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October 2014 Moms
MrMrsandBaby
member
All the questions I've been embarassed to ask about BFing
MrMrsandBaby
member
Quick backstory: BFing didn't work with DD. She was still at birth weight at 6 weeks and it was awful. So I'm trying to learn eveything I can about it this time around, do everything I can to make it successful. But now I have questions.
Lots of skin to skin - got it. But, when does daddy get to hold the baby? It seems like s2s is beneficial mostly for the mom and baby to help mom's body recognize the baby is there and produce milk. Great, but if baby is eating every 2-3 hours and lots of s2s is recommended, when does DH get to hold the baby and have some bonding time? How much s2s is recommended? For how long (not like, 10 minutes at a time, but more like until baby is how old)?
Nurse on demand - check. But, when do I sleep? Is this why a lot of moms use co-sleepers (little crib on the bed, not actual bed sharing)? When do I play with my 2 year old? When can I get out and walk my dog to get some alone time outside of the house?
Does anyone else feel like they will be latched to baby non-stop for weeks on end? Because this didn't work with my first, I'm seriously lost as to HOW it works and people are still able to function - and I know they are!
Sorry for the rambling, I'm just starting to get really nervous about the logistics.
Lots of skin to skin - got it. But, when does daddy get to hold the baby? It seems like s2s is beneficial mostly for the mom and baby to help mom's body recognize the baby is there and produce milk. Great, but if baby is eating every 2-3 hours and lots of s2s is recommended, when does DH get to hold the baby and have some bonding time? How much s2s is recommended? For how long (not like, 10 minutes at a time, but more like until baby is how old)?
Nurse on demand - check. But, when do I sleep? Is this why a lot of moms use co-sleepers (little crib on the bed, not actual bed sharing)? When do I play with my 2 year old? When can I get out and walk my dog to get some alone time outside of the house?
Does anyone else feel like they will be latched to baby non-stop for weeks on end? Because this didn't work with my first, I'm seriously lost as to HOW it works and people are still able to function - and I know they are!
Sorry for the rambling, I'm just starting to get really nervous about the logistics.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: All the questions I've been embarassed to ask about BFing
Plus I need daddy to hold the baby some just as much as he needs to hold him. But I'm going to keep at it and.find a way that works best for us.
Hope you get some more helpful answers and have a successful time at it this go around.
BF'ing if extremely hard, and don't let anyone tell you otherwise. I'm in the same posistion as you, I wasn't able to keep up with it for DD. Although, I hope to give it a go this time, I didn't make any promises. As much BF'ing as you can for the baby is great. But just know you don't get a medal at the end of it. I commend all of those mom's out there that are able to do it even for a few weeks.
I have to go back to work after 6-8 weeks. I plan to go as long as I can. I have a 3 and a half year old DD, so I will just have to weigh the pro's and con's of keeping up with it at that time. I seriously wish you luck, and just know that you aren't a bad mom if you decide to stop doing it.
Married to my love on 06-02-2007
Mikah Lucille born 03-02-2011
Baby Girl Zooey due October 2014
DH holds baby while she sleeps some times. Recently she started staying awake an extra 20 minutes or so after feeding and I usually pass her to him if he is home. He does some of her diaper changes through the day and he burps her. (For some reason, I cannot burp a baby. This is baby #3 and I seriously have never successfully burped any of them. He can get a burp after like 2 pats. Lol)
I haven't figured out getting outside yet but during the day time I lay a blanket out in the living room and let baby sleep there while me and the girls play. Sometimes the girls just sit with her and "help" me with her.
Sleep...excuse me while I look that one up in the dictionary...:) just know that there are always bumpees here at all hours when it gets rough.
You will get the hang of it and you will find a way!
The first few weeks of breastfeeding was rough because I was trying to get use to it, get baby used to it, and we fed on demand. It seemed like he would never stop feeding. I had DH help out with pretty much everything that was not breastfeeding. Circ care, diaper changes, rocking/soothing, swaddling, and baths.
As far as sleep, I know a lot of people say sleep when baby sleeps. I was never able to do that in the first few months. I would be so wired by the time DS1 fell asleep that I couldn't sleep. If you keep track of feedings you will generally start to notice a pattern around week 3 or so that should help you figure out how to schedule your day a little better. DS1 had certain periods of the day in which he always cluster fed, other times when he did small feedings, and you could see when he took his longer sleep stretches.
