- Pregnancy
- Baby & Toddler
- Parents
- Getting Pregnant
- Baby Names
- Product Reviews
-
Registry
- Community
-
More
Want a personalized experience?
Download the free app
April 2014 Moms
*sparky*
member
Talking to your kids about death
*sparky*
member
I am very sad to say my stepmother did not make it. The doctors determined she had no brain function and her heart would never be strong enough to pump on it's own again so they turned off the machines today and she passed with her family there with her.
So now I have the difficult task of telling my DS, who loved her so very much, that she is no longer with us. This is the first death of someone he was close to. How do I even do this and then how can I help him cope with the grief afterward?
And of course next Friday is grandparents' day at his school. That is likely to be the day of her service and I will not send him to school that day regardless, but they usually do a few things in the days leading up to it to make something cute for the grandparents or whatever. That is going to make this just that much worse.
So any advice you have would be greatly appreciated.
So now I have the difficult task of telling my DS, who loved her so very much, that she is no longer with us. This is the first death of someone he was close to. How do I even do this and then how can I help him cope with the grief afterward?
And of course next Friday is grandparents' day at his school. That is likely to be the day of her service and I will not send him to school that day regardless, but they usually do a few things in the days leading up to it to make something cute for the grandparents or whatever. That is going to make this just that much worse.
So any advice you have would be greatly appreciated.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Talking to your kids about death
Started dating February 6, 2012
ETA: He can still prep for grandparents day at school. Have him make a card for her in heaven, write a letter, etc. maybe even have it at the service? Also, a great way to involve kids is by going through pictures and making photo boards for the service.
Death has come up a few times with my 3 year old, but I feel like our discussions are so specific to what we believe that I'm not sure how to offer advice not knowing your pesonal beliefs. I guess gentle honesty is what I tend towards with ds. Telling him in the simplest way and letting his questions steer our discussion. Good luck
The thing I remember from working in hospice care is to use the real words (death etc) instead of the phrases we tend to use such as pass away (like pp said). Maybe check with the local library to see if they have any picture books on death. That may help explain things or help prep your son for what to expect at the funeral home.
I hope you are able to help your son find some peace. And for yourself, as well.
People have given a lot of good advise, the only thing I want to add us don't be surprised if he takes it ok right now and later (months, possibly) it hits him hard. Kids can be pretty resilient in the moment but then it comes up later...
Peace to you during this difficult time.
Along the lines of making sure he still feels safe I am a little worried that the next time someone has surgery he will panic. Our dog went in for surgery in April and did not make it out and now his grandmother. So I want to make sure he understands this was major surgery and her heart was really sick already but I am not sure if that is the best way to go about it.
We told him this morning and used some of your advice and he is doing ok. Throughout the day he would have a question here and there and we were honest with him.
He will go to just one of the 4 viewings and also the funeral. This is his first one and it will be extremely difficult but I think he needs to be a part of it.