TTC After a Loss

AMA Checkin

***<><>AMA check-in<><>***
This check-in is for Friday, October 3, 2014
I’ve done a lot of reflection over the last several weeks and have decided that it is time for me to pass on this check-in. I have not been giving it the attention that it deserves and two years is a long time to put in as a check-in leader.  It originally was once a week, I changed it to every other and have been struggling with keeping up with that. Whoever takes it over is welcome to bring it back to weekly if they would like.
Please post below if you are interested in taking over the check-in.
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No new members
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Congrats to RustyGirl3!!!!!!

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This is a check-in designed for us that are AMA (35+) and dealing with that added challenge in our TTCAL journeys. Please feel free to share your insights, vents, thoughts, and anything else. Mostly this check-in is to remind all of us that we are not alone and to offer support to each other. Check in every other  Friday. New members: Post an introduction and your current TTC status and I will add you to the list! Welcome :-) Current members: Post your updates, link to your chart, upcoming appointments, and if you get a BFP, please PM me! If you get a BFP and do not PM me,  I will not post your BFP in the check-in.
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Current Members:
 bookishmama

buggirl72
clh4444
dajhughes
furrypaws

gscoville
HeyMrsPotter
HoldingOutHope
jenwashington
katib77
kboydbowman

lesliem0901
meredithcarole
O2girl
rubysi
scrang74

sunflwra
Tablefor5
tlc35
VesperLynch
yellowcat10


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Please provide an update on how you are and what’s going in your life.



To anyone who missed last week’s check-in: how are you?


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The day the Bump died - Jasper is wise
Image and video hosting by TinyPic

Re: AMA Checkin

  • My update -

    I go in Monday morning to see what is going on with my cyst. I believe it has not resolved itself in the past 8 weeks since it was discovered on u/s. Out of the last 26 days, I've marked 12 of those as having pain on my right side (where the cyst is).  I've noticed the pain is more present when I am sitting at a desk (which means the week off I had could account for 8 days with no pain marked) or when I lay a certain way on my right side. If it is doing what I think it is, I can't see the doctor not recommending removing the cyst. I have no illusions what that will do to my ovary.

    If it does turn out to be a surgery recommendation, I need to decide if I should get in to an RE first to make sure they try to maintain a little of my fertility or make sure that we do not make DE a non-option in some way. On a positive note, it's CD26 for me! That is the longest cycle I have had since May! Maybe the doctor was not whack when he said provera would stop my prolonged bleeding.

    On the non-TTCAL front: still no job and my H has a skin cancer that he needs to have removed but the doctor that is supposed to do it has not called to schedule it. He is TERRIFIED of having it removed (it's on his temple/forehead) and she already told him how much would be taken off. The poor guy is terrified of needles and does not do good on anticipation of pain. Right now, I am very frustrated with HIPAA because I need to be the one contacting the doctor to make sure this gets scheduled - it also does not help that he is uber busy at work and neither doctor's office is returning his calls . . .

    The day the Bump died - Jasper is wise
    Image and video hosting by TinyPic
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  • ((Hugs)) Bug.

    Somehow I always miss this post, but I wanted to pop in and say hi. I hope everyone is doing well this week.
    TTCAL January Siggy Challenge: Animals in the Snow

    image

      
    About Me: 

    AMA 35 :  DH 33
    BFP#1 1/26/14 (EDD: 10/7/14).  MMC 3/10/14 D&C 3/14/14
    RE Consult 11/3/14 - AMH 2.25 "great" . FSH 7.10 . Low Vitamin D
    Myomectomy 12/17/14.  Benched until March.

    image

    My Ovulation Chart
  • @buggirl72 I am sorry for your cyst and that YH needs the skin cancer removed. I hope that you don't need surgery.
    @Holdingouthope I am sorry that your medicated cycle was a bust.  That is understandable that it would be an extra bummer. 
    @meredithcarole, I see you got crosshairs today, yay!
    @mial78 your chart does look nice, FX for you

    AFM: I am CD 8 and my H is 1 week postop from his hernia surgery.  He is feeling better with less pain and more mobile each day.  I hope he will be up to HIO next week but I don't want to pressure him. Right now I am just counting down to the RE appointment in 3 weeks.
    Me: 37                                               
    DH: 45
    BFP #1 3/19/14  EDD 11/29/14 MMC D&C 4/24/14
    BFP #2  12/4/14 Beta #1 218 at 12dpo Beta #2 1055 at 16dpo
    Saw heartbeat 12/29.  Please be a rainbow.
    imagerainbows
              
    All welcome                                   
                              
  • Hi everyone!