In the end, it will all be ok!
We only do skin to skin when feeding at home.
SO holds baby when I put DD down to sleep or to burp him when he's done eating.
At night I have him in the bassinet beside me. I take him out to nurse and feed him laying down with low light so everyone stays sleepy.
I play with DD when baby is asleep or I put him in the carrier.
"When does daddy get to hold the baby? It seems like s2s is beneficial mostly for the mom and baby to help mom's body recognize the baby is there and produce milk. Great, but if baby is eating every 2-3 hours and lots of s2s is recommended, when does DH get to hold the baby and have some bonding time?"
Skin-to-skin immediately after birth is very helpful, as you said, for bonding and initiating breastfeeding. It stimulates your supply and your breasts will heat/cool to regulate baby's temperature. Smelling baby's head also aids in attachment. Cool science stuff. It's commonly recommended to do skin-to-skin for about an hour after birth, if possible, within which time baby will hopefully show some interest in latching and will have his/her first feeding. After that, baby can be passed to dad and he can take baby to be weighed and measured, and then he can have some skin-to-skin time. A half-hour, hour, whatever feels right to him.
He can snuggle and hold baby until it's time for his/her next feeding, or for a little while while you rest, eat, shower, toilet, during exams, when you sleep...there will be plenty of times when you won't need to have a baby in your arms, and DH can be snuggling baby then. It won't be awkward at the time - won't feel like you're scheduling snuggles or taking turns - it'll come naturally. You'll want to hold your baby skin-to-skin for feedings and at other times, and sometimes you'll want a break and DH will want to hold baby. Just follow your instincts and do what comes naturally.
"How much s2s is recommended? For how long (not like, 10 minutes at a time, but more like until baby is how old)?"
Skin-to-skin is helpful for milk supply for as long as you're breastfeeding. Many toddlers crave skin-to-skin snuggling (some toddlers like to snuggle tummies with their mamas like my DS). It's really important in the early weeks, but even the skin-to-skin that baby gets when she sleeps with her head on your chest or when her cheek touches your breast as you nurse counts. Touch is a powerful thing.
Skin-to-skin is also a great way to reconnect with baby after a separation like the work day or date night. It's reassuring and comforting to LO and will give your supply a boost.
"Nurse on demand - check. But, when do I sleep? Is this why a lot of moms use co-sleepers (little crib on the bed, not actual bed sharing)?"
It's definitely one reason for keeping baby within arms reach! At night. Baby doesn't wake completely and become flustered/need calming before any feeds, and you don't have to get out of bed to nurse! Cosleeping moms (whether baby bedshares or is sidecarred) report getting more sleep than moms who get up and go into a nursery and nurse in a glider all night.
Nursing on demand doesn't mean you'll be latched 24-7. Newborn nursing can feel that way, and growth spurts, milestones, and teething can also bring frequent nursing. But you'll find that baby sets his/her own routine and will kind of be able to anticipate when he/she'll next want to nurse. Most kids get into an every 2-3 hour during the day and every 2-4 hour during the night routine, with an occasional short session in between. Depending on your storage capacity, this could be a little more or a little less. But baby knows how often and how long he/she needs to nurse to grow appropriately, so following baby's cues is really very helpful.
"When do I play with my 2 year old? When can I get out and walk my dog to get some alone time outside of the house?"
Like PP suggested, a wrap or baby carrier can help a lot. Baby will be able to do some tummy time on the floor next to you and your toddler. You can play with your toddler during baby's naps and at other times that work. A lot depends on your baby's personality, but it really will be ok. This is a little less a breastfeeding question and more just a STM question. As far as what to do with your toddler while you're nursing, making toys or snacks accessible so that you don't have to get them for your toddler while you're nursing can help. Keep a basket of books near where you sit to nurse, and you can snuggle/read to your toddler during those feedings.
As for when to get out on your own, depends on how you feel. Follow your instincts. As long as you're only gone a couple hours, and as long as you nurse before you leave and when you return, there's no need to even leave a bottle for baby.
"I'm just starting to get really nervous about the logistics."
It really does work! You'll find your groove and the new normal for your family, and it will be a rewarding experience for you!
You're doing great!