Need to tell someone! TMI

najzomax · October 2014

I'm kind of freaking out! I *think* I might be pregnant but hubby had a vasectomy two years ago.

I stopped tracking my cycles after DD was born because I knew we weren't having another baby and am generally very regular. Because of this, and having moved at the end of August, I don't remember exactly when my last period started but I do know I was expecting it to start late last week sometime. I had a little spotting on Friday and assumed that was it but AF never arrived! And I've had absolutely no AF symptoms at all (no cramping, no pms, no headache which I get every month).

What are the odds I could be pregnant?

najzomax · October 2014

We were supposed to be one and done since DH has two older boys from a previous relationship. I a little nervous about how he will react if I am. Also, he never went for the follow up test to confirm the vasectomy worked despite me reminding him to do it a hundred times. I'm not worried he will accuse me of cheating but I'm afraid he will be upset.

najzomax · October 2014

Thanks

najzomax · October 2014

So it was a false alarm... But now I have a bigger problem. I didn't realize how much I wanted another baby until I thought there was a chance.

There is no chance DH would reverse the vasectomy even if we had the money (we don't) and I'm sitting here crying because it just hit me that I really am not going to have another baby. We agreed to just one child before we got married and I dont feel like I really understood what I was agreeing to when I did.

On top of that, part of me is mad at DH for not getting the test done. If he had done the test like he was supposed to I wouldn't have wondered in the first place

Am I being completely crazy?

littleredfish · October 2014

I think sudden "endings" when it comes to our kiddos are always hard. Heck, I'm a sobbing mess when I put away clothes DD is too big for. She's potty training and I'm already dreading fully packing up her cloth diapers cause that means she's done with that last thing that makes her a "baby". One of my friends posted this on her FB page and while it's sad and it made me cry, it just goes to show that no matter hoe many babies we have we all long to get "one more" of a moment with them; especially when you're done having babies.

From the moment you hold your baby in your arms you will never be the same
You might long for the person you were before
When you had freedom and time
And nothing in particular to worry about
You will know tiredness like you never knew it before
And days will run into days that are exactly the same
Full of feedings and burping
Nappy changes and crying
Whining and fighting
Naps or a lack of naps
It might seem like a never-ending cycle

But don’t forget….
There is a last time for everything
There will come a time when you will feed your baby for the very last time
They will fall asleep on you after a long day
And it will be the last time you ever hold your sleeping child
One day you will carry them on your hip then set them down
And never pick them up that way again
You will scrub their hair in the bath one night
And from that day on they will want to bathe alone
They will hold your hand to cross the road
Then never reach for it again
They will creep into your room at midnight for cuddles
And it will be the last night you ever wake to this
One afternoon you will sing “the wheels on the bus” and do all the actions
Then never sing them that song again
They will kiss you goodbye at the school gate
The next day they will ask to walk to the gate alone
You will read a final bedtime story and wipe your last dirty face
They will run to you with arms raised for the very last time.

The thing is, you won’t even know it’s the last time
Until there are no more times. And even then, it will take you a while to realize.

So while you are living in these times, remember there are only so many of them and when they are gone, you will yearn for just one more day of them.
For one last time.

I'm sorry you're having such a hard time with the outcome of your final decision. Hopefully the pain your feeling now IS just a passing longing for your baby days with your DD, that will subside before too long.

As far as blaming YH, it's natural to try to place blame when you feel cornered in a decision you now aren't sure of, but at the end of the day you made the decision together and thought it would be best for your family. Try to remember your reasons for that decision and if you're still feeling like something is missing, then you'll need to sit down and talk it out.

najzomax · October 2014

Thank you littleredfish.

Dh and I did have a long talk last night and while nothing changed I do feel better. It's not that I'm angry with him for the decision, we made it together and it's not his fault I feel this way now. What I was angry about was the fact he never went for the test which left me with a small glimmer of hope because we never confirmed that it worked. I acknowledge that that is silly however he is going to do the test as soon as he can just to ease my mind.

With this move everything has fallen into place and we now have the life we always said we wanted. I am doing my best to out thoughts of another baby aside and focus on all the good we have. i have a beautiful daughter who I get to stay home with every single day. I get to take her to all kinds of activities and give her 100% of my time and energy. And I have a wonderful husband who loves me and shows me every day.

Thank you for listening and understanding

bellelamb · October 2014

Hugs! I know it's hard knowing there will be no more even if it's what's you want. I chose to be fixed but some times long for a daughter

I hope dh can get his test asap for you!

ELF4321 · October 2014

We are also OAD, for a number of reasons. I still occasionally feel pangs of regret, even though I know it's the best decision for our family. ((Hugs))

mrsshawnavanb · October 2014

@najzomax- glad you're feeling better. If you continue to feel that you want another baby, would you guys ever consider adoption?

@Littleredfish- that was the sweetest thing I've read in awhile, and I sat at my desk at work crying as I read it and thought about how true it is.

@bellelamb- Can you share your experience with me? I'm thinking about having my tubes tied after DS is born, but am worried about the extra down time since I will only have DH home with me for 2 weeks of my 6 weeks home with both kiddos. I thought about going and having it done at a later time but then I worry that we will have to be super careful until that time comes which we are not great at.