    @buggirl72 sorry to hear about the cyst and your husband' surgery.  It all sounds like a lot to deal with at once.

    @HoldingOutHope sorry the cycle was a bust, but congrats on the move.  I think tomorrow marks a week for us too, but unpacking will never end!

    @mia78 good luck!

    @tlc35 I hope your H feels better soon!

    @meriditchcarole I glad to see you got crosshairs, I lost patience with temping about 4 months in.  It gave me more stress than I needed.

    AFM I got a BFFN today on our second IUI.  This one hit me harder than the first.  I think it is because I turn 37 next week.  All of a sudden I feel a lot older and am starting to panic.  At least the nice lady at the liquor store carded me.  And another professor thought I was a student, but he is 78 and can't see so well...

    I am starting to loss hope with this whole process, it is almost two years now.  Granted, most of the first year H and I were not even in the same country, and two months out of this year I was in Africa.  But still, it feels like a long time.  I used to be able to envision myself with kids, now I can't.  And the worst part is I am not sure what to do if I do not have any.  H is against adoption for some reason and we cannot afford it anyway.

    Thankfully, my funks usually pass in a day or two, it takes too much energy to be sad all the time (at least for me).  Thanks for reading this rambling, I started drinking at 4, 3 beers in right now!
  • I just want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for your long dedication to this checkin @buggirl72‌ , you've been my sanity on so many occasions over the last year and a half and I just want you to know how deeply I love and appreciate you!  :x

    Nothing to report on the TTC front, we're still TTA while my doctors and I continue to try to figure out my various medical issues.  Results from my brain MRI came back essentially clear, so that's good, but doesn't help to pinpoint a reason for my weird bouts of light headedness, headaches, etc.  But my doctor did recommend checking some other things, one of which is sleep apnea, I've done two sessions with take-home little machines that measure heart rate, oxygenation, etc. and it seems there's something there.  The respiratory doctor would like me to go for a comprehensive polysom evaluation, as the home machines can only give a general indication not a diagnosis, but as that would involve three weekdays in Vancouver it's not something I can do right now, so in the meantime the respiratory centre would like me to do a therapy trial for a few weeks with a mask and machine to see if I notice a difference.  Given my self-diagnosed insomnia, as in I've always been a shitty sleeper and always seem to run on low steam even when I've slept for a decent amount at night, I'm very interested to see what comes of this.  

    Oh, and I have my OB appointment later this month to review my testing results around trying to figure out why I'm bleeding all but 5-7 days out of every cycle.  

    ((((hugs)))) to all of you wonderful ladies!!


         

    imageimage

    Married August 2012. Me: 41  DH: 42 
    Daughter from previous marriage: 20

    BFP 12/19/12: Ectopic discovered at 8 weeks, right tube removed 01/18/13
    June 2013 Testing Results: Progesterone: 31.7, LH: 5, FSH: 5, Estradiol: 161
    Clomid cycles Nov. 2013 and Jan, Feb, and March 2014

    TTC journey over as of the end of October 2014

    TTCAL BLOG

    All ALers welcome!

  • @buggirl72 Thank you for your check ins. I am sorry about the cyst. I have in the past had bcp's for a couple months and it did work for me. I bet your DH'S procedure will be easier than he imagines. I have a couple family members have had several patches removed, they said it was uncomfortable  not unbearable. 

    @holdingouthope I am glad you like your new home in FL. I am sorry about the medicated cycle, I hope your new RE will help you come up with a good plan. I am also willing to take on this check-in. 

    @mlal78 just 2 more days to test...good luck. I hope you are feeling better.

    @tlc35 I hope dh recovers quickly. 

    @yellowcat10  Hugs. I know what you mean about losing hope. Enjoy those beers. 

    @gscoville It sounds like they might be on the right track with sleep apnea. Your symptoms can point to many things. Hopefully your OB has some answer's for you.

    AFM : I had a ruptured cyst last cycle, with a surprise early AF, some insurance issues and a natural cycle.I am currently sitting at dpo2. Not really holding my breath for this cycle. I had +opk 2-4 days earlier than usual.

