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February 2014 Moms
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Dying out of guilt!

ShePersistedShePersisted member
in February 2014 Moms
Ok I'm feeling miserable. I was playing with LO on the floor and he was climbing all over me then going back down. In one instance where I thought he'd be fine he lost balance and fell hitting his face to the ground. He cried so bad and I then cried. He was okay after 10 mins and was back to normal play but I just can't get over how negligent I was. H was right there and got really mad at me for not giving my full attention.

I deserve all the flaming! I mean it was one thing if I was not near him or that he fell by accident. I was right there and he fell literally from my lap. I just can't get over the fact that it could have been worse, what if I was sitting in the balcony or what if he cut himself. I just can't seem to get over it. Is this normal this super guilt?
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Re: Dying out of guilt!

  • ShePersistedShePersisted member
    Avswolf said:

    Also, please don't play the "what if" game. You'll make yourself crazy. LO is fine, and you will be too. Hugs

    Thanks! I know it's just FTM freak on but I just can't shake this feeling. I just needed to say it aloud in a place where someone would understand and not call me a looney!
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  • ShePersistedShePersisted member
    Thank you ladies. I am not trying to beat myself and I get that babies will fall but jeez this weird emotional craziness! I was not expecting that! I've seen LO fall a few times but some how the fact that it was from my lap just did a number on me.
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  • breadpuddingbreadpudding member
    Please don't feel bad! It was an accident. Even though LO was right in your lap, it was still an accident. You didn't mean for anything to happen, and it's not fair to beat yourself up over it. Or for YH to freak out, for that matter. *eye roll*

    ((Hugs)) You are a wonderful Momma. Accidents happen.
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  • halfthetree halfthetree member
    Aw huge hugs, you did nothing wrong! Accidents happen.
    Our LO fell off the couch a month ago, and seriously she was sitting in between me and DH. They move so fast sometimes, and are so unpredictable.
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  • Dexter&11Dexter&11 member
    Accidents happen - it could just as easily have happened with LO on YH lap (which I would be reminding him of!!!!) The LO's are all getting so much more active, and sometimes they need to feel the knocks and scrapes so they understand that the world isn't made of cotton wool and pillows and throwing themselves off of things like the bed/sofa isn't fun :)
    Em is in multi-terrain, 4x4 mode at the moment and climbs/crawls over everything. I got out of the shower the other day to find her climbing the rocking chair in her nursery. When she heard me she let go and twisted...then crashed to the floor - it happens. You are not a bad momma :)
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  • djtippietoesdjtippietoes member
    He did fall by accident though.  You didn't mean for it to happen!  If it makes you feel better, LO was at one of those standing table things (at the doctor's waiting room with tons of people, so they all saw this) and just lost his balance and fell backward and hit his head recently.  It just happens.  As long as they are okay, there's no need to play the "what if" game. 
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  • NoetholaNoethola member
    You were there to scoop him up and comfort him. you are a good mom. LOs are so fast and are their own person <-- unpredictable. They are learning how to grow and be their own person. It sucks when these things happen, but they do happen and will continue. Kids get bumps and bruises despite our best efforts. But they learn from them, and learn we are there to comfort them. It doesnt stop the guilt in the moment, because you want to protect them. 

    My LO fell off the couch while I was playing with him. I even had a hand on him, but he was too fast. I felt horrible. My DH reminded me that he was a little boy and that likely would be minor compared to what is to come. I still feel bad that he took a nose dive on  my watch, but I  also know that kids will be kids. You cannot protect them from everything. But you can be there to comfort them.
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  • ShePersistedShePersisted member
    Thank you everyone. I feel better this morning and reading all comments helps. I will stop playing the 'what if' game. I promise!
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  • boogerbearoriginalboogerbearoriginal member
    Ditto @soap1 -  both H/I have had our fair share of "oops" injuries, and simply LOs learning to move, like walking/jumping/stairs/etc will fall all.the.time.  Then when they're older it'll turn to falling of bikes, and on and on.

    I know it's hard to feel like you could've stopped it, but the fact is accidents happen. All you can do is try to avoid the obvious things like knives/fire ;), and just comfort and move on.


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  • cattuccinocattuccino member
    Falling is part of learning. 
    I know you feel awful, but it's all a process. 

    I wouldn't consider you negligent by any means. <3 
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