"Safe zone"

nicunursetomommy · October 2014

Hi ladies!

Just wondering when you felt like you hit the safe zone in first trimester or if your OBs mentioned when we needed to stop frantically worrying haha

12 weeks has seemed like it has always been the standard. But I have also heard once you see the heartbeat and it is at an appropriate rate you are nearing the safe zone.

I am so incredibly grateful and happy to have a strong HR of 133 at my last US..but when can we stop worrying?!

Now I understand all those years my mom told me, "you will never stop worrying about your children"...

texasmama15 · October 2014

Great question! I think once we saw the heart beat at 6w6d we relaxed a little, but of course always still worried. My doctor told me she considers each trimester to be 14 weeks which I've never thought of that way but we still haven't broadcasted our news loud and proud quite yet. Waiting until at least 12 weeks before we go public on facebook.

happyfarmwife10 · October 2014

My ob told me that the rate for miscarriage drops to about 1% after week 9. That's if you had an ultrasound around that mark and things look good. Happy 9 weeks to me tomorrow. I'm feeling pretty good about the outcome of this pregnancy because I feel crappy.

bjackson2688 · October 2014

I saw the heartbeat about 2 weeks ago and felt more comfortable telling a few more people... There's still a chance but I believe once you make it to 8w and see the heartbeat your much less likely to m/c. congrats!!! It's such an awesome feeling to see. However I don't think we'll ever stop worrying! This is life for us now I guess!! Lol

nicunursetomommy · October 2014

Yay congrats on 9 weeks tomorrow! I did also hear that passing 8 weeks was a milestone as well! And have heard seeing the heartbeat decreases the risk down to around less than 5% potentially

kj808 · October 2014

I feel better after seeing the baby and hearing strong heartbeats twice but I hear stories of people who have heard the hb one week and then nothing the next. I don't know, i'm sure i'll feel even better once I hit 12 weeks, but I doubt i'll ever stop worrying! For now i'm just trying to stay positive and enjoy the pregnancy

Pintobean39 · October 2014

My only safe zone is when I deliver. I'm one of those odd ones. 3 of my babies had heartbeats and I still lost them, 1 at 14 weeks, 10 1/2, and 8 1/2. I do know this baby is genetically normal so I may breath a little when I see the heart beat. Having those losses have ruined the joy of getting pregnant for me.

Poppy715 · October 2014

I will never feel safe. I felt safe last time after we hit V-day. We even celebrated. Then all hell broke loose. So sorry to be that person but my first baby and I are proof there is no "safe zone".

MAdams728 · October 2014

Most people get more comfortable after 12 weeks. Others after the age of viability.

There is never a safe zone. It just changes. Early losses, health problems, cord accidents, preterm labor, problems with the delivery. There are always risks. Then they are born and an entire new world of fear opens up.

shirleymaeby · October 2014

@petrichor10 - That must have been terrible. I am so sorry for your loss.

Even if I pull out of the current limbo I am in I don't think I will ever feel safe. Too many of the ladies I knew from 3T and too many of those I have met through this board have had losses at all stages of the pregnancy. I'm with @PintoBean39 and will only feel safe when I have an actual baby in my arms.

blackbird818 · October 2014

(((HUGS))) & kisses to you @Poppy715 and sweet Addie

Honestly, after my own loss, time on TTCAL and the stories the lovely ladies have shared over there, I will not be in the "safe zone" until I'm holding my rainbow in my arms.

Morenajuliet · October 2014

I agree that every positive milestone is amazing and so exciting. We really have no guarantee as to when we're in the safe zone though. With even a small percent chance that a baby could be lost I think all moms have that constant fear in their mind whether they go on to having a healthy baby or sadly something happens. All you can do is your best but know that so much of it is out of your control. I was more comfortable after the12 week and then even more excited and a little relieved after the anatomy scan (is that 20 weeks?) Enjoy all those wonderful milestones though!!

sunnysidexup · October 2014

I heard a heartbeat and mc the same day. To me, heartbeat alone is not safe. I won't feel safe til I have a healthy baby in my arms. My sis-in-law miscarried at 20 weeks and so many other times. There truly is no absolute "safe" zone IMO but we will be sharing with the public around Thanksgiving at 14 wks.

sunnysidexup · October 2014

Poppy715 said:

I will never feel safe. I felt safe last time after we hit V-day. We even celebrated. Then all hell broke loose. So sorry to be that person but my first baby and I are proof there is no "safe zone".

@Poppy715 was it just this past V-day? I had the same exact thing happen, except we celebrated Feb 13th and it started the same day. Love to you.

blackbird818 · October 2014

ramy3 said:

@sunnysidexup I'm guessing she's talking about viability day which is 24 weeks.

Yes this. V-day means viability day.

SchoolPsychSteph · October 2014

My safe zone is when I get to hold my living rainbow baby. So around 40 weeks? I don't want to scare anyone, but once you cross over into TTCAL and PgAL, you see the pregnancy world very differently. It's not as exciting, but mostly terrifying.

