* * TTCAL check-in 9/29 * *

Maybe Joleisa · September 2014

Welcome to TTCAL check-in! Please don't be shy in asking the PGAL/PAL ladies questions if you have them.

Where are you in your TTCAL journey?

Do you have any relevant appointments upcoming?

QOTW: To POAS or not to POAS? When do you test?

Open Topic: What is on your mind this week?

(Please accept my sincere apologies at posting this randomly each week! I'm working crazy hours covering several positions--hoping we hire someone soon.)

bunnybun4 · September 2014

thansk @maybejoleisa for running this check-in! I don't mind the random days at all!

where are you in your ttcal journey? on bcp waiting for ivf #1- starting meds at the end of October.

QOTW: not until after 12dpo usually...i hate bfns so I used to try and wait AF out.

Open Topic: just nervous about ivf and ready to get this show on the road...waiting a whole month just to get started seems like a long time right now.

Maybe Joleisa · September 2014

@bunnybun4‌ : IF treatment is a lot of hurry up and wait, so it sounds like you are right on track!

They put you on BCPs to quiet your ovaries, but also to get you fit into their surgery schedules for ER and ET. I look forward to hearing about your cycle as it nears. Good luck!

stefuge · October 2014

Hi ladies,

@Maybe Joleisa‌ - thank you for running the check-in! And don't worry about the random posting days, life is crazy, we get it!

@bunnybun4‌ - thinking of you as you start the whole IVF adventure. Hopefully October will pass quickly!

Where are you in your TTCAL journey?
Cycle 2, CD 8

Do you have any relevant appointments upcoming?
Nope

QOTW: To POAS or not to POAS? When do you test?
Well, I tried to tell myself this last cycle I would wait until at least the day before AF was due, but I didn't make it. My temps were looking so good, and I was excited, and I caved. BFN. Oh well, it was a good reminder with a cheapie test that it is better just to wait!

Open Topic: What is on your mind this week?
I have been feelings pretty down lately. I think maybe partially because October is coming, which is when Colton would have been born, and we should be celebrating his first birthday. Also, I think, because its pregnancy and infant loss awareness month. I have taken a big break from my blog, and had wanted to participate in capture your grief this year, and I just don't know if I feel up to it. All of this has really taken my mind off of TTCAL, which is good, I suppose. Less stress and anxiety. I think I had been putting a lot of pressure wanting it to happen the first month (which is crazy and totally unrealistic, I know, but I do think that was part of my emotions last month) so now that we are on cycle 2, I'm feeling less anxious. That may change as we get closer to O and then POAS time, but we'll see.

bunnybun4 · October 2014

@stefuge - sorry about the bfn! big ((hugs)) this month.

schulme2 · October 2014

@Maybe Joleisa‌ Thank you for doing the check in!
@bunnybun4‌ Good luck with IVF, I hope the waiting time goes by fast!
@stefuge‌ I'm sorry this is starting as a tough month for you! Lots of hugs!

Where are you in your TTCAL journey?

Well 18 DPTrigger... No AF and BFN. :-( so I don't know what's going on. Ugghhhh really thought this could've been our month finally!

Do you have any relevant appointments upcoming? I'll just have to schedule my next CD 14 ultrasound/trigger whenever this next cycle starts.

QOTW: To POAS or not to POAS? When do you test? Today was the first day I tested... On my birthday! I thought "what a great birthday gift that would be" and got a few BFN. So, not a good birthday. I usually wait at least until 13 DPO

Open Topic: What is on your mind this week? Just not having a good day. Missing Mary, starting PAIL month, BFN, awful headache and reminded that I'm getting older... And Mary's not.

(

stefuge · October 2014

@schulme2‌ - ((hugs)) and happy birthday! What a rough day. But you aren't out til AF shows, right? So, maybe?

schulme2 · October 2014

@stefuge‌ Thank you! Well, guess who showed up?! CD 2 today...

(

shandorfml2 · October 2014

*siggy

@schulme2 darn that AF biotch! ((hugs))

stefuge · October 2014

@schulme2‌ - boo AF! ((Hugs))

schulme2 · October 2014

Thank you ladies! :x

LyndseyTS · October 2014

Hi ladies...this is going to sound really silly, but here goes.

Can I join the TTCAL check-in (even if it's not regularly, we love you @Maybe_Joleisa!). I'm still medically benched until January, but I just want some glimmer of hope. If you want me to wait, that's okay - I won't be offended. Just feeling online in the "wish I was TTCAL club" because we're ready, but the body's crazy. *sigh*

Sending all sorts of positiveness your way!

ETA: Apparently I don't know how to spell. Fixed!

schulme2 · October 2014

@LyndseyTS‌ I'm not around all that much but I think it would be great for you to join! I hope you can find some hope here and not just Debby Downer (me).

stefuge · October 2014

@LyndseyTS‌ - you are totally welcome to join! I will say though, in the year that we were TTA, I tried hanging around on TTCAL and checking in here, and it was tough. I found myself feeling even more obsessed and consumed with babies and pregnancy and all of it, and really what I needed was to step away, focus on my family and myself and grieving. I realize that this was me and not you, but that was my experience. ((Hugs)) as you wait until January before trying and we are here to support and encourage you until then and as you burn the bench!

ETA: clarification

LyndseyTS · October 2014

@schulme2 Thank you and you are NOT a Debby Downer! I am holding out lots of hope on your behalf. Sorry for your recent BFN.

@stefuge Thanks! I'm trying to decide whether it will be helpful or not. I just feel like I'm somewhere in limbo and it's a strange place to be (you can probably relate). In terms of grieving, I'm feeling pretty good (that is, able to function relatively normally and hold myself together most of the time. Obviously it will never go away, but it has changed in a good way). Maybe I'll hang out here for a little while and see how it goes. I'm trying to put my focus on my business in the meantime (so I'm not ALWAYS thinking about TTC). Maybe it will work. We'll see!

Thanks ladies. I'm thankful that you're so welcoming.

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