    On the not TTC front my new position at work is crazy. I have worked 40 hrs this week and have another 9 hrs of overnight work tonight. I turned 39 on Monday and spent the day eating junk food and purchasing toys... is this my midlife crisis?

    Hugs for everyone. 

    image
                ***TTCAL January siggy challenge ***
  • @HoldingOutHope I guess we are twins!  I am a triplet so having company along the way is fine with me!  I think it is healthier for me to start letting go, H says it is a bad attitude.  I see his point but he also is not the one getting shots and taking drugs and planning his weeks around maybe being KU.  I know this is not his fault, but that is the way it is.

    @rubysi I get the mid-life crisis, I had many in my twenties.  I had a great time, and might go back to that behavior now, I was much more relaxed!  Right now I am looking online for home bars.  
  • Hi, Bug! :-h I've been missing you!

    First of all, now that I am done with the worst of my move, I am willing to take this check-in if there are no other takers.

    I really hope that the cyst has resolved and you don't have to go a surgical route, but I totally understand "knowing" your body and you're probably correct in your suspicions. I am SO thrilled to hear you are on CD26, though! I thought your doctor was smoking something good when he recommended Provera, but maybe he does know a thing or two. ;) I'm so sorry about the job situation and YH's need for skin cancer removal. :( (((Hugs)))

    AFM: We've been in our new house for almost a week, and though we've made progress, we have a LOT left to unpack and do. We'll get there. No enormous rush, I suppose. We absolutely love our house and our neighborhood. It's so good to be back in FL. :)

    On the TTCAL front, my first medicated cycle was a bust and I have been really bummed about it. I don't know why I was so hopeful about it. I've been pulled back to the reality that the end of our journey is drawing closer. I was dragging my feet about setting up an appt with a new RE here, but finally bit the bullet and made the appt today. Only a week and a half from now. And the RE I will be seeing actually specializes in RPL, so I'm intrigued to see what she says and recommends. We'll see.

    Big (((hugs))) to all of you, ladies! <3
    Hey lady! Thank you for offering to take over the check-in. You will be wonderful!  One suggestion that saved my sanity on check-ins: if you are not already using Google docs, I strongly recommend doing your check-in that way. It is much easier than word.


    The day the Bump died - Jasper is wise
    Image and video hosting by TinyPic
  • ((Hugs)) Bug. Somehow I always miss this post, but I wanted to pop in and say hi. I hope everyone is doing well this week.
    Hi! I was just chart stalking you  - FF set your cover line super low! Looks like you got your bases covered pretty well. Good luck!

    The day the Bump died - Jasper is wise
    Image and video hosting by TinyPic
  • mlal78 said:
    Hi ladies!

    Not much new around here to report.  I am sitting at 10dpo and hoping to make it until Sunday before testing.  My chart looks pretty, but I think that is because I have been sick for the past week and a bit, and have had a low grade fever (maybe).  My post O temps are higher than normal anyway!
    (((Hugs))) and I'm amazed you have held off on testing! Good job!

    How are you feeling? I hope you are over the crud you have had.

    The day the Bump died - Jasper is wise
    Image and video hosting by TinyPic
  • tlc35 said:
    *snip*

    AFM: I am CD 8 and my H is 1 week postop from his hernia surgery.  He is feeling better with less pain and more mobile each day.  I hope he will be up to HIO next week but I don't want to pressure him. Right now I am just counting down to the RE appointment in 3 weeks.
    Three weeks is going to be here before you know it.  I'm glad your H is feeling better. Try not to stress out about timing next week. It stinks about the timing but you definitely do not want him over doing it.

    The day the Bump died - Jasper is wise
    Image and video hosting by TinyPic
  • Hi everyone!

    *snip*

    AFM I got a BFFN today on our second IUI.  This one hit me harder than the first.  I think it is because I turn 37 next week.  All of a sudden I feel a lot older and am starting to panic.  At least the nice lady at the liquor store carded me.  And another professor thought I was a student, but he is 78 and can't see so well...

    I am starting to loss hope with this whole process, it is almost two years now.  Granted, most of the first year H and I were not even in the same country, and two months out of this year I was in Africa.  But still, it feels like a long time.  I used to be able to envision myself with kids, now I can't.  And the worst part is I am not sure what to do if I do not have any.  H is against adoption for some reason and we cannot afford it anyway.

