making me feel better, I was feeling like I was being "the crazy pregnant lady." Today I feel a little better, although I never got called back yesterday. I'm also wondering if I should maybe go to an OB. I know my midwife practice is just for low risk mamas so maybe they're just not as sensitive. I'm feeling frustrated and confused now :-/

BackstreetPixie · October 2014

I totally get why you feel that way. It is totally normal. ::hugs:: i hope all is well! If you feel like you need to see baby sooner to feel at ease ask about it. Explain your anxieties. My ob has shown me mine on portable ultrasound every week from 6-12 and i will see again tuesday (i will be 14w sunday)

smcniff · October 2014

So I am at a practice where one ultrasound per pregnancy is standard (at 20 weeks). At the beginning of this pregnancy I advocated for myself and insisted on an early one (I got it at 8 weeks). My MC was a missed miscarriage. My blighted ovum (development stopped before 6 weeks) was not discovered until nearly 10 weeks. I was prepared to leave my practice and find one willing to give my an early ultrasound if this one was not.

That being said, my office does not have an ultrasound. I am sent to the local hospital for the test and the doctor needs a legit reason to order it. For me we used my irregular cycle as an excuse to get a "dating ultrasound." @FamousAmos1223 uses cramping and bleeding to accomplish the same thing.

I also used my doppler a lot, but not until 11 weeks after my MW was able to find the HB in the office. I have used it much less since I started feeling movement at 17w4d.

Good luck to you. Try the mantras out and remember that you are not alone. We have all been where you are now.

Lizzy0809 · October 2014

Thank you! I am trying to just relax and keep my mind occupied with other things. My midwife ended up calling me back Friday and had me go in to get my progesterone and hcg levels checked. I go back Monday for a second draw. She did say that they really don't do that unless you've had 3 miscarriages but since I was so anxious she went ahead and ordered them. I think if my levels are good than I will feel better waiting until my 11/12 week appt. The office I go to also sends us out to the hospital for ultrasounds, and only 1 at 20 weeks. I'll try to hold out... I haven't felt nearly as panicked/anxious as I did the other day, so we'll see!

chicagojackie · October 2014

You're too soon for a Doppler. Unless you are quite slim you don't reliably get a heartbeat until 10-12 weeks, with most hearing at 12-13 weeks. Obviously there are going to be special snowflakes that were sooner or later but that's the average.

chicagojackie · October 2014

The waiting is the worst! Hang in there.

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