Poppy715 · October 2014

ramy3 said:

Poppy715 said:

I will never feel safe. I felt safe last time after we hit V-day. We even celebrated. Then all hell broke loose. So sorry to be that person but my first baby and I are proof there is no "safe zone".

Love tit for support. >:D<

Thanks sweets.

blackbird818 said:

(((HUGS))) & kisses to you @Poppy715 and sweet Addie

Honestly, after my own loss, time on TTCAL and the stories the lovely ladies have shared over there, I will not be in the "safe zone" until I'm holding my rainbow in my arms.

Thanks darlin'.

Poppy715 · October 2014

sunnysidexup said:

Poppy715 said:

I will never feel safe. I felt safe last time after we hit V-day. We even celebrated. Then all hell broke loose. So sorry to be that person but my first baby and I are proof there is no "safe zone".

@Poppy715 was it just this past V-day? I had the same exact thing happen, except we celebrated Feb 13th and it started the same day. Love to you.

V-day is viability day. The point when if your LO were to be born they would have a good chance at survival.

We had our loss at 26w and like 2 days or something. I'm not exactly sure ( I know the 26 weeks hazy on the days).

ETA: I should read the whole thread before commenting. I feel like a redundant idiot.

ambarnett1 · October 2014

After 28 weeks I felt good. I felt like if my baby was born he had a good chance of survival. After that I could breathe.

sunnysidexup · October 2014

Poppy715 said:

sunnysidexup said:

Poppy715 said:

I will never feel safe. I felt safe last time after we hit V-day. We even celebrated. Then all hell broke loose. So sorry to be that person but my first baby and I are proof there is no "safe zone".

@Poppy715 was it just this past V-day? I had the same exact thing happen, except we celebrated Feb 13th and it started the same day. Love to you.

V-day is viability day. The point when if your LO were to be born they would have a good chance at survival.
We had our loss at 26w and like 2 days or something. I'm not exactly sure ( I know the 26 weeks hazy on the days).
ETA: I should read the whole thread before commenting. I feel like a redundant idiot.

Ah ok. I thought you meant Valentine's Day.

Poppy715 · October 2014

sunnysidexup said:
Ah ok. I thought you meant Valentine's Day.

*Snip*

That's an easy mistake to make. Once you are KU V-day has a whole different meaning! Viability day is a huge milestone. If your LO is healthy and you do go into labor early cahnces are good that you will still deliver a healthy baby.

nicunursetomommy · October 2014

Unfortunately, being a NICU nurse, it is really hard for me to consider V-day in the safe zone considering I see what these little preemies go through and their poor outcomes

It is almost worse knowing absolutely everything that can possibly go wrong. I think I will feel a lot better around 32-35 weeks

Poppy715 · October 2014

nicunursetomommy said:

Unfortunately, being a NICU nurse, it is really hard for me to consider V-day in the safe zone considering I see what these little preemies go through and their poor outcomes It is almost worse knowing absolutely everything that can possibly go wrong. I think I will feel a lot better around 32-35 weeks

I totally agree. My nephew was a preemie and had a tough first couple of weeks. Most have tough first months and years. I felt like your question was a bit odd as a NICU nurse. You know even more than most about the fagility of our tiny growing humans.
*not at all saying it was a bad question. Just to clarify!

nicunursetomommy · October 2014

haha no that is understandable! I think my career makes me more paranoid. And I know a lot about what happens AFTER delivery and the "safe zones" once you're in 2nd and 3rd tri...but first tri is an entirely different ballgame for me. This is my first pregnancy so I have really no idea what to expect in these first weeks leading up to 2nd tri. Things are so different when you are the patient.

lupineaura · October 2014

To be honest, with my first, I didn't start feeling safe until after she was old enough to be at decreased risk for SIDS. And of course I still worry sometimes. That being said, I still like to celebrate each milestone- home HPT, good Beta, seeing a sac, hearing a HB, etc. I try to balance my anxiety with positive thoughts- some days I'm more successful than others. With this pregnancy, I'm going to tell more people earlier, because me being pregnant is going to prevent me from participating in some activities like I normally would. Plus, with twins, I feel it will be harder to hide it longer, and I'll probably have to tell my work soon since I may not be able to work right up until my due date (it makes a difference in my field). So, I might let the word spread once we (hopefully) hear two HB.

Unknown · October 2014

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raquen40t · October 2014

For me, I typically don't even prefer a Doppler until after week ten. So until then, I go by faith. Live every day being healthy, refusing to panic and loving my loved ones. Then around week 11 I usually feel the baby squirming. From there on out I count on the squirming as a sign we are still going. But essentially, it does no good to constantly worry, as my kids and husband need a faithful mom and wife. I'm learning.
The safest zone to be is ready to accept the things I cannot change & embrace those I can.

nicunursetomommy · October 2014

Thank you so much raquen! Definitely needed to hear that

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