    Thankfully, my funks usually pass in a day or two, it takes too much energy to be sad all the time (at least for me).  Thanks for reading this rambling, I started drinking at 4, 3 beers in right now!
    I'm so sorry for the BFN ((((hugs)))). 

    Even though it has been almost two years, it sounds like a lot of those cycles were not TTC ones. Try to keep that in mind when you think about "how long" it has been.

    The day the Bump died - Jasper is wise
    Image and video hosting by TinyPic
  • gscoville said:
    I just want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for your long dedication to this checkin @buggirl72‌ , you've been my sanity on so many occasions over the last year and a half and I just want you to know how deeply I love and appreciate you!  :x

    Nothing to report on the TTC front, we're still TTA while my doctors and I continue to try to figure out my various medical issues.  Results from my brain MRI came back essentially clear, so that's good, but doesn't help to pinpoint a reason for my weird bouts of light headedness, headaches, etc.  But my doctor did recommend checking some other things, one of which is sleep apnea, I've done two sessions with take-home little machines that measure heart rate, oxygenation, etc. and it seems there's something there.  The respiratory doctor would like me to go for a comprehensive polysom evaluation, as the home machines can only give a general indication not a diagnosis, but as that would involve three weekdays in Vancouver it's not something I can do right now, so in the meantime the respiratory centre would like me to do a therapy trial for a few weeks with a mask and machine to see if I notice a difference.  Given my self-diagnosed insomnia, as in I've always been a shitty sleeper and always seem to run on low steam even when I've slept for a decent amount at night, I'm very interested to see what comes of this.  

    Oh, and I have my OB appointment later this month to review my testing results around trying to figure out why I'm bleeding all but 5-7 days out of every cycle.  

    ((((hugs)))) to all of you wonderful ladies!!
    Thank you ((((hugs)))).

    Yay for the MRI turning out okay!

    The sleep apnea would explain a lot of what you are feeling - especially being tired and run down even after a good nights sleep. I hope the trial works and you start feeling better quickly.

    I really hope your OB can figure out why you keep having all of this bleeding. I was trying to remember what my OB said about the causes - it seemed like he said you pretty much can break it down to 3 or 4 umbrella type things that would cause this: hormones, infection, structural issue, or cancer. My OB thought mine was from lack of ovulation that then created too little progesterone - which is why he prescribed the ten days of provera to rebalance my estrogen rich system. We know I have fibroids which can also cause the bleeding but the provera does seems to have worked.

    Is your husband back home now and done with school?

    The day the Bump died - Jasper is wise
    Image and video hosting by TinyPic
  • furrypaws said:
    Hi loves. Still TTA for now. I'll be scheduling my HSG as soon as AF shows up. Having some communication issues with DH regarding our losses and moving forward. I got some good ideas from my shrink this week on how to try and open him up. FX something works.
    .
    Thanks bug and HOH! :x
    (((Hugs))) I'm glad your doc was able to give you some ideas on how to get your DH talking about this. I hope they work and the two of you can start communicating better on this.

    The day the Bump died - Jasper is wise
    Image and video hosting by TinyPic
  • buggirl72buggirl72 member
    edited October 2014
    rubysi said:
    *snip*

    AFM : I had a ruptured cyst last cycle, with a surprise early AF, some insurance issues and a natural cycle.I am currently sitting at dpo2. Not really holding my breath for this cycle. I had +opk 2-4 days earlier than usual.

    On the not TTC front my new position at work is crazy. I have worked 40 hrs this week and have another 9 hrs of overnight work tonight. I turned 39 on Monday and spent the day eating junk food and purchasing toys... is this my midlife crisis?

    Hugs for everyone. 
    Oh no! I'm so sorry about the ruptured cyst! Those are so painful!

    Happy belated birthday! I think eating junk food and buying toys for your birthday is perfectly okay. For my 40th, we went to the zoo. I even got to wear a sticker :)

    ETA - I'll let you and HOH fight it out over who wants the check-in :)  Both of you would be wonderful.

    The day the Bump died - Jasper is wise
    Image and video hosting by TinyPic
  • *snip*

    AFM, CD 3. AF showed half a day earlier than expected, making for a 27-day cycle, slightly shorter than usual. I'm turning 41 next week, and I am wondering when to start TTA/using BC again as I'm beginning to make peace with the idea that this may just not work out. I'm currently still taking prenatals and probably have a supply through the rest of the year, so that could be my answer. I don't know. I never saw myself having children, except for this last year, so it feels like I am figuring out (still or again) who I want o be or how I want to live when I grow up. Midlife crisis? Right there with you guys! :-)

    I'm on fall break next week and DH and I will be flying out west to visit old friends, so really looking forward to that!

    (((Hugs))), ladies!


    What a fun way to spend fall break! I hope you and your H have a great trip that is relaxing and fun.

    This is such a weird road where we have to mix in hope with the realism of our odds, how much we can take, and how long we want to try. Birthdays seem to bring all of that to the forefront. Take your time coming to any decision. I think seeing how you feel once your prenatals run out is a good idea. (((hugs))) and have a happy birthday.

    The day the Bump died - Jasper is wise
    Image and video hosting by TinyPic
  • edited October 2014
    buggirl72 said:
    ((Hugs)) Bug. Somehow I always miss this post, but I wanted to pop in and say hi. I hope everyone is doing well this week.
    Hi! I was just chart stalking you  - FF set your cover line super low! Looks like you got your bases covered pretty well. Good luck!

    @buggirl72‌ yeah, I'm not totally convinced the crosshairs are accurate. If I remove the altered temp (Thursday) it keeps them, but if I lower it by .15 which was the first temp that I thought couldn't possibly be right it takes them away. Maybe tomorrow there will be enough data to have a better idea.

    ETA: Now it has moved the crosshairs to Thursday with a higher cover line. I'm going to leave it there.
    TTCAL January Siggy Challenge: Animals in the Snow

    image

      
    About Me: 

    AMA 35 :  DH 33
    BFP#1 1/26/14 (EDD: 10/7/14).  MMC 3/10/14 D&C 3/14/14
    RE Consult 11/3/14 - AMH 2.25 "great" . FSH 7.10 . Low Vitamin D
    Myomectomy 12/17/14.  Benched until March.

    image

    My Ovulation Chart
  • buggirl72 said:
    ((Hugs)) Bug. Somehow I always miss this post, but I wanted to pop in and say hi. I hope everyone is doing well this week.
    Hi! I was just chart stalking you  - FF set your cover line super low! Looks like you got your bases covered pretty well. Good luck!

    @buggirl72‌ yeah, I'm not totally convinced the crosshairs are accurate. If I remove the altered temp (Thursday) it keeps them, but if I lower it by .15 which was the first temp that I thought couldn't possibly be right it takes them away. Maybe tomorrow there will be enough data to have a better idea.

    ETA: Now it has moved the crosshairs to Thursday with a higher cover line. I'm going to leave it there.
    CD19 looks better to me - either way, your timing was really good!

    The day the Bump died - Jasper is wise
    Image and video hosting by TinyPic
  • buggirl72 said:
    rubysi said:
    *snip*

    AFM : I had a ruptured cyst last cycle, with a surprise early AF, some insurance issues and a natural cycle.I am currently sitting at dpo2. Not really holding my breath for this cycle. I had +opk 2-4 days earlier than usual.

    On the not TTC front my new position at work is crazy. I have worked 40 hrs this week and have another 9 hrs of overnight work tonight. I turned 39 on Monday and spent the day eating junk food and purchasing toys... is this my midlife crisis?

    Hugs for everyone. 
    Oh no! I'm so sorry about the ruptured cyst! Those are so painful!

    Happy belated birthday! I think eating junk food and buying toys for your birthday is perfectly okay. For my 40th, we went to the zoo. I even got to wear a sticker :)

    ETA - I'll let you and HOH fight it out over who wants the check-in :)  Both of you would be wonderful.
    No fighting nessesary. We have worked it out and I will be taking over the check in.. 

    image
                ***TTCAL January siggy challenge ***
  • Thanks Bug!
    TTCAL January Siggy Challenge: Animals in the Snow

    image

      
    About Me: 

    AMA 35 :  DH 33
    BFP#1 1/26/14 (EDD: 10/7/14).  MMC 3/10/14 D&C 3/14/14
    RE Consult 11/3/14 - AMH 2.25 "great" . FSH 7.10 . Low Vitamin D
    Myomectomy 12/17/14.  Benched until March.

    image

    My Ovulation Chart
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